I Dropped His Heart In The Middle Of The Street.

My pangram post card project was due today in book arts. Every one in my class had to make twelve of the same post cards using imagery and the letter press. For those of you unaware of what a pangram is, it is basically a sentence that uses every letter of the alphabet. I technically cheated and used two sentences but mine read "three zealous quaker men in tall socks with four puffing pipes stand behind these doors just waiting. You may choose doors 1 2 or 3 to find out whom your one true husband might be". In the postcard I cut three little doors and standing behind each door is a different zealous quaker man with four puffing pipes in tall socks. We all exchanged post cards and most them were crappy but we learned how to make boxes for them and they are pretty awesome. Carli came up to visit the Gorilla and I today. We couldn't let her come to Florence without taking her to Anna's so we obviously brought her there for lunch and then we were in the mood for some dried fruit so we took her to the market. Photog crit today, went splendid. I honestly learn something insane about my photog teacher each class and today she told us about an outer body experience she had at a cemetery. She said when she came back from the cemetery she realized that she had left part of herself there. I am not sure what to think of this hairy-mole-hippie-commune living-communist. Apertivo at Noir for Caz's last night. On our way there a man stopped me in the streets and said "excuse me ma'am you dropped something. I being the worlds most dropping person, actually thought I dropped something as he pointed to the ground, I replied with a "what", and he looks me in the eye and says "Oh it was my heart". Still confused as if I really dropped something, I finally realized what he said but then was weirded out when I saw him continue down the street with a girl. The Gorilla suggested it was probably his sister. Unfortunately he was not too attractive.  I left dinner feeling rather nauseous  but decided that a diet coke would settle my stomach but then I felt like I was an 80 year old man with heart burn. Had a slight bit of a freak out because I realized at 10 p.m. that I still had 8 paintings to do and still had to finish studying for Art History. First signs of the old freak out Allison started coming back. I was able to get it done but I watched myself head down that path and it was bad. Bad allison. 3 am bed time.

Oh Monday Monday.

This week starts the infamous mid term exams, and by that I mean the "do it the night before" midterm exams. The stress free life is REALLY FREEING. The most bizarre thing happened in Italian class today. My teacher was absent last Monday from class because she has been tutoring the French Ambassador's son or something like that. We have had another teacher named Lorenzo, who I secretly have a crush on ( I guess it is not so much a secret any more) Last class she told us that Lorenzo would come to class on Monday and review for the midterm with us. When we arrived at class today, Lorenzo was indeed there, but the whole review part was not. Rather than reviewing for the midterm, Lorenzo actually gave us the midterm. He said something Italian and we all responded with a confirming Si and then he told us we couldn't talk. You should of seen the look on the faces of my class mates. We all just looked at each other and then looked at him with titled heads very confused. A girl in my class asked if it was the real Midterm and he said yes and then right after a girl my class asked if this was the practice midterm and he said yes. So for an hour, we took the surprise midterm. I left the class not knowing if I had just turned in my midterm or if I had just turned in a practice midterm, either way I think I did just fine. It was just a little unexpected. We took Caz and the boys to my favorite place in the world for lunch, duh Anna's. Obviously the boys liked it but they would eat dirt and like it but by the look on Caz's face, I think she thoroughly enjoyed it. The boys said their goodbyes and headed to Rome for a couple of days. I had a painting pop quiz and by that I mean I had a painting mid term where we had to finish a still life in class. Not too shabby. For dinner Caz and I met up with Sam to the shhhhit Hunter visiting from AA, and Effie, Dara, Mir, and Jen. The bread was to die for but I took it easy on the eating tonight after my million nights of gluttony. I came home and did a little work. Early bed time tonight, exhausted

pst frm fbrry twnty ffth tw thsnd ght.

(february 25, 2008) ...a monday

Sunday Is A Good Day To Do Nothing.

Worked very hard today to finish all of my work but even though I worked really hard, I didn't get all too much completed. This weekend I was a tourist in my own city and I found myself saying "this is my first time" to a lot of things, and I am so glad that my visitors came. Caz I know you are going to read this blog and I am sorry I didn't get you your journal before you left but expect the best one upon arrival at the 1210 Cambridge Court. Dinner at Erica and Sara's awarded itself to another night of feeling like my belly button was going to become a geyser like the one at Yellowstone, and that food was going to start oozying out of my ears. After eating scrumptious meatballs, pesto pasta, angel haired pasta, green beans, salad and bruschetta followed by nutella with bananas and biscotti's I fell into a food como and by that I mean we were all spooning on the couch and I zoinked out and woke up only to find that everyone else had already gotten up from the couch and I hadn't even noticed. My stomach seriously has grow out to different proportions that I didn't even know was possible. This really isn't good when I am expecting to be sleeping on the beach in just a couple of days in a two piece. I came home and went straight to bed. After too many nights and by too many I really two many nights of 4:00 am returns followed by 9:30 wake up calls, my body was pretty much shot. The Gorilla returned dumbfounded from Rome, and she fell right asleep, I came home, decided it was only appropriate to draw pictures of myself rolling around inside myself because I literally ate the world this weekend (gross) but in all seriousness, I think I am pregnant, Ji and Ji, you are now grandparent to a food baby.

Postness from Sunday February TWENTY fooorth twoo thoousand and aight.

poop goes the pigeon.

when michigan meets michigan in florence great things happen.

        

His Butt Looks Like That.

For some bizarre, unexplainable reason, I was not able to sleep in this morning. I think it was because I knew that I needed to get work done today in order to have another wonderful time with my friends. While I might be "care free" Allison, I can't help my anxiety dreams, they just happen. I worked on my painting mid-term and then met up with the crew for brunch (it was actually lunch, but I didn't eat breakfast yet today so it counted as both) before our educational and cultural afternoon. After lunch we headed to the Academia to the see the worlds most well known statue, the real deal, big man on campus, marble tukas, David. Caz and I decided that we didn't need some butchered english accent telling us about a painting or a sculpture and we decided to just use our eyes. They seemed to work a lot better. We romantically walked around the Academia together, telling each other different things that interested us. There are no words other than "Holy Shit" to explain Michaelangelo's fine creation. While the fake David stands in the Piazza de Signoria, and I have seen a dozen times, something about being in an inclosed room with nothing else around, made this marble spectacle truly incredible. Not sure if the David's millimeter pee pee had been jew-ified but Rose confirmed later that yes indeed Davids shlong is an uncircumcised one. And I am not going to lie in the least but he has one nice butt. After the Academia, I came back to finish the unfinished. For dinner, we headed to the infamous Il Latini, the restaurant where the Gorilla and I attempted to go to for her birthday only to discover on our way out that it was closed on Mondays, but it was not closed today. I didn't really understand the concept of how the restaurant worked until I got there. I was told that you had to wait outside and that the restaurant chooses whom they allow in. They only have two seating times for dinner, one at 7:30 and one at 10:30, so if you wanted a 9:15 dinner forget about it. Obviously Erica made reservations. I think I am going to hire Erica as my personal assistant to organize my life because she is actually a 20 year old with a mind like a 35 year old hip mother that just knows how to do everything whose mind is actually synced with ical. It is just incredible. I wish I was that organized and knew how to plan things like she does. Back off JLo Erica Levin is true wedding planner. As my dear friends would say....I love you Ricky Levi. So this Il Latini is located pretty close to the train station on a small road. I never seen something like it before, but people were gathered outside the restaurant in a mass huddle, pushing to try to get in. Lucky Ricky made a reservation because we didn't have to stand outside too long before they called our name. The people with reservations are allowed to enter first. Me, Caz, Kulick, Rose, Ricky and Sara gathered around a rather small table for six and waited for our waiter. Sitting on our table were two bottles of water and not just a bottle of wine but I would say a jug of wine. I am not sure how it all happened but within just a matter of time our table was filled with food. All of the sudden our waiter started bring out bruschetta and then bread and olive oil, then chicken pate, then brushutto, then caprese salads. This was just the appetizers. i was pretty much content at the end of our appetizers but I thought last night my stomach reached a new capacity, lets just say we had 4 more courses after this one. It is just too difficult to watch some of the worlds most delicious food sit right in front of your face and not be in the least bit tempted to chow down. For the second course we had three huge pasta dishes, a pesto and penne, a noodle and meatball and "little dishrag" noodles with boar sauce. I didn't even know I liked boars sauce but it was fabulous. It was served on a noodle that can be translated as "little dishrags" because they are cut with a knife that give them serrated edges. Following our pasta, came three kinds of breaded soup: a veggie, a tomato, and a bean soup. Next came the meats. From my past experience with five course meals, the meats have always been really freaky and unappetizing but I was feeling a little adventurous tonight and for some reason, even though I was pretty much stuffed, I decided to try them all. Little Bunny Foo Foo, I am sorry but I tried your cousin. Don't worry I won't be doing it again because you are much nicer to look at than to eat. Disturbing but true. Three glasses of wine later, three courses down, we were served potatoes and beans. And then four glasses of wine later, four courses down came the first portion of the dessert. Presented in a circle of fun, 6 different desserts filled our table. In the words of Rose of Michael to the Bloom, one of them "Jiggled like his butt". Normal human beings do not say that when talking about flan but then again Rose of Michael to the Bloom is not really a normal human being. We celebrated Kulicks birthday, and the waiter brought out ice cream topped with a firework. It was not just your average candle, it was actually a firework. We sang the H-to the appy B-to the day song and Rose captured a classic photo of triple chinned Kulick that just made me giggle out loud. Don't worry Kulick wasn't the only with a triple chin, we were all supporting the turkey gobbler. I thought we were done after this and I am sure you would think the same thing but guess again. More kept coming. We were served dessert wine (which makes the fav list next to the Bellini) and then their famous biscotti's and wine. I wore a dress tonight but if I had been wearing jeans, I probably would of just taken them off or they would of probably just ripped off because I was so full. I pulled my leggings down a little because they were getting to be uncomfortable. At this point it was 10:30. We all looked a each other and sighed. The waiter just had to top off the evening with strong shots of lemon cello. And th-th- th-that's All Folks. We wobbled back to Ricky's and Sara to attempt to prepare for the game (pre-game) because the night was still young, but I didn't do so good at preparing for the game because I thought I might ralph up a bakery, and farm. Rather loud people filled Ricky and Sara's apartment and I think Sara and I had a mental connection that led to visions such as a shot guns, awkward smiles, and the thoughts of running away. Ricky and Sara took us to their favorite "Space Electronica". I had many doubts about this place because I was told my numerous people to never step foot there but the fact the Ricky loved it let me know that it had to be pretty good. Rose decided to stay in because not remembering last night put a slight damper on his day and I am not sure he was as prepared for an Italian spring break as he thought he would be. Me, Kulick, Caz, Ricky, Sara, Buff Back bend-over-Brian and Ugly Adam dominated the dance floor. We ran into Susan T, Dana P and Port at the club. The club is exactly what you would think of a club with the name of Space Electronica. So much happened on there that is nearly impossible to explain. I saw a gay boy and his lesbi friend get pulled out of the girls bathroom with a one hand grab, I saw Caz fall in love with an Italian and dance the whole night with him (Caz..highly entertaining) I experienced Robyn "I am out of mind" O do a back bend while I was dancing with her and I was successfully able to imitate Sara and Buff-bend-over-backwards Brian's dance moves. It was incredible and I would return in a heart beat.
Another late night early morning return.

.Moocha seh Havah deh Peacheh seh.

post from february 23, on a saturday in the year of two thow sand and otto.

A Friday and In Florence. Now How Nice Is That To Say.

I woke up in my own bed this morning and MAN it felt good. This weekend I am staying here to host the worlds finest business men and one woman. Hailing from across the world (Hail to the those victors), my dear friends Caz, Kulick, and economical "put your food in your pants" Michael, the Rose of all Rosenbloom's are coming to Florence for their spring break. I woke up rather early to get some work done before they came because I have midterms next week and even though I am "do-little and get it done" Allison this semester, I had the "get it done" portion to do this weekend. As I walking over to Erica's, I just happen to see DP, Susan T, and Port walking down my street (not the typical jew crew camp chi connection but rather a jew crew chi-o connection) Then I turned the corner and standing outside a small little wine shop was Rose and Kulick. The Michigan crew finally arrived and we headed to the infamous "Oil Shoppe" that everyone and their mothers have been raving about to me for weeks. I know there are other sandwich places in this city but there ain't nothing like Anna's and I have just been a little nervous to venture our for fear I might spend my money on something that is just not as scrumptious. Well the rumor was true, it was quite a tasty little booger. I split a "chunky chicken" and meat ball sandwich with Sara. This lunch started off the "eat so much you can't breath trend". I seriously think I stretched my stomach to new proportions this weekend and that this not so good when I am expected to be wearing a bathing suit next weekend for my spring break extravaganza in Malaga Spain. The weather here has really perked up and today was just the sunniest and friendliest day. After lunch it was imperative to get gelato. Vorre un gelato cono con menta e cafe, 2 euro. We headed to the Ponte Vecchio to show our visitors the world most splendid view. The fun kinda ended with a huge pigeon decided to sit on top of the ledge over Sara's head and take not just a poop, but a dump on her. At the time we all tried to convince Sara that it wasn't that bad but now that I think about it, it was actually disgusting. We didn't have an archeological dig in our agenda for the day but on a our way home, we took a little side tour to do some excavations on the cobble stones of Florence. Out of the pure excitement of having my friends in town I decided to play with my rings, moving them back and forth from hand to hand when all of the sudden one of my rings hit a gust of wind and flew through the air into a deep crevice of a cobble stone. This is when the archeological excavation began. Because he was now in Europe, Kulick thought that he could be a god and or Hercules and lift a stone from the ground in order to get my ring out. With all of his might he successfully failed but luckily I had the worlds most prepared human being standing right next to me and Erica decided to be a little more realistic and hand me a pin. I wasn't going to let my ring my mother gave me stay in Florence forever, so naturally, I sat on the ground and began the great dig. People started to gather around the site, wondering what the heck I was doing. 5 minutes later, I held the jewel in my hand and the rest was history. Everyone went back to Erica's and Sara's for a little siesta and I headed to the art school to "get it done". Around 6:45 everyone came over to enjoy some bubbly on my terrace over looking the Duomo. Multiple times this weekend I found myself just thinking WOW, I am the worlds luckiest person. The weather was perfect, stars were hanging in the sky, champagne was in our glasses and we were all together, what more could you want. 5 bottles later, we headed to another top notch restaurant for dinner. Aqua el Due, located on the street of Via del Aqua, is owned by the same family as the "American Brunch" restaurant. Erica and I split the worlds most delicious balsamic steak that actually just caused me to drool while I am typing this. Two dessert plates later, and completely stuffed to the brim we headed back home for a little preparation before the game. In the collegiate world, we call this pre-game. We headed to a club called Central Park that is actually located on the out of the outskirts of the park, but it would be weird to call it "outskirts park", thus it is called Central Park . The club was divided into three different rooms. One room for the loungers, another from the Americans and another one for the Italians. The divide is quite noticeable and the Italian style of dancing is more like body thrust that could give some one a migraine while the American style of dancing is more like making babies on the dance floor that could actually give someone a baby. The only thing about this divide is that it is really not that divided because the Italian men seem to be more interested in making babies than having migraines, so there seemed to be many more Italians on the American side rather than Americans on the Italian side. Caz and I felt like putting on our Italian man mentality (but without the same intentions) and venture to the Italian dance floor. I hate to make this divide seem so strong but I can only speak the truth. I only the speak the truth. Caz and I jumped into the middle into the middle of the dance floor and all of the sudden I realized my arms were imitating the man next to who was probably on an acid trip, even though I have no idea what one of those feels like his eyes were slightly closed and he was workin it. Now that I think about it, maybe he wasn't on an acid trip because else was dancing that way, but Caz and I thought it was only appropriate to freakishly move around hands around our body like a snake. I met a stinky Italian who had crooked teeth and Caz met a blonde stallion. However we got a little tired after a while and came back to the American dance floor do a little solja boy dancin. I think Caz and I lost our feet at Central Park because we were dancing fools. Sara got freaky with buff-back-bender-Brian and we just made fun of her. Kulick was like Superman and saved us from all of the creepers. It is an interesting phenomena this whole Italian aggressiveness. I am minding my own business, dancing with my friends, and I just don't think it is so nice to come up behind and grab my stomach or touch my butt, it is creepy. Every time one of us would get heckled by the hecklers we would yell for Kulick, aka he was all of our boyfriends. Rose must have been so excited to be in Italy, that he forgot to remember the evening. Around 3:45 we decided it was appropriate to head home. Indeed it was. The rest of the girls that I was with probably still think I am crazy but regardless of where we are I REFUSE TO TAKE A CAB. God gave me legs, God made florence a small city and it just doesn't make sense to me. I hurdled up the boys and told them that they could get 2 sandwiches at a cafe for the price of one cab ride, when this city is beautiful, why not take a walk. I will be the first to admit that it was a rather far walk, but I enjoyed every second of it, walking down the street arm in arm with Rose and he word vomited the most random things. He just really wanted pizza. I discovered one trick to this whole explanation as to why Italians are much thinner than Americans and it is because they don't have "late night" pizza places on every corner and it is actually impossible to buy any kind of snack food past 11. I like that idea, but Michael sure did not. 4:30 bed time but what a great day, what a great night, with great friends, great food, and great times. It is just great to be great. You can call me the Al-lison the Great!

postness from the friday of february in the day of 22 in the year of 2008

Catch Up For the Post Up.

As I am sure many of you have noticed (actually Mom you are probably the only one still reading this, so this one is for you) that my postings are rather "ritardo" as they would say in Italy or delayed as they would say in a not so offensive way back in the States. So this week past is going to be similar to VHI's BEST WEEK EVER and I am going to give you the high lights from everyday so that I can finally keep you updated on a day to day basis, not a week behind.

MON to the Day:
Finished pimp faces portrait.

TUES to the Day:
Obviously I didn't do my photo project until the day it was due. And by that I mean it was due today. Double exposures for this project. Who knew I would turn "feminist-girls-gone-wild" (holly hughes, would love this work) and go all nudy artsy and take pictures of my own hoo has and then double expose them with interesting textures. They turned out very interesting, but I am not so sure my mother, my father and or my grandparents would be too happy if I posted these ones. But maybe next time.

WEDNES to the Day:
I finished watching the "Ignorant Fairy" in Italian lab, and the wife whose husband died in an action packed car crash, the same husband who had an secret lover, ended up falling in love for the gay man, they kissed but then in the end we find out that she has aids. Quite the interesting fairy tale if you ask me. Chocolate tasting after class and then apertivo.  A homeless man put his arm around me and that when I decided it was time to go home.  

THURS to the Day:
I discovered a new part of town today. It is finally getting warmer here, and I was even getting a little shweaty in my pits. I had to take one more role of film today and decided that just in case my hippie-lovin-hairymole-that-I-just-discovered-was a-former-communist-who-lived-in-a-hippie-commune didn't like my porn star pics (they are vulgar, its just weird developing pictures of your own chest and then having the one boy in your class, whom you happen to know since 7th grade but haven't seem since, is developing right next to you and then tells you that girls should remain hairless from their eye brows down..it just gets awkward) After book arts, I grabbed a bite to eat with Sara and Erica at this fabulous "american brunch" resuturant. It is actually called American Brunch on the outside. Egg white omelet, american coffee, and ketchup pretty much changed my life. I grabbed my camera and just wandered the streets for a good three hours, turning left or right without reason. I discovered a new street, where I collected mental photographs of men play chess in the sun outside a park. Shasty-pants ("what up bitches" 's new name) cooked up an Italian suprise for family dinner. Worked in the photog lab until 11, then home to bed.

THIS POSTEDNESS IS FROM THE WEEKNESS OF 17 THRU THE 21 OF FEBRUARY.

sunday is a good day to do nothing.

We took the 8:21 train to Milan and then the 12:35 train from Milan to Florence, arriving in Florence at 4:15.  The Gorilla was in a rather vicious/very mean Gorilla mood, and I was just still sick, so I tried to avoid the Gorilla as much as possible for fear should would break loose from her cage and have a Gorilla attack.  I came home, unpacked and then headed to the Asian market to pick up some grub for dinner.  Salad, with grilled chicken, canned corn, canned green beans, and canned garbanzo beans with some sprinkles of parmesan, topped with balsamic vinegar with a side of water and an Asian pear for dessert.  I tried to make it to bed early tonight because I just want to get over this cold, but it doesn't seem to be going so well.  Off to bed, ciao ciao! 

Like I said, Sunday is a good day to do nothing.

a land for gnomes and yodelers alike.

miss swiss.

while he was taking the picture, she was taking the picture and then I took a picture of the picture. and all the while, picasso watched.

just looking.

how do you really tell someone you love them?

jewish american princesses for sale. only 50 francs.

     

Bottom line: Hearts should never be taken to a cheese grater.

"My Blueberry Nights"- directed by Wong Kar Wai, starring Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Rachel Weisz and a surprise casting of Norah Jones. (killer cast) Even though 90% of the time Natalie Portman's voice makes me want to gouge my eyes out, she did make quite an impressive and perfect southern gambling fool. I am not going to tell you anything about the film, other than to go see it because I didn't know anything about it before and it made it that much more enjoyable. Oh wait. I can't hold myself back, and all I have to say is keep all keys you have, whether they were lost and you found them, someone gave them to you or whatever the case maybe because rather than locking or closing a door forever, you may want to revisit that place, or the person again. At first I thought I was going to be having an ultra romantic, post-valentines day, evening with the Gorilla because we were the only people in the theatre but thank goodness three other people showed up or else a. I didn't know if they would still show the film for only two. b. my career as a world traveling art-directing writer photographer designer would be shot and all hopes of ever finding my one true husband would have gone out the window. The paparazzi might get a hold of this story and head lines would scream "Allison Isenberg goes to the movies with A GORILLA" and the rest would history. (random stream of thought...its getting late...give me a little credit) Anyhoo. I have never been more terrified in my entire life by a preview but before the film started a short clip of a human hand taking a human heart to a cheese grater appeared on the screen. For a minute this madness went on, I almost died and threw up all in one sitting. The punch line for the commercial was obviously in German and clearly I had no clue what it said. I just can't even imagine what they would say. I am not sure there is any analogy you could come up with that would be like taking your heart to a cheese grater. The Swiss are sure messed up. This morning we woke up around 9:30 a.m. to catch our free morning breakfast. I didn't think it was possible but the couple sitting in front of me brewed up the worlds most nauseating breakfast concoction that almost made me not want to eat anymore and that is really hard to do. Bread dipped in yogurt with cheese and bologna is not what I call a delicious breakfast. After the couple scarfed down their own prepared barf, the man, with his two hands did a magic trick and split an apple in half. It was incredible. I tried to repeat the same task and really hurt myself. Maybe I have to start eating yogurt-cheese-bologna toast to do that type of trick but it is really not worth killing my insides to do such a thing. We decided to make jelly sandwiches for lunch after looking into the huge holes in our wallets. We were going to go shnuggle back up in our warm beds after breakfast but we decided we didn't want to miss the Saturday morning market. Completely different from the one in Barcelona, and more similar to the farmers market back home, tents lined the river on the new and old side with little stands selling fruits and veggies, cheese and flowers. We taste tested real dried bananas without any added sugars. After being threatened to have my baby hands chopped off at the market back in Florence, I am a little terrified to sample anything. We went window shopping and found the Gorilla a new pari of glasses. She is now officially European. When then made our way to the Picasso museum but of course there was an adventure in trying to go. The first attempt, I was 2 francs short, so we had to go to an ATM but the first ATM would only let you with drawl 50 francs and not that I was worried I wouldn't be able to spend it all, I thought that I should really try to save my money when in less than 24 hours my dream world of 1 to 1.2 vanishes and my bank account has to start thinking in euros again. We went to another ATM and then back to the Picasso museum. Luckily the city is really small so it wasn't as big of a shlep as it sounds. The Picasso museum was not what I expected it to be like at all but rather than rooms filled with his work, it was more focused on the documentation of Piscasso's life in his studio with this wife, sitting around the time kitchen table with his children, and intimate shots with his dog, through the photographic lens of Picasso's good friend, David Douglas Duncan. The pictures truly made Picasso's life come to life. It was incredible. See photogs above. Both Pablo and his wife look like human paintings. They were just born such interesting and uniquely beautiful people. In every photo Duncan was able to capture the small details of their lives. I bought a poster. Inspired and in an artsy, self-reflecting mood, we bought a bag of chestnuts and sat along the water to watch the swans and geese make war with each other. This city is so magical. We headed back home for our jelly sandwiches and apples for lunch in the room and then made our way back to our new found hot spot (aka we came here yesterday) for coffee at a place called Sjug, or Hug located right on the lake. For dinner, we headed over to the new side of town for a delicious Asian delight and then came back to the hostel to soak up a little television. Not that I even want a television in my apartment and am actually pleased that we don't have one but tonight I was craving just a little trashy television. The Gorilla and I sat in front of the lobby television watching 101 hottest celebs in German for almost an hour. One thing I have yet to understand is how the German language has so many consonants in one word. In our hot chocolate yesterday, chocolate was spelled with an X. Pretending like we understood every word the dub-over voice was saying, we sat there until we decided that we should probably allow the man who was waiting in the lobby for us to finally leave so he could watch the show he wanted to. Early bed time because early bedtimes are just the greatest. Why not?

if yodelers and gnomes built a city, it would be called luzern.

We set our alarms for 8:30 a.m. because our hostel offered an included breakfast and regardless of how I felt, I wasn't going to miss out on an opportunity to eat free food. Yogurt, corn flakes, toast with jam, coffee, OJ and an after breakfast tea was just what I needed to go into a good food como and right after breakfast we headed back upstairs to sleep in. Luzern is a very small city and is divided in half by a lake. The "newside" of the city is on one side of the river and the "oldside" on the other. We were staying on the old. It was very cold today but luckily I bundled up in my long underwear, gloves and wrapped my scarf around my entire face like gas mask. We found out that the exchange rate was 1 to 1.2 which almost means that the U.S. dollar has value but not really but hey it is better than the euro. The Gorilla and I were so excited about actually having our money worth almost something that we decided to go window shopping and actually go into stores, where as back in Italy we just lust over the shoes but never dream of walking in. Here we didn't feel so bad. After walking the streets and hiking the ancient wall that lined a portion of the old city with nine towers, we stopped to grab a bite to eat a resturant called Jazz "some german world I can't remember". We later found out that it was actually a hoppin' place to go in the evenings. We ventured out to the newside of town for a bit, aimlessly walking, just to get a feel for the city. We were going to head to a museum but decided to wait until tomorrow when were a little more perky. We stopped in a cafe right on the water to sip real hot coco and draw pretty pictures and write about our lives. Because we have been on the go so much, we were both in a little funk today. Pretty much sick and the Gorilla pretty much fried, we decided that this weekend was going to be a "do nothing but be happy" kind of a deal. For dinner we went to a fabulous Indian resturant recommeneded to us by a tourist hand book. Ironically, we had walked past the restuarant earlier in the day I go "Ugh, that looks disgusting". They had these pictures of the food in the window that looked like they had taken with a baby tykes camera...all blurry and narsty colored. The picture did not do them any justice. With a little nudge from the Gorilla (she eats Gorilla food so she is used to all sorts of concoctions) I ordered a fabulous chicken curry and it was one of the best meals I have had so far. Tonight we are going to a bar called Bouraboki where you go and watch films and then discuss the film with others at a bar inside the theatre. I think we are going to see "My Blueberry Nights" but I will let you know!

post from the friz-day of fridayness in the month of feb-u on the diz-ay

black coats of death, and swiss train rides.

Pretty much dead, I forced myself out of bed this morning to book arts. It was a true sign that I wasn't feeling good because I didn't even want to go to book arts and that never happens. The Gorilla and I skipped photog this afternoon so we could make the 12:15 train to Milan that would then take us to Luzern, Switzerland. You might be asking why Luzern? Well I can't really tell you why exactly. I just found it, it looked beautiful, we wanted to go to Switzerland, so why not? The minute I sat on the train, I didn't do a simple narco narco, no, I completely crashed. I put my jacket over my head so the sun wouldn't burn my eye balls out. The Gorilla did a reenactment of it tonight and I looked like a black ghost wobbling drunk from side to side. We changed trains in Milan and then for four more hours I fell right asleep, however this time I could sprawl my body across two seats. A lady thought I was dead but I felt more like I was already dead in a coffin 10 feet under chilling there for years. I sounded like an old woman with a 100 year smokers cough, and looked like I had a faucet for a nose. The entire train ride (that part that I was consciously awake for) I thought how wonderful it would be to sleep in my parents bed and sip on my momma's delicious chicken noodle soup that cures all sicknesses. But then reality hit, and the thought that I was going to be in Switzerland cheered me up. We got to Luzern around 7:30 p.m. After two rather adventurous traveling extravaganzas, we had learned our lessons and decided to print out correct detailed instructions on how to get to our hostel. 2 bridges down and across the lake was our little "tourist hotel" (that was the name of it). We checked in with Mr. Eye Patch (the friendliest eye patched man I have ever met) and dropped our stuff off in our room. He gave us a four person room, not on accident, it was all they had available, but this time we were not expecting any other guests to stay with us, we just had a big room to ourselves (by big, don't go crazy with your imagination, it was just bigger than a trailer park, and spacious). We walked down the street to find something to eat at this grocery store/department/mini inferno, recommended to us by Mr. Patch at the front desk. We checked out the restaurant on the third floor but decided that a roll and salad that I had been sitting out all day long was not what we were really in the mood more. Luckily, this place literally had everything from furniture to diapers to crystal to canned tuna to scarves. You name it, they had it. We decided that the first floor grocery store might be more appealing. We scavenged the entire store trying to think of some kind of concoction we could throw together without a kitchen. We ended up buying tortillas and microwave ramen noodle bowls, a banana, a grapefruit with a side of peanut m and m's. Mr. Patch let us use the microwave. After our quite scrumptious and oh so nutritious dinner we dragged our bodies back up stairs and went straight to bed. Ira Glass sang me a sweet tune goodnight, and This American Life cradled into a deep slumber

Soaps and Sickness.

Sad day in Mudville. Monica had to leave extremely early this morning. After not seeing each other for 5 and a half months, 3 nights was just not enough. Luckily, I get to see her again in two weeks for spring break in Malaga. I had another Italian quiz and I think I did pretty good. We are studying the definite and indefinite articles and it is insane how everything is either masculine or feminine. Even table is feminine. Does a table have a vagina? In Italian lab today, we watched an Italian film translated as "The Ignorant Fairy" aka an Italian Soap Opera Film. It was about a woman whose husband died by getting hit by a car in an action packed triple side-swipe-accident. I know it isn't funny, but I couldn't help but laugh when it happened because it was so over dramatized that it was impossible to show any sympathy. After the funeral, the wife goes through their house to get rid of his belongings, and she comes across a painting that is signed on the back "Ignorant Fairy". The wife spends a portion of the film, on a mission to find this "Ignorant Fairy" only to discover that her husband was not only having an affair with another but rather an affair with another man. We haven't finished the rest but I will let you know how it all plays out. To be honest I fell I sleep in parts of it because my body is finally getting back at me for using and abusing it. I am definitely sick. At the end of class, I felt like I was going to faint. Unfortunate Emily made chicken and egg plant parmesan for dinner. It was actually delicious and it even more wonderful that I didn't have to cook. Despite the chills running up and down my spine and despite my runny nose and hacking cough, gelato still sounded amazing. Without shame or regret the Gorilla and I walked in the freezing cold in our sweatpants and no bras in search of gelato and lets just say we didn't return empty handed. Early bed time but not so early sleep time. Too much to do, too many people to talk to. Tomorrow I am off to Lucern Switzerland to spend a romantic Valentines day weekend with none other....the Gorilla.

post from the wednesday of wednesday-ness in the month of feb on the date of 13th in the year of the 2 and thousand of 8-ness.

When Life Gives You Cucumbers, Make Pretty Pictures.

A little groggy from the night before, I headed to book arts where I learned how to make four different Japanese style bound books. I met monica and Crazy Friend for lunch and obviously I introduced them to my favorite place in the world, Anna's. They enjoyed it, but not as much as I do! We headed to the open market to buy food for 20 people because tonight we decided it would be fun to cook a large feast in honor of Monica's arrival and invite friends to the Ginori to dine and wine. 6 eggplants, 6 zucchinis, 12 mushrooms, 10 tomatoes, 5 sweet potatoes, 1 large loaf of bread, 2 red onions, 1 clove of garlic and a kilogram of meat later, we headed home to drop off our purchases. I introduced the girls to one of my newest favorite and delicious gelatoria discoveries. Overly satisfied from our afternoon treat, I took the girls on a little walk around town. About 5 minutes into our stroll, Monica looked at me and goes "Is that Courtney - - y e r?" Sitting on the steps of the Duomo (aka her second home) was indeed our long lost soccer playing, bible thumping friend Courtney - - y e r. She moved away in middle school and we hadn't seen her in 6 years. She is studying in Florence this semester, what a small world. Photog critique today with the hairy-hippie-mole-face. She loved the project and I hated most peoples work. With one girls project, I thought I was back at Michigan where the toilets don't flush and the bullshit keeps rising. However, hairy-mole, knew better and called that stank out. While I was in class, Monica worked the kitchen, making scrumptious bologanese sauce, dicing potatoes, and stirring pasta. I came home and set the table and then the Ginori house became quite the hoppin place. 16 of us gathered around our dining room table to talk about our weekend adventures, catch up on life and just enjoy the fact that we were all in Italy together. Friends. Food. Fun. Stuffed from dinner, Monica, the Gorilla, Unfortunate Emily and I decided that going to Paul's to hangout was much more exciting than getting freaky to Tuesday night Beatles cover band music. We discovered that cucumbers are delicious and worthless pens are good for playing pick up sticks. Monica and the Gorilla decided to draw a picture my future husband, and from the crystal ball it looks as though he might be an elf, with three curly hairs, a peg leg and skinny tummy. I can't wait! When life give you lemons, make lemonade or when life gives you cucumbers make pretty pictures.

P.S. I forgot to mention that this time when I went to the market, I was threatened to have my baby hands chopped off, however one lady asked me if I was going to eat all of my friends. From prey to predator in just one week. Beware of that market I tell you.

post from the tuesday the twelfth of february in the year to to to aight.

Milk Money.

Monica and Crazy Friend went off to Pisa and Lucca while I turned in my first Art History paper. I starting painting a portrait of a girl in my class today. It is quite unfortunate, but she has terrible achne that takes over her face and I had a rather difficult time deciding whether or not to include the blotches/patches of pimples in the painting. For her sake and mine, I left them out and used a more abstract approach, using thick layers of paint instead. Hopefully it turns out okay. After class I headed home to get ready for the evening. I have literally been on the go non-stop and as of now it looks as though I am not reaching for the breaks for a very long. Monica, Crazy Friend and the Gorilla and I headed down the Arno to experience our first true Italian apertivo. (I think I mentioned the whole concept of apertivo, but basically it means "apatizer" time here and most restuarants offer it before they either turn into a club for the night or before they take reservations for dinner) For just 9 euro, they offered us a wide array of cheeses, breads, pastas and many miny finger foods. The deal was that we had to order a drink and then we could hit up the line as much as we wanted. Mojitos all around. We stuffed our stomachs and then headed back home to prepare for my first night out at the the infamous Yab club. Down the street and over a couple of blocks houses the Monday night hot spot where all the local Italian men thrive and the American girls get all japped out for a night of expensive drinks and wild dancing. Obviously, we couldn't miss out on the Monday night scene (clearly, I am always in the scene..puke puke..yeah right, I think this is actually my first Monday night out in my college career. Judge all you want, I am not afraid of my own loserness) Our friend Jordan (who joined us for the evening) got a fb message telling him that if we said we knew Fabio we would be able to cut the lines and get right in. Indeed we did know Fabio and we walked right in. We were forced to check our coats. Monica and I even tried to avoid the extra tariff by putting my coat inside of hers but the bitch bouncer was no dummy. Crazy Girl ran off to see her friends from high school and Monica, Paul, Jordan and I formed our own dance squad and pop lock and dropped it, while ghetto fabulous men who actually knew how to dance showed off their moves. All of the sudden, in the mist of "lettin' my shoulda lean', a posse of big men forced the crowd back and three women wearing very little started stripping what remained of the very little. It was extremely bizzare. Monica and I decided it would be the perfect time to head to the ladies room to freshen up. We ran into yet another jew-crew-camp chi connector, who was visiting for the night from Rome. Around 2 a.m., I was getting pretty exhausted so I convinced the troops it was a good idea to head home. They have a system at these types of places where they give you a punch card when you enter the club and every time you order a drink they punch it and then you have to check out at the end of the evening. We didn't order any drinks but we still had to check out. We waited in line for 10 minutes to find out that our evening of no drinks was still going to cost us 14 euro. Miss Card Check-Out Lady proceeded to tell us as we are paying and fighting about the price, that we could of gotten a free drink. Do you know what I say to that baloney! I quit. No more scene for me! That forever solitified my desire to EVER follow the mass trend of Monday Yab. Regardless what you say 14 euro (almost 28 dollars) for a coat check is not worth it, when I can enjoy a glass of wine at a nice bar and actually hear my friends speak, not WHAT followed by WHAT) I now that I think about it, the money was probably used to pay the strippers that I didn't even ask for. Despite coughing up my milk money to see some hoo ha's, I had a wonderful time with Monica and in the end that was all that mattered. Bed Time.

posted in the year 2008 in the month of february in the day of 11.

THE BEST DAY EVER (depends how you see the world. is the glass half full or half empty..you tell me)

I am not sure how I get so unlucky and then get re-paid with more luck than I actually deserve, but damn I am a lucky girl. I woke up from another delightful nights slumber with my minki pinki next to me. We picked up falafuls to go and headed to the port to sit in the sun and to eat our lunch. The port of Barcelona overlooks the ocean and rows and rows of large fishing boats. Hundreds of fat unwanted fish gather at the edge of the port and people gather around (especially on sundays) to sit by the water, to feed some fish, and those romantics snuggle in each others arms. The five us, just plopped in the sun, and went to town on our delicious falafuls. Before we knew it, it was already 3:30 and we realized we better head back to the residenica to pack up and give our goodbyes to our favorite little barcelonean creatures. Three hugs, three kisses and three goodbyes, the Gorilla and I walked down the illuminated hallway to catch a cab to the bus station. We successfully made it on the bus to the airport and we successfully made it to the airport. However, "apparently" if you are American, you can't check in online (which we did we just didn't print our boarding passes, because on the way there, we checked in online, printed out our boarding passes and were the first on the plane) but "apparently" doesn't won't fly leaving Barcelona. We arrived an hour before the flight and thinking that since we checked in online we could just get to the ticket counter and pick up our tickets. Easy as pie. Well, yeah no. We were told that we would have to pay 4 euro to get a new ticket because Americans weren't allowed to check in online. I still don't understand. We were directed to stand in another line to retrieve these tickets and 10 minutes before our flight was about the leave we were still standing in the same line about to sweat our hands off. Then "last call" was announced and the Gorilla and I attempted to negotiate with people in front of us and explain to them that our flight was about to take off and that we needed to cut. We finally get our tickets and RAN. At this point we still hadn't gone through security. The Gorilla goes through the detector and beep beep beep. We did not have any time for a game of beep beep. Thankfully, the officer realized that the Gorilla had some type of metal on her boots. I am still not sure how she did it but I turned around and all of the sudden I see the Gorilla leaping through the metal detector barefoot. We scrambled for our stuff and darted faster than the speed of light. Keep in mind the Gorilla is still barefoot. We literally fly on to the run way and sit in the first seats available. We made it! Whoo hoo. If the jews thought miracles happened because of some oil, then they should truly evaluate the miracles that happened in the rest of our adventure home. Due to our unfortunate discovery that the Bolgona airport that Ryanair claims to be situated in, is actually false, we realized that we were probably going to have to spend the night in the Bologna train station. Prior to our trip we calculated that we could take the last train out of Bologna in plenty of time, but due to the little mishap, we were told by multiple people that there was just no way were going to make the 10:20 train leaving from Bologna to Florence, when our flight was to arrive at 9:10 in Forli because we would still have to take a 15 minute cab to the train station. And the train from Forli to Bologna is 45 minutes and the last train out of Forli to Bologna would arrive at 10:22. Impossible they told us. We would literally miss the train by TWO minutes. Remember what I said, two minutes actually mean something. This whole missing of the train wouldn't have been that big of an issue if A. my bestest friend in the entire world, whom might I add, I haven't seen in 5 and a half months wasn't coming to visit me and stay with me. B.DID YOU HEAR ME...Miss Monica Beth Pack was coming to Florence and if our planned worked, she was going to meet us in Bologna to take the train to Florence with us (a minor detail I forgot to tell you. Monica spent the past couple of days in Venice and her connecting train to Florence was in Bologna, the same train that we were supposed to get on) C. The train station in Bolgona is sketchy D. I had a paper due tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. F. We were exhausted from a fabulous weekend. Just to name of few of the problems with missing the train. Back to the story. The Gorilla and I boult off the plane, hop in a cab and jump on to the 9:31 train to Bologna. At 10:00, we ask the guy in front of us how much longer to Bologna and he said 20 minutes. All hopes of actually making the train were shot. I called Monica and she was waiting at the train station. I told her to fake an asthma attack, or better, offer the conductor a peep show, anything to delay it for TWO minutes. At 10:15, I called Monica again to ask the bin number for the train and at 10:18 the our train stopped in Bologna. Our train got in four minutes ahead of schedule but we had TWO minutes to get from bin number 9 to bin number 3......At 10:20, we ran up the stairs thinking we had already missed the last train BUT............standing at the top was a. Monica b. No Train. The train was 20 minutes delayed. I almost cried and died. The thought of staying up all night almost made me vomit but there was no ralphing tonight, just pure happiness. I finished my paper and Monica and I spooned in my frozen little twin bed. I am still in shock that we made it. I had the best weekend ever, followed by the best reunion with my best friend. Truly the best day ever.

post from the tenth of february in the year of oooo eight.

remember when barcelona ruled my world. a three day poem about the three days in Barcelona with the three little monkeys and one big gorilla.

Remember when we arrived at the Melon District and walked around the halls because we couldn't find our friends.
Remember when we walked into the Melon District and you thought your eyes were going to fall out because the lights were so bright.
Remember when we walked into the Melon District after taking a mid night stroll and the man at the front desk who didn't speak any english charged us to stay there.
Remember when we shnuggled in Gef's big bed.
Remember when Amy's art history teacher looked like Where's Waldo with a funky accent.
Remember when Amy's art history teacher looked like Where's Waldo with a funky accent waited the whole class to say "Now you are probably wondering what the f- is that"
Remember when we went to the most delicious place in the world, where salad bars grow and fro yo machines twirl and endless amounts of fruit are at your finger times.
Remember when we went to the worlds most delicious place in the world and couldn't stop eating.
Remember when we went out to dinner at Ba Ba Reba and everyone laughed at us, but we all swore we where wearing clothes.
Remember when we went to Pippermints and thought it was Skeeps and dominated the entire place.
Remember when we went to Pippermints and dominated the entire place but then the Gorilla got dominated about larger than your face orange juice concoction.
Remember when we went to Pipperments and played 300 games of "ahh poop-goly-gee-son-of-a-dog-your-moms-a-lover" (edited version) and we invited pee pee head to play. He actually looked like a pee pee head.
Remember when the Gorilla died.
Remember when we went to the park and I looked like a hippie.
Remember when Amy curtsied as she walked down the hill.
Remember when Amy, Julia and Ada just couldn't walk down the hill in general.
Remember when we went on the subway and to get in Amy went under, Julia and Gef used their cards like good little children, the Gorilla stepped over with her monster feet and I went under (but got a little stuck)
Remember when there was the worlds most incredible Market that had fish heads, strawberry fields, endless veggies and gods greatest gift, an entire Gummie stand!
Remember when Amy and the Gorilla took forever to go shopping and Julia and I wanted to kill them.
Remember when Amy and the Gorilla thought it would be a good idea to buy leggings that looked like someone had vomited on them.
Remember when we couldn't find the bar Mirabe and went in a cab three times in three different circles looking for it but no one seemed to know where it was.
Remember when we saw Lime, Joj, and Karp at Mirabe.
Remember how we stayed at Mirabe until 5:30 when they started playing the goodnight Spanish song.
Remember how freaky the goodnight Spanish song was.
Remember how Amy wanted to go to Pan so bad and we finally went it was the best greecy food ever.
Remember how after we ate the greecy food all we wanted to eat were McFlurry, so we did.
Remember how we went to the Shot Bar and Gef orderd a Monica Lewinsky.
Remember pop rocks, suckers, and fires being in your shots?



Remember how we came to Europe to Barcelona to visit our friends and it was incredible.

Appendix: cont. from Worlds Worst Discovery and all other Unlucky Luckiness.

We arrived in Barcelona safe and sound. We hopped in a cab to go to the monkeys recidencia (the monkeys = Gef, Julia, and Amy) We arrived at the Parelel 101 in the Melon District only to realize that A. we didn't have their numbers because this day in age skype is god and phonebooks are overrated. B. we needed a key card to get into the actual building. C. we needed to know their room numbers so the guard could let us in. D. we both kind of remember spanish but not really, so cultural barrier wall was starting to build REAL fast. If there were a multiple choice question and a teacher asked which of the following would be important for the Gorilla and Sidekick to have before traveling to Barcelona, I would have to pencil in E. all of the above. Thank goodness someone was walking out of the building right as we were standing there. The guard did not understand a word we were saying so the Gorilla and I befriended two boys and they let us go up stairs. For thirty minutes we wandered the halls yelling Gef, Julia, Amy. Gef, Julia, Amy. We walked into a kitchen and the Gorilla recognized a friend of Amy's and we finally made it to our friends. Being the smart Gorilla and Sidekick we decided that there was no way they would live on the first floor (our reasoning..I am not sure) but after going around 6 floors, the first floor was where they were at.

The Worlds Worst Discovery...cont. from Unlucky Luckiness.

After our great discovery, we realized that we were probably not going to make the last train home from Bologna on Sunday night because the airport is not in Bologna but in Forli and our plane gets in at 21:10 and there is a bus that leaves from Forli to Bologna that arrives in at 22:22 and the last bus out of Bologna to Florence is 22:20. I am not sure if you put two and two together (no pun intended )BUT that is just two whole minutes off. As of now we are banking on sleeping in the Bologna train station/ and by sleeping I mean staying up all night in the Bologna train station until the 5 am train on Monday. Not to mention that my best friend in the entire world is supposed to stay with me Sunday night and as of now I am crossing my fingers and hoping to die and willing to stick a needle in my eye that my plane will arrive early, we will take the bus into Bologna and that the train from Bologna to Florence will be 2 minutes delayed. I know that this sounds far fetched but we just got off our flight and it arrived 30 minutes early and last weekend we came from Venice to Bologna on our way home to Florence and our bus was 30 minutes delayed. But lets get real here...I am traveling with a Gorilla and we all know that sleeping in a train station is bound to happen. Right now I am sitting on a bus heading to Barcelona while the Gorilla is jamming out to some bouncy music...oh she just showed me, a little JT -imberlake. I am so excited to see Barcelona, I am so excited that we made it here alive (well we technically have not gotten to their apartment yet so there might be an appendix to this night) and I am so excited to Gef, Amy, Julia, and Lime Joj,and Karp are coming up Friday. Oh and I hope I see Cory barscalepski (who prior to leaving announced to my entire dinner table one night that Barcelona was no longer named Barcelona but rather barscalepski was taking over) ciao ciao!

Unlucky Luckiness.

God has really been on my side lately. This morning I headed to the Uffizzi for a little morning art history lesson. This was my first time at the Uffizzi since I have been here. It is truly spectacular. The museum is huge. In just one hour we only made it to two of the rooms, and there are probably 200 rooms, just to give you a little perspective. I have my first paper due on Monday where I have to compare Giotto's Madonna and Jesus, with an unknown Madonna Jesus. Although I am a little bit on Madonna and Jesus overload, it was interesting to see the transformation of these two characters over time. Way back in the day, both Jesus and his virgin momma were portrayed as looking more Palestinian but in the 1440's, artists looked at the classical for their inspiration and therefore the Madonna transformed from a long shnoze mama with brown hair and Mediterranean skin to a blonde haired, blue eyed, idealized babe. Jesus just gets a little freaky and says to hell with clothes, and like a stripper, jesus did away with them. What more could you want in a morning but wait my day only gets better. On our way to our Italian class the Gorilla and I were dreaming about our favorite foods back home considering the past three days we have survived on gooey pasta we made Sunday night and I said that I would be willing to kill someone for an ice coffee and the Gorilla said she would kill for a Dean and Deluca salad bar and I told her that I would do more than kill for one of those. After climbing 6 flights of stairs to get to our Italian class I snapped out my dream world of lust and realized that I was a little screwed for class today because our teacher told us that were going to have to act out little skits with our partners in Italian about how to get around in the train station or order something from a restaurant or how to book a hostel. My partner is a Gorilla, so technically it is not my fault we didn't practice. But to my surprise, our teacher told us we were going on a field trip to eat Sicilian granitas. I almost asked by teacher if she could read minds because If you put two and two together a granitia is better form of an iced coffee. We walked across town.. aka two streets away from my apartment to this little hole in the wall gelatoria and we ordered in Italian, small coffee granitias. I didn't even have to kill anyone today and my dream came true. We didn't have to do our skits and we just drank iced coffee and talked about life. Not to mention we got to leave straight from the coffee shop which meant that we were able to leave class 30 minutes early. With a smile on my face, caffeine in my blood, the gorilla and I skipped over to the market to get some lunch and dried fruit for our barcelona adventure this afternoon. We were originally going to bank off the free samples they offer in the market for lunch but we stopped at a place we had sampled from before and the man grabbed his knife and started threatening to cut off our hands. I didn't understand him the first time and I thought he was joking so I took a piece of bread. Then the Gorilla heard him say "Bambino Bambino, and combined with his rather vulgar sawing motion to his left head. We translated that as "I cut your baby hands off". Very confused, I grabbed an olive and walked away. I am still confused as to what he was trying to say but we decided that spending three euro on an egg and veggie sandwich was much better than having our baby hands chopped off. Even now as I am writing this blog I am still confused and will probably have bad dreams tonight about the thought of butcher wanting to chop off my hands. I had ants in my pants all through panting because after class the Gorilla and I were going to embark upon our first non Italian travel adventure...watch out Spain, the Gorilla and the Sidekick are coming to Barcelona. I am skipping school aka I am only skipping one class because my photo teacher is still sick and we are going to stay with my long lost lover Gef, my long lost pony neighbor Amy, and my long lost Frank's freak Julia (they decided to study it up Spanish style for the semester) Unlike last time, we actually did research about how were going to get from point a to b before coming. We found out that we actually had to take an hour bus from the airport to Barcelona that would actually run during the times were coming in because we decided no more rides from strangers and we can't judge spaniards like we can Italians. So just pre-warning you, expect an adventure because I officially decided my life is pretty much a joke. My cousin reconfirmed that the other night and she only speaks the truth. We get aboard the Florence to Bologna train because while florence is the best city in the world, it is impossible to find a flight out of. Our flight was leaving at 8:45 p.m. from Bologna to Barcelona and just to make sure we would get there on time, we left at 4:38. The train was wonderful, quick and easy. We read online that we could "apparently" take a five minute bus from Bologna bus station to the Bologna airport. We were able to find a cheap flight on Ryanair (which for all you ol folk, it is the european version of a lower class, student friendly budget airline) We get off the train in Bologna and immediately see a bus for the airport. Luckily we asked a lady on the bus if this takes us to Ryanair airport. First off we were on the wrong bus, second of all the Bologna Forli airport is not in Bologna and Forli is actually another city even though Ryanair has both online and on the ticket (that we did print off before coming.,..."yeah" to being responsible) The nice young lady tells us that the airport we need to be at is an hour away from here, and that we can take a bus or get on a train. The next 20 minutes of my life was actually as if someone video tapped me and put me on fast forward double time and then put me in rewind. We literally ran, and by that I mean darted off the bus we were on and then back in the train station, We asked for information on the bus times and found out that the bus was leaving in four minutes. After two of those four minutes were used with the bus attendee explaining to us how to get to the bus station, we literally sprinted to the bus station. and by sprinted I mean, rocket powered because the Gorilla ran out in the middle of the street without looking both ways (and I being her sidekick followed) just so we could get to the bus station. Well can you guys guess what happened next. Typical we missed the bus because chit chat bus lady used up 3 of our minutes and there was no way that a Gorilla and her Sidekick with two large bags could run down the street and across in one minute. When we arrived at the bus station empty bused, four nasty Albanian men starting hooting and hollering at us, and I just couldn't take it anymore and I dropped a big f-bomb on them. About to burst in to the tears, (actually just the Gorilla..I just felt like I was having heart murmurs) we stopped to ask a bus attendant if there is a train we could take. I had never met such a nice and good looking bus attendant and he assured us that we were going to be just fine, he sold us our tickets and we head to the airport. So for all of you traveling from Florence to Barcelona, taking a flight out of Bologna, Ryanair does not speak the truth and you must get to Forli airport, which is actually not in Bologna. Two train stops later, we arrived at the Flori train station. A creepy man sitting next to us in our train (he looked like garbage can version of Screech from Saved By the Bell) offered to take us to the airport. He was weirdly checking out the Gorilla's ipod and kept starring at us during the entire train ride, so we decided to actually use our brains this time and refused the ride and decided that if there was a bus available we should take it. Indeed there was and we made it to Forli airport a-okay. The Gorilla and I finally made it on to the plane, however the Gorilla had to actually spoil our flight by letting out a huge Gorilla fart. I actually thought that I was going to die getting on this flight, or possibly die taking the flight, but after the Gorilla let one rip, I realized I was going to RIP from her gorilla gas.
The Gorilla actually thought that she might too perish in the unforgivable plague that escaped from amongst her granny panties, actually, it was just a suicide attempt to save herself from the misery of Ryanair. (from the Gorilla) I know how I said earlier in this post that God was on my side...now I am not so sure. I guess he is. Maybe I am just the worlds most unlucky lucky person.

post from two thousand and eight year in the month of february on the fifth day in the week day of wednesday.

Oh When The Saints Come Marching In.

I made my first accordion book today and I am still waiting on orders from you all so start emailing me because the ants in my pants have made it to my bra and finger tips and I am ready to start making journals and books. During my break before photo, I prepared for my presentation that I was "apparently" going to give in class today, along with turning in my first photo assignment. My class arrived at photo and waited for five minutes, then ten and then jokingly our class decided that if she didn't come after 15 minutes we have our students rights to leave. We waited for nearly 15 minutes and then the brilliant Canadian (they are good for something) in our class looked at the door and saw that our teacher left us a note that class was canceled. SHABOO YA! I was actually thinking in my mind while preparing for this presentation that it would be pretty tight, tight like my jeans are on me know because I have gained the florentine fifty, If my teacher didn't show up and I didn't have to give my presentation. The Gorilla and I stayed up at the art school after class because our internet when out this afternoon and we needed to figure our plans out for the weekend and the next. This weekend and by that I mean tomorrow the Gorilla and I are heading to Barcelona and we just decided to head to Switzerland, Lucerne to be exact, the weekend after. We have learned very quickly that it is important to book things in advance. While the Gorilla was sending in her life to the world (aka her resumes across the world) and while I was skyping my friend Scott, loud drums and children screaming started to fill the streets around us. At first I thought it was the anarchists that had been protesting the night before (weird i know, for anarchists to gather together to protest but they are italians, enough said) then I thought that World War Three had started in Italy because the Italian government is no longer in office right now. But non of those things were true but rather it was a carnival parade that the local school was putting on. Similar to lancer day, actually only similar in the fact that it was a huge parade, hundreds of little chillin were dressed in every type of costume, from cows, to kittens, to euro store masks to even a trojan warrior. Confetti filled the streets and silly string was getting really silly all over the place. A small drumming band was going at it and a group of teachers followed (young and REALLY old) dressed like raggedy anne dolls. Then there were teachers (what we assumed to be teachers or else they were just really overly excited people singing and dancing and monitoring massive amounts of pee bodies) dressed in a all sorts of attires, from pig costumes, to pink zebras, you think of it, this parade had it. The gorilla and I ran out in to the streets to enjoy the fun for a little bit but then i was scared some might steal my computer so we ran back to school (for some reason i always think the world is out to get me) we went to Anna's for dinner for the typical and then headed back home to clean and pack. we were going to go to our favorite hang out because our internet was out but luckily as we were about to leave, the internet when back on. I met erica and sara for some gelato aka my favorite food.


p.s. Bus Station: Oh I forgot one minor detail about my day. After dinner we decided to buy our train tickets tonight because we are leaving right after class tomorrow to go to barcelepski. We are actually trying to be responsible travelers this time around. We got "apparently" got a free voucher for a train ride because we decided to come home early from Venice and the train was cheaper on the return, thus we got a voucher. Being the innocent amuricans that we are we trusted miss weed-wacker train lady (her hair looked like someone had taken a weed-wacker to it) and she gave us a train ticket that is only valid from

from tuesday the fifthness of february in the yearth two thousand and eigth

lessons to be learned + photogs for the home dogs.

[my first photog project]


I had to stay after class tonight to finish my photog project that is due tomorrow. I love the art schools system they have set up here because they close the studios down at 11:00 pm. Which basically means that if you haven't finished your work by 11:00 pm tough luck but go enjoy your evening because you only live once (deep). Michigan should learn from this system.

post from the day of fourness, in the month of february, in the two thousand and eightness.

my family from across the world.

normally sundays are good days to do nothing. but not this sunday.

I am carrying on my family Sunday night dinner tradition with my extended family here in Florence. I cooked for 10 people (I strongly emphasize the "I" because the Gorilla actually did nothing to help) a scrumptious cuisine of pasta and broccoli (half with garlic, for the garlic lovers and half with out, for the garlic haters), eggplant and zucchini on the side (they are acquired tastes), bread, tomatoes, parmesan and olive oil along with a side of cheese and crackers. Dara, Effie, Erica, Sara, Rachel, Adam and the Gorilla and I gathered around our dining room table for long stories and long laughs. I went to the painting studio tonight to finish my still that is due tomorrow. Across the world my real family was enjoying their family dinner at my house while I was enjoying my family dinner. They loved it so much the transformed into family dinner creatures (see above)

post from sunday the third of february in the year two thousand and eight.