When You Go To Africa.

Originally we had planned to take on Africa on our own (the Gorilla is part African, however many people do not know that) but some how we resorted (no pun intended) in signing up for the tour to Tangier through the Marriott. Based on the look of the people waiting in the lobby with us at 7:05 am (yes, we were judging), we expected the group to be a much more lively and on the younger end of the spectrum. Our not so friends, Peter, Pink Shirt Boy and Earing Man joined us in the lobby at 7:05. We were apparently supposed to be leaving the hotel at 7:05, thus the Gorilla and I woke up at 6:00 to shower and drink coffee. Did I mention how we were supposed to leave a 7:05...However around 7:35, the bus finally rolled its wheels through the gates and we hopped aboard. 54 out of the 61 of the people on the bus were anywhere from 20 to 30 years older than the Gorilla and I. It was the worlds most touristy bunch. We got the visors, the fanny packs, the neck packs, the water bottle packs, the high socks, the big sun glasses (not the ones in style now), and the loud voices galore. The minute we stepped on the bus the Gorilla and I looked at each other and then wanted to run but then we remembered we were going to Africa and we couldn't really care that much. We took a 45 minute bus ride to the port. Luckily it was another fabulous day and from the port we could see Africa, Gibraltor and all of Spain. We climbed aboard the ferry, and rocked our way to Africa. Tangier is definitely a touristy port, and houses a cluster of different religions and nationalities, however it has a very strong Muslim community. Our tour comprised of a bus ride up the coast of Tangier where the Mediterranean meets the Atlantic, and then a quick stop off the side of a mountain for a camel ride and by ride I mean a sit on a camel, while the old men hecklers made lots of money from the old touristy men on our bus (they all got back on the bus shocked that they had spent so much money, they just couldn't believe it, but I was able to believe it because I saw it all go down.  Men would approach and ask for ridiculous amounts of money for their copper and gold dipped metal bracelets and rather than bargaining, the old Amurican men replied with a simple yes and in return received a handful of "worse than costume jewelry" jewelry. Camel riding (or I would say camel sitting) and bracelet buying led to a walk through the streets and a stop at a snake charmer, which (slowly but surely) led to a traditional Morroccan feast with mint green tea and belly dancers (the Gorilla thought one of them looked like the real freaky-retainer-talking-roommate...katiemb) We then headed to Africa's version of a car show but instead of cars, they were selling rugs.  A little man dressed in traditional apparel with little pointy yellow shoes, auctioned off different rugs.  Deep down inside, I hated these men because you could tell they were slimmy-money-suckers and everything in their store was very toursity and extremely marked up.  At this point, the Gorilla and I just wanted to run.  There were streets and streets of open air markets and all we wanted to do was explore.  We played the game of "who can take the best pictures with out looking through the lens" game, but a winner was never determined. After the carpet showdown we were given time to explore a few of the streets.  The Gorilla and I scattered from the group when scattering was allowed.  We bought scarves and checked out the different hole in the wall stores.  15 minutes was not that much scatter time but it was enough for us.  The good thing about this whole touristy tour was that it gave us a small taste (the size of a salt crystal) of Morocco and let us know that we are going to return. Around 5 we headed back on the ferry with our new best friends.  We met a Dilf and his two sons on their spring break and we chatted up a storm with them.  Through out this whole vacation, I keep saying "I feel like my parents should be here with me" and thus we adopted a few new families along the way. We headed to the grocery to get supplies for dinner.  Two boxes of cereal and a jug of milk (I would tell you the size but I can't read the labels here so a jug is a jug) It was all we needed to make the worlds greatest concoction. The Gorilla and I had a fashion show and watched more tele...we are really trying to soak up everything here including the sun, the television, the washer, the dryer, the coffee maker...just to name a few.  Today was just incredible and I still can't believe that I am writing this blog about going to Africa.  I have been to Africa.  

When You Go To Africa.

   


  

p.s. THIS IS THE JUMPING MAN...watch him jump

"Palm Tree Maintenance Team" -mbp

Who Knew Owning A Marriott Timeshare Could Be So Depressing?

With all of our guests gone, the Gorilla and I decided to transform back into our 20 year old bodies but switching over to our 80 year old mindsets. I woke up rather early because the silly alarm clock next to my bed was set for an hour later so when I thought it was acceptable to wake up at 9:40, I really woke up at 8:40 (which is not acceptable) Rather than jumping out on to the beach like we did yesterday, I decided that a nice bubble bath would be a good idea, so I hopped in the tub and read my book. I met the Gorilla down stairs at the gym around 9:45 (the real 9:45) and worked out for the first time in a very long time. After being in a bathing suit so much, I realized that I have grown in places that I didn't even know exisited before. A nice little run wouldn't hurt. At 11:30 we met down at the resturant for a "Paella and Sangria Demo". Gathered in a half moon shape around the grill, three older woman and one man sat ready with paper at hand to learn how to make these Spanish cuisines. I have been feeling a little funky the past two days, and my stomach has been uber reactive to the food here, so I didn't feel so good today. Before the cooking class started one of the women was talking about something and all of the sudden my ears zoomed in and I heard in a surprisingly cheerful tone with a harsh southern American accent "well since my husband is dead and I have no children, I thought I might get a timeshare" and then the lady sitting next to her was like "Yeah, my husband is dead too, and I don't have any children either" The Gorilla turned to me and in a very quite voice and mimicked their accents "Well, because I don't have a husband and never want children, I have a Marriott timehshare" It was funny and depressing at the same time to hear these ladies talk. They should definitely not be on the Marriott's board for advertising because you can only imagine a bill board reading "With my husband dead and no children, the Marriott was the perfect place to invest my money". Pointed-sideburns-sweatsuit man taught us how to make Sangria and Paella. Even though my stomach wanted to kill Paella, it was much easier to eat knowing that a. it was free and b. how it was made. Sometimes I wonder when I am eating it, what is what? The Gorilla and I headed down to the beach for the day. Read, Slept, Read Slept. I am living the life. We rented Insomnia from the gift shop and ate Smacks and popcorn for dinner.

Peggy.

I woke up feeling rather sick, my stomach felt like it was slowly caving in on me and I am not too surprised if it actually did because I have been using and abusing it lately and I think it is finally fighting back. It was a little colder today than it was yesterday but it started to really warm up around 3. We literally sat on the beach all day. Moni and I played a few games of ping pong and a couple rounds of paddle board on the beach. Unfortunately Monica had to head home today so around 5:15. We headed down stairs for "Complementary-Welcome-To-The-Marriott" drinks and appetizers. Obviously Peggy was in charge of the event. She greeted us at the doors. We wandered around for little bit trying to find a nice couple to sit down and chat with, but rather than greeting us with open arms, we felt as though everyone was staring at us. Peggy eagerly wanted to introduce us to a few of her guests, as she called them. She told us that she introduces all of her guests to other guests so they can form long lasting friendships. She escorted us outside and sitting on the couches were a group of 5 younger boys from Georgetown University (I only say "younger' because they were younger than 50). We had noticed them on the beach today but decided that they were probably not the kind of people we would want to talk to when we realized that they were already sunbathing at 9:30 in the morning with tanning oil. I felt like we are a Penny Vrooman event, and Peggy was Penny and she was introducing us to our future husbands. The Gorilla, Pony and I awkwardly mingled with Peggy's guests. Peter, Pink shirt boy, earring boy, Oliver, the new Barcelpski (whom we later found out, is actually from Jordan but his family lives on a camp in Saudi Arabia but goes to Georgetown) are sophomores on their Spring Break. We exchanged questions like where were from, what friends we knew, where we were studying abroad and by favorite from "special" Peter, what type of SPF we used. Luckily, the Pony had to catch a flight which meant we ALL had to escort her up stairs. We were able to escape the awkward turtles. It was like when our moms used to be waiting outside Leawood Country club in their mini van's and the minute we shut the door, the awkward tension from fox trotting with Mr. Mc-sweaty-palms would finally be over. The Gorilla and I headed to dinner at this cute little restaurant on the beach next to the hotel for seafood salads. The view was incredible, it was like we were floating on the water, while sipping Coke Cola Lights. Yum Yum. We shnuggled up in the pull out couch to watch the Born Identity (love the Born movies) and then went to bed.

Sunday Is A Good Day To Do Nothing, Especially When You Are On A Beach In Gorgeous Weather.

Karp and Joj shnuggled in one bed, the Gorilla and the Pony in a barn together and Me, Monica, and Lime spooned in the king sized bed. We all woke up at different times but Momma Monica cooked everyone a scrumpt-didly-umptious breakfast. French toast with jam and peanut butter. We all gathered outside on our balcony (oh I forgot to mention, we have a balcony) for a nice family breakfast and then we gathered our belongings and headed down to the beach. Unfortunately Joj, Karp and Lime had to head back to their motherland today, so they packed up their bags and went on their way. We soaked up the sun all day. Monica and I ventured out to the game room and played a couple rounds of ping pong for our afternoon entertainment. We stupidly ordered in paella and salad from a Spanish restaurant for dinner. I don't say stupidly because it was a stupid idea to order Paella, we just paid a stupid amount of money for it. And after we ate it, all I could think was, man we paid a lot of money for that stuff. We are really trying to mesh in the our environment, thus activities like ordering in food and watching movies, rather than going out, were key. We all shnuggled up and watched Rataoullie on the TV (we have a TV with a DVD player...did I mention that) Typical, I feel asleep for a majority of the movie. We decided to form a cult and dress up/ wrap ourselves in the itchy extra blankets from the fold out couch and go star gazing. I was on the only one who saw a shooting star. I started to feel a little sick. The Paella didn't settle so well in the my stomach. Early bed time (at least for out standards)

You Know You Are the Worlds Luckiest Person, When You Get To Live Next To This. (See Below)

Sometimes the pretty-pony should not be released out into the wild (public) to make her own decisions, especially when the decision of going to the bathroom results in having to wait for two hours to get the next bus. We woke up this morning, after another good nights sleep and decided that going to the grocery to get breakfast was a much better idea than eating the "included" wrapper packed deal. With a large box of Smacks and a plate of apples in hand we headed down to the beach to get some coffee. Ordering coffee lead to ordering croissants, which lead to eating Smacks at the table while eating croissants and drinking coffee. The Pretty Pony finally arrived and we all hoped in a cab to Estepona. I wasn't really sure what to expect of Estepona because three days ago I thought we were staying in Malaga only to find out that we were staying in Marbella and then Estepona. Now I am not saying that the hostels that I have been staying at our gross or disgusting or unliveable (they have all been quite nice, even the trailer park) but when you are used to arriving at hostel up some alley way where the gift shop is a vending machine and your bathroom is open to the public, and you arrive at a Marriot with a security guard and gate with fountains and palm trees your world turns upside down and you butterflies in your stomach and ants in your pants and you think to yourself what a wonderful world. It was really like we had all been cut off from civilization for months and we had just stepped off the boat and elevators, a front lobby with sofa's and shiny marble, and free orange juice with ice where gold. We hit jackpot for sure. With Oo's and Ahh's flying out of our mouths we headed to our apartment. When we thought the front lobby was spectacular, we had no clue how good it could get. And it got good. You forget how much you appreciate the little things when they aren't around. A dishwasher (say goodbye to Gorilla hands and sponges) a microwave (say hello to popcorn) a coffee maker (say goodbye to espresso) a tea pot that plugs into the wall that heats up water, not just one but three TVs, a feather bed, two bath tubs, a double headed shower and best of all a WASHER AND A DRYER! See above. We received a welcome packet and a free bottle of nice wine. We were known to the hotel as the Johnson Family. Momma Isenberg was worried that because I am under the age of the 2 and the 1, that they wouldn't let me check in. It was a smart idea but putting the Gorilla in charge is not always so smart. After taking a tour of apartment, Peggy, the head of Marriot timeshare department, then called down and invited us, the Johnson Family, for a meet and greet. When I answered the phone she told me that I could bring my spouse down with me but I had to inform Peggy that it was me and three of my friends. Right after Peggy called, I received another call from the front desk informing me that I had a visitors wanting to talk to me. Visitors so soon! Sure enough, Lime, Joj, and Karp were able to make their way down and they were waiting in the lobby. The Gorilla and Pretty Pony headed to the grocery store to grab some grub for lunch and the rest of us wandered down to the beach to bathe in the rays. It was surprisingly much warmer than I expected and sun screen was imperative. Unfortunately, the only sun screen we could find was a 25 euro bottle in the gift shop, but we reasoned that 25 euros now is much better than skin cancer later. (such smart girls are we) We toasted and roasted in the sun all day. They had three out door pools but they were all freezing (aka not heated) but who needs a pool when you have the ocean. However, I think I lost the tip of my foot when it touched the water. It didn't take us long to figure out that most of the people staying the hotel were any where from 20 to 40 years older than us. Thats why I am the worlds luckiest person and I secretly love old people, just not topless ones. Yes there was a separate part for topless only. Around 5, it started to get a little cold (this is a typical feeling when the sun goes down), so we all headed up, showered up, cleaned up and got ready for dinner-up. We made our way into the port for dinner, 5 minute cab up the coast. It would probably seem like a bad idea to most people to head to an Italian restaurant in Spain when one is studying Italy and one eats Italian food everyday, however Peggy gave us a recommendation of a place to eat and we couldn't resist a recommendation from Peggy. I know that by the end of this trip Peggy and I are going to be best friends. I mean come on her name is Peggy. We went a restaurant called Picasso (Picasso was born in Malaga, Spain) What seemed like a bad idea (that being going to the Italian restaurant) was actually the best idea ever. We ordered greek salad, bbq pizza (like the kind at CPK), a cheese and veggie. Our original plan was to all get dinner together and then all go out together but every party has a pooper and thats why we invited the Pony, the Gorilla and Karp (party poopers!) Monica, Lime and I were brave souls and decided to check out the nightlife in Estepona, Spain. It took us just about the same amount of time to observe the age range at the hotel as it did for us to realize that we were also dealing with a different generation of clubers, dancers, and bar-ers. We asked our waiters were to go out, and they recommended this strip of bars just behind the restaurant. Ironically we ran into our waiters later in the evening and they kept buying us drinks. We were quite the bar hoppers, if we didn't like a song in one place, we would walk next door and check it out. My favorite bar was this little Irish pub filled with an older generation of people dancing to the classics (some like to call them the oldies). We did some finger snappin, some twisting and shouting and we even belted a little brown-eyed girl. I felt like we were at Bar-Mitzvah in an Irish pub. Monica obviously got into the dancing. She is just so good and I look like a fool next her. Well actually, at point in the evening my dancing was actually better than hers. All of the sudden (in the Irish pub) this older man, 50 years of age if I had to guess, started to dance with all of us, but then out of no where he must of thought the song got really exciting because he just started jumping and flopping his arms in the air. He was a machine! So naturally, Monica decided that in order to dance with him she needed to do the same thing. Lime and I backed off at this point. It looked like they were doing an ancient rain dance. Arms were flying, legs were jumping. It was quite the sight to see. I still can't figure out how the man didn't pass out because Monica was about to break a sweat, and he continued to dance like this even after Monica stopped. I forgot to mention the best part of the story, the man was wearing really dark designer sunglasses, so you couldn't see his eyes. It was all fun and games until a table or a chest (we couldn't figure it out) fell from the second floor onto a table of glasses. Luckily no one was hurt but thats when decided it was probably a good idea to leave. Around 2, we made our way back home exhausted from a superb day.

100 Posts from the Poster.

THIS IS MY 100th POST!
We woke up from a good nights slumber only find out that the "included" breakfast that was mentioned on their website, was actually not included unless you paid an extra 2.50. I am not sure about you but having to pay any extra is not something I would call included. Obviously we got it but after eating it I regretted every second of it. It was euro store croissants (and trust me I know everything that comes out of that euro store, you can't fool me), watered down O to the J and what I thought was going to be a big cup of coffee American style, ended up being a big cup of luke warm milk with a few droplets of coffee. Just slightly disappointed about this whole breakfast thing, the Gorilla and I decided to head to the water, to grab a cup of coffee on the beach. When all is said and done, you can't be disappointed when you just paid 2.50 for a terrible breakfast, when you can leave and say "hey lets go the beach". We had a few hours to kill before the besty of the bestest, Miss Monica Beth (she hates when people know her middle name...but spread the world it is BETH) was to meet us at the hostel. We finally purchased some new 2 in 1 shampoo conditioner combo after a month of thinking that we were both being sneaking about stealing our roommates hair products. I also bought a HUGE bottle of Johnson and Johnson's Baby Body Lotion, the kind that makes little kids butts smooth. Our apartment is really dry and my skin looks similar to an alligator with spots. Remind me if I ever start freaking out because I can't understand how and when and where I spent all of my money, calm me down and mention "lotion". The lotion that I bought was 5 euros (that is 10 American dollars for Johnson and Johnson's baby lotion!) But hey it was the cheapest one, and now I am going to be soft like a babies butt. Okay where was I. Monica finally called us and we rushed her into the hostel, so she could change into her bathing suit. We all felt a little disgusted looking at our pale, (mine rather giggly) bodies in the mirror but you only live once. Naturally after talking about how ugly we looked, we decided we should eat. Even when your feeling down, eating always makes you feel better. We headed down to the beach and attempted to lay out on a random hotel's beach chairs but that didn't last too long. 5 euros each when we could just lay out on our stolen towels, not worth it. We ordered chicken salads, "chips" (as Monica now calls them...but the rest of us who are not a proper, we can then french fries) and a huge pitcher of Sangria. The salads were delicious and come to think of it, it is the first "real" large salad that I have had since I have been here. AND THEY HAD KETCHUP. Oh how I miss ketchup. I think you can buy it here for you know 12 euro. I don't love it that much. It was not boob-sweat-hot-dying-to-jump-in-the-ocean-hot but it was potential sun tan weather, and it was warm enough for me. We all crashed on the salt and pepper beach until around 4:30, when decided that we should probably go back, take showers, and EAT AGAIN. I feel like 90 percent of my blogs are describing the food that I eat, but I am really good at it, so I feel I must tell you all. Monica actually got burnt but only half of her body. She was the only one remotely sitting in the sun during lunch but you can't escape the sun. We all got dressed and headed down stairs to get a recommendation for dinner. Not to complain because I feel like this entire post is me just complaining but we did indeed walk around the whole city in search of the restaurant that the little Argentinean woman swore to us that every local would know and that we had to go to get real Spanish food. We kept asking everyone where it was because we were lost and my little amount of spanish did not help. In circles and in circles we did go until I stopped a woman whom I thought might actually know English but like the old saying goes you can't judge a book by its cover. She knew less english than anyone we had already asked but she understood us enough and rather than trying to explain where to go she just made us follow her. There was no escaping her, she was on a mission. Around a few corners and down a few blocks we finally got to the "El Gallo" restaurant only to find out that it was closed. We would of never found it on our own probably because there was NO sign for the street that it was located on nor a sign with the restaurants name on it. So instead of being adventurous, we decided that the 5 euro greasy chinese buffet was a much better idea. and sure enough, it was. Stuffed, bloated, fat-pig are words to describe my feelings after dinner. We were going to go out but after our little dinner adventure we decided that eating lemon-ice in bed while watching a movie was a much better idea. I never hate a night in in my pj's eating food, watching a movie, with my two lovers. "Snatch" was the bed time story of choice. It didn't take me more than 15 minutes to fall asleep, so don't even worry. Tomorrow off to Estepona. Not sure if Lime, Joj and Karp are coming anymore. I got an anonymous call earlier today. It ended up being Lime and in 15 seconds she explained that she didn't know if they were going to be able to make it down anymore. Without little explanation, she was gone. We shall see.