How To Work Your Poody Pouch.

I made a video out of this but for some reason it won't let me show it to the general public, if you want to see it on the big screen, it will be shown the red carpet in the Isenberg theatre upon my return.

postness from march 6th 2 thousand and aight. 

A Fashion of Shows.

When You Go To Africa.

Originally we had planned to take on Africa on our own (the Gorilla is part African, however many people do not know that) but some how we resorted (no pun intended) in signing up for the tour to Tangier through the Marriott. Based on the look of the people waiting in the lobby with us at 7:05 am (yes, we were judging), we expected the group to be a much more lively and on the younger end of the spectrum. Our not so friends, Peter, Pink Shirt Boy and Earing Man joined us in the lobby at 7:05. We were apparently supposed to be leaving the hotel at 7:05, thus the Gorilla and I woke up at 6:00 to shower and drink coffee. Did I mention how we were supposed to leave a 7:05...However around 7:35, the bus finally rolled its wheels through the gates and we hopped aboard. 54 out of the 61 of the people on the bus were anywhere from 20 to 30 years older than the Gorilla and I. It was the worlds most touristy bunch. We got the visors, the fanny packs, the neck packs, the water bottle packs, the high socks, the big sun glasses (not the ones in style now), and the loud voices galore. The minute we stepped on the bus the Gorilla and I looked at each other and then wanted to run but then we remembered we were going to Africa and we couldn't really care that much. We took a 45 minute bus ride to the port. Luckily it was another fabulous day and from the port we could see Africa, Gibraltor and all of Spain. We climbed aboard the ferry, and rocked our way to Africa. Tangier is definitely a touristy port, and houses a cluster of different religions and nationalities, however it has a very strong Muslim community. Our tour comprised of a bus ride up the coast of Tangier where the Mediterranean meets the Atlantic, and then a quick stop off the side of a mountain for a camel ride and by ride I mean a sit on a camel, while the old men hecklers made lots of money from the old touristy men on our bus (they all got back on the bus shocked that they had spent so much money, they just couldn't believe it, but I was able to believe it because I saw it all go down.  Men would approach and ask for ridiculous amounts of money for their copper and gold dipped metal bracelets and rather than bargaining, the old Amurican men replied with a simple yes and in return received a handful of "worse than costume jewelry" jewelry. Camel riding (or I would say camel sitting) and bracelet buying led to a walk through the streets and a stop at a snake charmer, which (slowly but surely) led to a traditional Morroccan feast with mint green tea and belly dancers (the Gorilla thought one of them looked like the real freaky-retainer-talking-roommate...katiemb) We then headed to Africa's version of a car show but instead of cars, they were selling rugs.  A little man dressed in traditional apparel with little pointy yellow shoes, auctioned off different rugs.  Deep down inside, I hated these men because you could tell they were slimmy-money-suckers and everything in their store was very toursity and extremely marked up.  At this point, the Gorilla and I just wanted to run.  There were streets and streets of open air markets and all we wanted to do was explore.  We played the game of "who can take the best pictures with out looking through the lens" game, but a winner was never determined. After the carpet showdown we were given time to explore a few of the streets.  The Gorilla and I scattered from the group when scattering was allowed.  We bought scarves and checked out the different hole in the wall stores.  15 minutes was not that much scatter time but it was enough for us.  The good thing about this whole touristy tour was that it gave us a small taste (the size of a salt crystal) of Morocco and let us know that we are going to return. Around 5 we headed back on the ferry with our new best friends.  We met a Dilf and his two sons on their spring break and we chatted up a storm with them.  Through out this whole vacation, I keep saying "I feel like my parents should be here with me" and thus we adopted a few new families along the way. We headed to the grocery to get supplies for dinner.  Two boxes of cereal and a jug of milk (I would tell you the size but I can't read the labels here so a jug is a jug) It was all we needed to make the worlds greatest concoction. The Gorilla and I had a fashion show and watched more tele...we are really trying to soak up everything here including the sun, the television, the washer, the dryer, the coffee maker...just to name a few.  Today was just incredible and I still can't believe that I am writing this blog about going to Africa.  I have been to Africa.  

When You Go To Africa.

   


  

p.s. THIS IS THE JUMPING MAN...watch him jump

"Palm Tree Maintenance Team" -mbp

Who Knew Owning A Marriott Timeshare Could Be So Depressing?

With all of our guests gone, the Gorilla and I decided to transform back into our 20 year old bodies but switching over to our 80 year old mindsets. I woke up rather early because the silly alarm clock next to my bed was set for an hour later so when I thought it was acceptable to wake up at 9:40, I really woke up at 8:40 (which is not acceptable) Rather than jumping out on to the beach like we did yesterday, I decided that a nice bubble bath would be a good idea, so I hopped in the tub and read my book. I met the Gorilla down stairs at the gym around 9:45 (the real 9:45) and worked out for the first time in a very long time. After being in a bathing suit so much, I realized that I have grown in places that I didn't even know exisited before. A nice little run wouldn't hurt. At 11:30 we met down at the resturant for a "Paella and Sangria Demo". Gathered in a half moon shape around the grill, three older woman and one man sat ready with paper at hand to learn how to make these Spanish cuisines. I have been feeling a little funky the past two days, and my stomach has been uber reactive to the food here, so I didn't feel so good today. Before the cooking class started one of the women was talking about something and all of the sudden my ears zoomed in and I heard in a surprisingly cheerful tone with a harsh southern American accent "well since my husband is dead and I have no children, I thought I might get a timeshare" and then the lady sitting next to her was like "Yeah, my husband is dead too, and I don't have any children either" The Gorilla turned to me and in a very quite voice and mimicked their accents "Well, because I don't have a husband and never want children, I have a Marriott timehshare" It was funny and depressing at the same time to hear these ladies talk. They should definitely not be on the Marriott's board for advertising because you can only imagine a bill board reading "With my husband dead and no children, the Marriott was the perfect place to invest my money". Pointed-sideburns-sweatsuit man taught us how to make Sangria and Paella. Even though my stomach wanted to kill Paella, it was much easier to eat knowing that a. it was free and b. how it was made. Sometimes I wonder when I am eating it, what is what? The Gorilla and I headed down to the beach for the day. Read, Slept, Read Slept. I am living the life. We rented Insomnia from the gift shop and ate Smacks and popcorn for dinner.

Peggy.

I woke up feeling rather sick, my stomach felt like it was slowly caving in on me and I am not too surprised if it actually did because I have been using and abusing it lately and I think it is finally fighting back. It was a little colder today than it was yesterday but it started to really warm up around 3. We literally sat on the beach all day. Moni and I played a few games of ping pong and a couple rounds of paddle board on the beach. Unfortunately Monica had to head home today so around 5:15. We headed down stairs for "Complementary-Welcome-To-The-Marriott" drinks and appetizers. Obviously Peggy was in charge of the event. She greeted us at the doors. We wandered around for little bit trying to find a nice couple to sit down and chat with, but rather than greeting us with open arms, we felt as though everyone was staring at us. Peggy eagerly wanted to introduce us to a few of her guests, as she called them. She told us that she introduces all of her guests to other guests so they can form long lasting friendships. She escorted us outside and sitting on the couches were a group of 5 younger boys from Georgetown University (I only say "younger' because they were younger than 50). We had noticed them on the beach today but decided that they were probably not the kind of people we would want to talk to when we realized that they were already sunbathing at 9:30 in the morning with tanning oil. I felt like we are a Penny Vrooman event, and Peggy was Penny and she was introducing us to our future husbands. The Gorilla, Pony and I awkwardly mingled with Peggy's guests. Peter, Pink shirt boy, earring boy, Oliver, the new Barcelpski (whom we later found out, is actually from Jordan but his family lives on a camp in Saudi Arabia but goes to Georgetown) are sophomores on their Spring Break. We exchanged questions like where were from, what friends we knew, where we were studying abroad and by favorite from "special" Peter, what type of SPF we used. Luckily, the Pony had to catch a flight which meant we ALL had to escort her up stairs. We were able to escape the awkward turtles. It was like when our moms used to be waiting outside Leawood Country club in their mini van's and the minute we shut the door, the awkward tension from fox trotting with Mr. Mc-sweaty-palms would finally be over. The Gorilla and I headed to dinner at this cute little restaurant on the beach next to the hotel for seafood salads. The view was incredible, it was like we were floating on the water, while sipping Coke Cola Lights. Yum Yum. We shnuggled up in the pull out couch to watch the Born Identity (love the Born movies) and then went to bed.

Sunday Is A Good Day To Do Nothing, Especially When You Are On A Beach In Gorgeous Weather.

Karp and Joj shnuggled in one bed, the Gorilla and the Pony in a barn together and Me, Monica, and Lime spooned in the king sized bed. We all woke up at different times but Momma Monica cooked everyone a scrumpt-didly-umptious breakfast. French toast with jam and peanut butter. We all gathered outside on our balcony (oh I forgot to mention, we have a balcony) for a nice family breakfast and then we gathered our belongings and headed down to the beach. Unfortunately Joj, Karp and Lime had to head back to their motherland today, so they packed up their bags and went on their way. We soaked up the sun all day. Monica and I ventured out to the game room and played a couple rounds of ping pong for our afternoon entertainment. We stupidly ordered in paella and salad from a Spanish restaurant for dinner. I don't say stupidly because it was a stupid idea to order Paella, we just paid a stupid amount of money for it. And after we ate it, all I could think was, man we paid a lot of money for that stuff. We are really trying to mesh in the our environment, thus activities like ordering in food and watching movies, rather than going out, were key. We all shnuggled up and watched Rataoullie on the TV (we have a TV with a DVD player...did I mention that) Typical, I feel asleep for a majority of the movie. We decided to form a cult and dress up/ wrap ourselves in the itchy extra blankets from the fold out couch and go star gazing. I was on the only one who saw a shooting star. I started to feel a little sick. The Paella didn't settle so well in the my stomach. Early bed time (at least for out standards)

You Know You Are the Worlds Luckiest Person, When You Get To Live Next To This. (See Below)

Sometimes the pretty-pony should not be released out into the wild (public) to make her own decisions, especially when the decision of going to the bathroom results in having to wait for two hours to get the next bus. We woke up this morning, after another good nights sleep and decided that going to the grocery to get breakfast was a much better idea than eating the "included" wrapper packed deal. With a large box of Smacks and a plate of apples in hand we headed down to the beach to get some coffee. Ordering coffee lead to ordering croissants, which lead to eating Smacks at the table while eating croissants and drinking coffee. The Pretty Pony finally arrived and we all hoped in a cab to Estepona. I wasn't really sure what to expect of Estepona because three days ago I thought we were staying in Malaga only to find out that we were staying in Marbella and then Estepona. Now I am not saying that the hostels that I have been staying at our gross or disgusting or unliveable (they have all been quite nice, even the trailer park) but when you are used to arriving at hostel up some alley way where the gift shop is a vending machine and your bathroom is open to the public, and you arrive at a Marriot with a security guard and gate with fountains and palm trees your world turns upside down and you butterflies in your stomach and ants in your pants and you think to yourself what a wonderful world. It was really like we had all been cut off from civilization for months and we had just stepped off the boat and elevators, a front lobby with sofa's and shiny marble, and free orange juice with ice where gold. We hit jackpot for sure. With Oo's and Ahh's flying out of our mouths we headed to our apartment. When we thought the front lobby was spectacular, we had no clue how good it could get. And it got good. You forget how much you appreciate the little things when they aren't around. A dishwasher (say goodbye to Gorilla hands and sponges) a microwave (say hello to popcorn) a coffee maker (say goodbye to espresso) a tea pot that plugs into the wall that heats up water, not just one but three TVs, a feather bed, two bath tubs, a double headed shower and best of all a WASHER AND A DRYER! See above. We received a welcome packet and a free bottle of nice wine. We were known to the hotel as the Johnson Family. Momma Isenberg was worried that because I am under the age of the 2 and the 1, that they wouldn't let me check in. It was a smart idea but putting the Gorilla in charge is not always so smart. After taking a tour of apartment, Peggy, the head of Marriot timeshare department, then called down and invited us, the Johnson Family, for a meet and greet. When I answered the phone she told me that I could bring my spouse down with me but I had to inform Peggy that it was me and three of my friends. Right after Peggy called, I received another call from the front desk informing me that I had a visitors wanting to talk to me. Visitors so soon! Sure enough, Lime, Joj, and Karp were able to make their way down and they were waiting in the lobby. The Gorilla and Pretty Pony headed to the grocery store to grab some grub for lunch and the rest of us wandered down to the beach to bathe in the rays. It was surprisingly much warmer than I expected and sun screen was imperative. Unfortunately, the only sun screen we could find was a 25 euro bottle in the gift shop, but we reasoned that 25 euros now is much better than skin cancer later. (such smart girls are we) We toasted and roasted in the sun all day. They had three out door pools but they were all freezing (aka not heated) but who needs a pool when you have the ocean. However, I think I lost the tip of my foot when it touched the water. It didn't take us long to figure out that most of the people staying the hotel were any where from 20 to 40 years older than us. Thats why I am the worlds luckiest person and I secretly love old people, just not topless ones. Yes there was a separate part for topless only. Around 5, it started to get a little cold (this is a typical feeling when the sun goes down), so we all headed up, showered up, cleaned up and got ready for dinner-up. We made our way into the port for dinner, 5 minute cab up the coast. It would probably seem like a bad idea to most people to head to an Italian restaurant in Spain when one is studying Italy and one eats Italian food everyday, however Peggy gave us a recommendation of a place to eat and we couldn't resist a recommendation from Peggy. I know that by the end of this trip Peggy and I are going to be best friends. I mean come on her name is Peggy. We went a restaurant called Picasso (Picasso was born in Malaga, Spain) What seemed like a bad idea (that being going to the Italian restaurant) was actually the best idea ever. We ordered greek salad, bbq pizza (like the kind at CPK), a cheese and veggie. Our original plan was to all get dinner together and then all go out together but every party has a pooper and thats why we invited the Pony, the Gorilla and Karp (party poopers!) Monica, Lime and I were brave souls and decided to check out the nightlife in Estepona, Spain. It took us just about the same amount of time to observe the age range at the hotel as it did for us to realize that we were also dealing with a different generation of clubers, dancers, and bar-ers. We asked our waiters were to go out, and they recommended this strip of bars just behind the restaurant. Ironically we ran into our waiters later in the evening and they kept buying us drinks. We were quite the bar hoppers, if we didn't like a song in one place, we would walk next door and check it out. My favorite bar was this little Irish pub filled with an older generation of people dancing to the classics (some like to call them the oldies). We did some finger snappin, some twisting and shouting and we even belted a little brown-eyed girl. I felt like we were at Bar-Mitzvah in an Irish pub. Monica obviously got into the dancing. She is just so good and I look like a fool next her. Well actually, at point in the evening my dancing was actually better than hers. All of the sudden (in the Irish pub) this older man, 50 years of age if I had to guess, started to dance with all of us, but then out of no where he must of thought the song got really exciting because he just started jumping and flopping his arms in the air. He was a machine! So naturally, Monica decided that in order to dance with him she needed to do the same thing. Lime and I backed off at this point. It looked like they were doing an ancient rain dance. Arms were flying, legs were jumping. It was quite the sight to see. I still can't figure out how the man didn't pass out because Monica was about to break a sweat, and he continued to dance like this even after Monica stopped. I forgot to mention the best part of the story, the man was wearing really dark designer sunglasses, so you couldn't see his eyes. It was all fun and games until a table or a chest (we couldn't figure it out) fell from the second floor onto a table of glasses. Luckily no one was hurt but thats when decided it was probably a good idea to leave. Around 2, we made our way back home exhausted from a superb day.

100 Posts from the Poster.

THIS IS MY 100th POST!
We woke up from a good nights slumber only find out that the "included" breakfast that was mentioned on their website, was actually not included unless you paid an extra 2.50. I am not sure about you but having to pay any extra is not something I would call included. Obviously we got it but after eating it I regretted every second of it. It was euro store croissants (and trust me I know everything that comes out of that euro store, you can't fool me), watered down O to the J and what I thought was going to be a big cup of coffee American style, ended up being a big cup of luke warm milk with a few droplets of coffee. Just slightly disappointed about this whole breakfast thing, the Gorilla and I decided to head to the water, to grab a cup of coffee on the beach. When all is said and done, you can't be disappointed when you just paid 2.50 for a terrible breakfast, when you can leave and say "hey lets go the beach". We had a few hours to kill before the besty of the bestest, Miss Monica Beth (she hates when people know her middle name...but spread the world it is BETH) was to meet us at the hostel. We finally purchased some new 2 in 1 shampoo conditioner combo after a month of thinking that we were both being sneaking about stealing our roommates hair products. I also bought a HUGE bottle of Johnson and Johnson's Baby Body Lotion, the kind that makes little kids butts smooth. Our apartment is really dry and my skin looks similar to an alligator with spots. Remind me if I ever start freaking out because I can't understand how and when and where I spent all of my money, calm me down and mention "lotion". The lotion that I bought was 5 euros (that is 10 American dollars for Johnson and Johnson's baby lotion!) But hey it was the cheapest one, and now I am going to be soft like a babies butt. Okay where was I. Monica finally called us and we rushed her into the hostel, so she could change into her bathing suit. We all felt a little disgusted looking at our pale, (mine rather giggly) bodies in the mirror but you only live once. Naturally after talking about how ugly we looked, we decided we should eat. Even when your feeling down, eating always makes you feel better. We headed down to the beach and attempted to lay out on a random hotel's beach chairs but that didn't last too long. 5 euros each when we could just lay out on our stolen towels, not worth it. We ordered chicken salads, "chips" (as Monica now calls them...but the rest of us who are not a proper, we can then french fries) and a huge pitcher of Sangria. The salads were delicious and come to think of it, it is the first "real" large salad that I have had since I have been here. AND THEY HAD KETCHUP. Oh how I miss ketchup. I think you can buy it here for you know 12 euro. I don't love it that much. It was not boob-sweat-hot-dying-to-jump-in-the-ocean-hot but it was potential sun tan weather, and it was warm enough for me. We all crashed on the salt and pepper beach until around 4:30, when decided that we should probably go back, take showers, and EAT AGAIN. I feel like 90 percent of my blogs are describing the food that I eat, but I am really good at it, so I feel I must tell you all. Monica actually got burnt but only half of her body. She was the only one remotely sitting in the sun during lunch but you can't escape the sun. We all got dressed and headed down stairs to get a recommendation for dinner. Not to complain because I feel like this entire post is me just complaining but we did indeed walk around the whole city in search of the restaurant that the little Argentinean woman swore to us that every local would know and that we had to go to get real Spanish food. We kept asking everyone where it was because we were lost and my little amount of spanish did not help. In circles and in circles we did go until I stopped a woman whom I thought might actually know English but like the old saying goes you can't judge a book by its cover. She knew less english than anyone we had already asked but she understood us enough and rather than trying to explain where to go she just made us follow her. There was no escaping her, she was on a mission. Around a few corners and down a few blocks we finally got to the "El Gallo" restaurant only to find out that it was closed. We would of never found it on our own probably because there was NO sign for the street that it was located on nor a sign with the restaurants name on it. So instead of being adventurous, we decided that the 5 euro greasy chinese buffet was a much better idea. and sure enough, it was. Stuffed, bloated, fat-pig are words to describe my feelings after dinner. We were going to go out but after our little dinner adventure we decided that eating lemon-ice in bed while watching a movie was a much better idea. I never hate a night in in my pj's eating food, watching a movie, with my two lovers. "Snatch" was the bed time story of choice. It didn't take me more than 15 minutes to fall asleep, so don't even worry. Tomorrow off to Estepona. Not sure if Lime, Joj and Karp are coming anymore. I got an anonymous call earlier today. It ended up being Lime and in 15 seconds she explained that she didn't know if they were going to be able to make it down anymore. Without little explanation, she was gone. We shall see.

Just Call Me An Elephant.

The Gorilla and I have truly gotten better at this whole traveling thing and every time we fly it just seems to get easier and easier. I guess it helps when the airport is actually located in the city that it says it is. I guess it also helps when the airline is a legit airline, where you don't have to pay to get your boarding pass and I guess it helps when you actually sorta kinda know what you are doing. So here is the skinny (on the not so skinny) Spring Break. The Gorilla and I are heading to Malaga, Spain. For two nights we are staying in Marbella (just 45 minutes south of Malaga) because our hotel deal is a Saturday to Saturday kinda thang. Monica, the bestest of the besties, is coming down all the way from London on Friday night, then on Saturday morning, if all goes to plan, Amy-the-pretty-pony, is going to come down from Barcelpski and meet us in Marbella, then we are all going to take a cab from Marbella to Estepona. And thats not all. Then Lime, Karp, and Joj are going to take the train down Saturday morning and meet us at the hotel for a night of fun. Monica, the bestest of the besties and Amy-the-pretty-pony are going to stay until Monday. We kinda have this whole plan down to a T, we will just have to cross our t's and hope to die and stick a needle in our, that it all works out. The Gorilla and I hoped aboard the 8:15 train to Bologna, and then took the bus to the airport. We had a lay over in Madrid, and we were so hungry, hungry enough to eat a sandwich comprised of bread, potatoes and eggs. Normally I wouldn't dare touch a thing like that but our other options were McFlurries, or 1 euro sandwiches that looked like they had come from a space ship, and or from the same place twinkies and zebra cakes are made and we didn't want to die. We finally got into Malaga but then had to wait two hours for the bus because we were told that the buses were off schedule because it was a holiday, "Holiday Andalucia" to be exact. But we secretly knew this was going to happen to us because we checked the bus schedule before we left and because our visit is considered "off season" and or the "winter months" the buses do not run at their regular times. Infatuated with the people at the airport the Gorilla and I sucked on M and M's, Maltese's and Starbursts ( I hate to admit...I am just a fat kid in a little suit these days) and we watched the world go round and round. We secretly wanted to buy trashy magazines from the newspaper stand but it cost three euros so instead we ate candy. Duh naturally. We finally got on the bus and finally got Marbella and then finally took a cab from Marbella to our hostel. We finally arrived at Hostal Berlin around 8:00. Confusing, I know, that a hostal in Spain would be called Berlin, but indeed that was the name (hostel spelled with an A..not a spelling mistake, only the truth). Interestingly enough, the hostel is owned by an Argentinean family. The cute little lady behind the counter (her name I can't remember possibly because she never gave it me) was just adorable. She showed us to our room and then gave us suggestions for dinner. We pretended to listen to her, because on the way to the hostel, we saw a chinese buffet for only 5 euro that was actually just down the street. Good Chinese food, come to think of it any Chinese food is difficult to find in Florence and were craving anything.
Again with this whole buffet thing, I should just start making a general rule for myself..NO BUFFETS, they always result in over indulgence. This place reminded me a bit like the buffet from Vegas Vacation, however the food was actually appetizing. They had these peanuts under a heat lamp, salted and crispy and de-licous. Dad you would of loved them. I ate so many, I actually turned into an elephant. Stuffed from eating the words most unhealthy food, the Gorilla and I, headed straight up stairs and went right to bed. Long day. Another attempt at Spain, here I come.


FEB 28th in the year of the thousands of two-ness and then add an eight to the end.

Ain't No Thang.

I never thought I would study the night before for 2 midterms and on top of that do eight study paintings in a hour and half. But miraculously I was able to get it done. If I had been at Michigan, I would have been preparing for my exams and projects two weeks in advance and probably would have had two panic attacks and two all nighters. In Italy, things like that are not acceptable and I am here for a cultural immersion, thus my actions here are acceptable because it is part of the culture (thats what I keep telling myself...Don't worry Linda J and My Dear Oma, both the Gorilla and I keeping up our studies!). But it wasn't just me who was laxed about them, you could tell all of my professors didn't really seem to care that that much either. I arrived promptly for my Art History exam at 9:30 am and my HP Dolby looking teacher couldn't find the midterm on her computer and she searched for 20 minutes to find the exam. I told her we could wait until we came back from break, but just as I said that she some how found it. She was about to start sweating her blue eye shadow off, because we were already 20 minutes into the class. I did a little over average job, possibly B work on it. Not too shabby. I found out that my "midterm" that I took in Italian class on Monday was actually the real midterm, however Lorenzo was not supposed to give it to us, and right before the exam, I discovered that I would be taking another exam. The real midterm this time. It was basically the exact same "midterm" that I took on Monday but the words were different and the order was mixed up. No biggie. Ain't No Thang. And some how, how? I am not so sure, but some how my painting teacher loved my paintings and I think my crit went really shwell. Shasty pants (now everyone in the house just calls her pants, even herself), the Gorilla and I headed down the street for an all you can eat buffet at El Parata for only 6 euro. I know I shouldn't be going to an all you can eat buffet before heading to Malaga Spain TOMORROW where I will be wearing a bathing suit on the beach (whether the weather permits me or not) but I was so hungry and I walk past this poor little restaurant every single day, I felt that it was my duty to stop in and try their delicious looking food. And indeed it was. My internet has not been working properly, thus this post will probably go up sometime next week when I am in Malaga because the computers at the art school are OH SO poopy. I figured out today that Malaga indeed is where we are flying into but the hostel that we are staying in Thursday and Friday night are in Marbella which is 45 minutes from the Malaga airport in which we are flying into and the hotel that we are staying in Saturday to Saturday is actually in Estepona which is 15 minutes from Marbella which makes it an hour and five minutes from Malaga. While I must admit that I haven't not done much planning for my spring break because a. I booked it before coming abroad (basically Ji and Ji are the worlds most generous people and instead of allowing themselves to take a vacation for a week, they have, why? I am not so sure, but some how have decided that instead of using their Disney Vacation Club points all for themselves, they are letting me use them) b. I booked my flight the second week I got here, and assumed that when I read on the hotels website that I should fly into Malaga, I just assumed that it was in Malaga. I have learned that making assumptions is not always good, actually it is really bad, so today, the day before leaving for my week long spring break, I thought it might be a good idea to not make those assumptions and do a little research as to how I was going to get to the hostel in Marbella and then get to the Hotel in Estepona. I did all of my research, printed out my flight itinerary, jotted down a few phone numbers just to be safe, and then headed over to Erica's and Sara's to say hello to D-Len. Unfortunately, he had more important things to do like go out, so we were only able to chit chat for negative five seconds. Sara decided it would be cool to dance like a freak, Sara my love, sometimes it is cool to dance like a freak but most of the time it just isn't. Love you anyway! Came home from the Cavour kids apartment and packed up for my big spring break. The Gorilla and I were going to share a bag but by the time I came home the Gorilla had already pack her Gorilla bag and because she is a Gorilla, her clothes are rather Gorilla-ish and her bag was filled to the top. I didn't bring a small carry-on-roller-bag, and thought because I am going away for the week and because I am actually taking a legit airline this time, I might as well fill-er-up and I decided to pack the big relish hot dog duffel bag on wheels (its like an Oscar Meyer Weiner truck, just green). Pants (that being Shastypants) gave me my nightly entertainment, told stories, and asked for some butt stories from A and E. Big day tomorrow. Train to Bologna, Bus to Airport, Flight to Madrid, flight from Madrid to Malaga, Malaga Airport to the Marbella bus station, Marbella bus station to cab, cab to hostel. All of my bags are packed and I am ready to go. "I am standing here out side your door I HATE TO WAKE YOU UP TO SAY GOODBYE BECAUSE I AM LEAVING ON A JET PLANE, DON"T KNOW WHEN I WILL BE BACK AGAIN"...err sorry for the sudden burst to sing and then type while I am singing...it won't happen again!

FEB. 27 2008-the post came from that date.

I Dropped His Heart In The Middle Of The Street.

My pangram post card project was due today in book arts. Every one in my class had to make twelve of the same post cards using imagery and the letter press. For those of you unaware of what a pangram is, it is basically a sentence that uses every letter of the alphabet. I technically cheated and used two sentences but mine read "three zealous quaker men in tall socks with four puffing pipes stand behind these doors just waiting. You may choose doors 1 2 or 3 to find out whom your one true husband might be". In the postcard I cut three little doors and standing behind each door is a different zealous quaker man with four puffing pipes in tall socks. We all exchanged post cards and most them were crappy but we learned how to make boxes for them and they are pretty awesome. Carli came up to visit the Gorilla and I today. We couldn't let her come to Florence without taking her to Anna's so we obviously brought her there for lunch and then we were in the mood for some dried fruit so we took her to the market. Photog crit today, went splendid. I honestly learn something insane about my photog teacher each class and today she told us about an outer body experience she had at a cemetery. She said when she came back from the cemetery she realized that she had left part of herself there. I am not sure what to think of this hairy-mole-hippie-commune living-communist. Apertivo at Noir for Caz's last night. On our way there a man stopped me in the streets and said "excuse me ma'am you dropped something. I being the worlds most dropping person, actually thought I dropped something as he pointed to the ground, I replied with a "what", and he looks me in the eye and says "Oh it was my heart". Still confused as if I really dropped something, I finally realized what he said but then was weirded out when I saw him continue down the street with a girl. The Gorilla suggested it was probably his sister. Unfortunately he was not too attractive.  I left dinner feeling rather nauseous  but decided that a diet coke would settle my stomach but then I felt like I was an 80 year old man with heart burn. Had a slight bit of a freak out because I realized at 10 p.m. that I still had 8 paintings to do and still had to finish studying for Art History. First signs of the old freak out Allison started coming back. I was able to get it done but I watched myself head down that path and it was bad. Bad allison. 3 am bed time.

Oh Monday Monday.

This week starts the infamous mid term exams, and by that I mean the "do it the night before" midterm exams. The stress free life is REALLY FREEING. The most bizarre thing happened in Italian class today. My teacher was absent last Monday from class because she has been tutoring the French Ambassador's son or something like that. We have had another teacher named Lorenzo, who I secretly have a crush on ( I guess it is not so much a secret any more) Last class she told us that Lorenzo would come to class on Monday and review for the midterm with us. When we arrived at class today, Lorenzo was indeed there, but the whole review part was not. Rather than reviewing for the midterm, Lorenzo actually gave us the midterm. He said something Italian and we all responded with a confirming Si and then he told us we couldn't talk. You should of seen the look on the faces of my class mates. We all just looked at each other and then looked at him with titled heads very confused. A girl in my class asked if it was the real Midterm and he said yes and then right after a girl my class asked if this was the practice midterm and he said yes. So for an hour, we took the surprise midterm. I left the class not knowing if I had just turned in my midterm or if I had just turned in a practice midterm, either way I think I did just fine. It was just a little unexpected. We took Caz and the boys to my favorite place in the world for lunch, duh Anna's. Obviously the boys liked it but they would eat dirt and like it but by the look on Caz's face, I think she thoroughly enjoyed it. The boys said their goodbyes and headed to Rome for a couple of days. I had a painting pop quiz and by that I mean I had a painting mid term where we had to finish a still life in class. Not too shabby. For dinner Caz and I met up with Sam to the shhhhit Hunter visiting from AA, and Effie, Dara, Mir, and Jen. The bread was to die for but I took it easy on the eating tonight after my million nights of gluttony. I came home and did a little work. Early bed time tonight, exhausted

pst frm fbrry twnty ffth tw thsnd ght.

(february 25, 2008) ...a monday

Sunday Is A Good Day To Do Nothing.

Worked very hard today to finish all of my work but even though I worked really hard, I didn't get all too much completed. This weekend I was a tourist in my own city and I found myself saying "this is my first time" to a lot of things, and I am so glad that my visitors came. Caz I know you are going to read this blog and I am sorry I didn't get you your journal before you left but expect the best one upon arrival at the 1210 Cambridge Court. Dinner at Erica and Sara's awarded itself to another night of feeling like my belly button was going to become a geyser like the one at Yellowstone, and that food was going to start oozying out of my ears. After eating scrumptious meatballs, pesto pasta, angel haired pasta, green beans, salad and bruschetta followed by nutella with bananas and biscotti's I fell into a food como and by that I mean we were all spooning on the couch and I zoinked out and woke up only to find that everyone else had already gotten up from the couch and I hadn't even noticed. My stomach seriously has grow out to different proportions that I didn't even know was possible. This really isn't good when I am expecting to be sleeping on the beach in just a couple of days in a two piece. I came home and went straight to bed. After too many nights and by too many I really two many nights of 4:00 am returns followed by 9:30 wake up calls, my body was pretty much shot. The Gorilla returned dumbfounded from Rome, and she fell right asleep, I came home, decided it was only appropriate to draw pictures of myself rolling around inside myself because I literally ate the world this weekend (gross) but in all seriousness, I think I am pregnant, Ji and Ji, you are now grandparent to a food baby.

Postness from Sunday February TWENTY fooorth twoo thoousand and aight.

poop goes the pigeon.

when michigan meets michigan in florence great things happen.

        

His Butt Looks Like That.

For some bizarre, unexplainable reason, I was not able to sleep in this morning. I think it was because I knew that I needed to get work done today in order to have another wonderful time with my friends. While I might be "care free" Allison, I can't help my anxiety dreams, they just happen. I worked on my painting mid-term and then met up with the crew for brunch (it was actually lunch, but I didn't eat breakfast yet today so it counted as both) before our educational and cultural afternoon. After lunch we headed to the Academia to the see the worlds most well known statue, the real deal, big man on campus, marble tukas, David. Caz and I decided that we didn't need some butchered english accent telling us about a painting or a sculpture and we decided to just use our eyes. They seemed to work a lot better. We romantically walked around the Academia together, telling each other different things that interested us. There are no words other than "Holy Shit" to explain Michaelangelo's fine creation. While the fake David stands in the Piazza de Signoria, and I have seen a dozen times, something about being in an inclosed room with nothing else around, made this marble spectacle truly incredible. Not sure if the David's millimeter pee pee had been jew-ified but Rose confirmed later that yes indeed Davids shlong is an uncircumcised one. And I am not going to lie in the least but he has one nice butt. After the Academia, I came back to finish the unfinished. For dinner, we headed to the infamous Il Latini, the restaurant where the Gorilla and I attempted to go to for her birthday only to discover on our way out that it was closed on Mondays, but it was not closed today. I didn't really understand the concept of how the restaurant worked until I got there. I was told that you had to wait outside and that the restaurant chooses whom they allow in. They only have two seating times for dinner, one at 7:30 and one at 10:30, so if you wanted a 9:15 dinner forget about it. Obviously Erica made reservations. I think I am going to hire Erica as my personal assistant to organize my life because she is actually a 20 year old with a mind like a 35 year old hip mother that just knows how to do everything whose mind is actually synced with ical. It is just incredible. I wish I was that organized and knew how to plan things like she does. Back off JLo Erica Levin is true wedding planner. As my dear friends would say....I love you Ricky Levi. So this Il Latini is located pretty close to the train station on a small road. I never seen something like it before, but people were gathered outside the restaurant in a mass huddle, pushing to try to get in. Lucky Ricky made a reservation because we didn't have to stand outside too long before they called our name. The people with reservations are allowed to enter first. Me, Caz, Kulick, Rose, Ricky and Sara gathered around a rather small table for six and waited for our waiter. Sitting on our table were two bottles of water and not just a bottle of wine but I would say a jug of wine. I am not sure how it all happened but within just a matter of time our table was filled with food. All of the sudden our waiter started bring out bruschetta and then bread and olive oil, then chicken pate, then brushutto, then caprese salads. This was just the appetizers. i was pretty much content at the end of our appetizers but I thought last night my stomach reached a new capacity, lets just say we had 4 more courses after this one. It is just too difficult to watch some of the worlds most delicious food sit right in front of your face and not be in the least bit tempted to chow down. For the second course we had three huge pasta dishes, a pesto and penne, a noodle and meatball and "little dishrag" noodles with boar sauce. I didn't even know I liked boars sauce but it was fabulous. It was served on a noodle that can be translated as "little dishrags" because they are cut with a knife that give them serrated edges. Following our pasta, came three kinds of breaded soup: a veggie, a tomato, and a bean soup. Next came the meats. From my past experience with five course meals, the meats have always been really freaky and unappetizing but I was feeling a little adventurous tonight and for some reason, even though I was pretty much stuffed, I decided to try them all. Little Bunny Foo Foo, I am sorry but I tried your cousin. Don't worry I won't be doing it again because you are much nicer to look at than to eat. Disturbing but true. Three glasses of wine later, three courses down, we were served potatoes and beans. And then four glasses of wine later, four courses down came the first portion of the dessert. Presented in a circle of fun, 6 different desserts filled our table. In the words of Rose of Michael to the Bloom, one of them "Jiggled like his butt". Normal human beings do not say that when talking about flan but then again Rose of Michael to the Bloom is not really a normal human being. We celebrated Kulicks birthday, and the waiter brought out ice cream topped with a firework. It was not just your average candle, it was actually a firework. We sang the H-to the appy B-to the day song and Rose captured a classic photo of triple chinned Kulick that just made me giggle out loud. Don't worry Kulick wasn't the only with a triple chin, we were all supporting the turkey gobbler. I thought we were done after this and I am sure you would think the same thing but guess again. More kept coming. We were served dessert wine (which makes the fav list next to the Bellini) and then their famous biscotti's and wine. I wore a dress tonight but if I had been wearing jeans, I probably would of just taken them off or they would of probably just ripped off because I was so full. I pulled my leggings down a little because they were getting to be uncomfortable. At this point it was 10:30. We all looked a each other and sighed. The waiter just had to top off the evening with strong shots of lemon cello. And th-th- th-that's All Folks. We wobbled back to Ricky's and Sara to attempt to prepare for the game (pre-game) because the night was still young, but I didn't do so good at preparing for the game because I thought I might ralph up a bakery, and farm. Rather loud people filled Ricky and Sara's apartment and I think Sara and I had a mental connection that led to visions such as a shot guns, awkward smiles, and the thoughts of running away. Ricky and Sara took us to their favorite "Space Electronica". I had many doubts about this place because I was told my numerous people to never step foot there but the fact the Ricky loved it let me know that it had to be pretty good. Rose decided to stay in because not remembering last night put a slight damper on his day and I am not sure he was as prepared for an Italian spring break as he thought he would be. Me, Kulick, Caz, Ricky, Sara, Buff Back bend-over-Brian and Ugly Adam dominated the dance floor. We ran into Susan T, Dana P and Port at the club. The club is exactly what you would think of a club with the name of Space Electronica. So much happened on there that is nearly impossible to explain. I saw a gay boy and his lesbi friend get pulled out of the girls bathroom with a one hand grab, I saw Caz fall in love with an Italian and dance the whole night with him (Caz..highly entertaining) I experienced Robyn "I am out of mind" O do a back bend while I was dancing with her and I was successfully able to imitate Sara and Buff-bend-over-backwards Brian's dance moves. It was incredible and I would return in a heart beat.
Another late night early morning return.

.Moocha seh Havah deh Peacheh seh.

post from february 23, on a saturday in the year of two thow sand and otto.

A Friday and In Florence. Now How Nice Is That To Say.

I woke up in my own bed this morning and MAN it felt good. This weekend I am staying here to host the worlds finest business men and one woman. Hailing from across the world (Hail to the those victors), my dear friends Caz, Kulick, and economical "put your food in your pants" Michael, the Rose of all Rosenbloom's are coming to Florence for their spring break. I woke up rather early to get some work done before they came because I have midterms next week and even though I am "do-little and get it done" Allison this semester, I had the "get it done" portion to do this weekend. As I walking over to Erica's, I just happen to see DP, Susan T, and Port walking down my street (not the typical jew crew camp chi connection but rather a jew crew chi-o connection) Then I turned the corner and standing outside a small little wine shop was Rose and Kulick. The Michigan crew finally arrived and we headed to the infamous "Oil Shoppe" that everyone and their mothers have been raving about to me for weeks. I know there are other sandwich places in this city but there ain't nothing like Anna's and I have just been a little nervous to venture our for fear I might spend my money on something that is just not as scrumptious. Well the rumor was true, it was quite a tasty little booger. I split a "chunky chicken" and meat ball sandwich with Sara. This lunch started off the "eat so much you can't breath trend". I seriously think I stretched my stomach to new proportions this weekend and that this not so good when I am expected to be wearing a bathing suit next weekend for my spring break extravaganza in Malaga Spain. The weather here has really perked up and today was just the sunniest and friendliest day. After lunch it was imperative to get gelato. Vorre un gelato cono con menta e cafe, 2 euro. We headed to the Ponte Vecchio to show our visitors the world most splendid view. The fun kinda ended with a huge pigeon decided to sit on top of the ledge over Sara's head and take not just a poop, but a dump on her. At the time we all tried to convince Sara that it wasn't that bad but now that I think about it, it was actually disgusting. We didn't have an archeological dig in our agenda for the day but on a our way home, we took a little side tour to do some excavations on the cobble stones of Florence. Out of the pure excitement of having my friends in town I decided to play with my rings, moving them back and forth from hand to hand when all of the sudden one of my rings hit a gust of wind and flew through the air into a deep crevice of a cobble stone. This is when the archeological excavation began. Because he was now in Europe, Kulick thought that he could be a god and or Hercules and lift a stone from the ground in order to get my ring out. With all of his might he successfully failed but luckily I had the worlds most prepared human being standing right next to me and Erica decided to be a little more realistic and hand me a pin. I wasn't going to let my ring my mother gave me stay in Florence forever, so naturally, I sat on the ground and began the great dig. People started to gather around the site, wondering what the heck I was doing. 5 minutes later, I held the jewel in my hand and the rest was history. Everyone went back to Erica's and Sara's for a little siesta and I headed to the art school to "get it done". Around 6:45 everyone came over to enjoy some bubbly on my terrace over looking the Duomo. Multiple times this weekend I found myself just thinking WOW, I am the worlds luckiest person. The weather was perfect, stars were hanging in the sky, champagne was in our glasses and we were all together, what more could you want. 5 bottles later, we headed to another top notch restaurant for dinner. Aqua el Due, located on the street of Via del Aqua, is owned by the same family as the "American Brunch" restaurant. Erica and I split the worlds most delicious balsamic steak that actually just caused me to drool while I am typing this. Two dessert plates later, and completely stuffed to the brim we headed back home for a little preparation before the game. In the collegiate world, we call this pre-game. We headed to a club called Central Park that is actually located on the out of the outskirts of the park, but it would be weird to call it "outskirts park", thus it is called Central Park . The club was divided into three different rooms. One room for the loungers, another from the Americans and another one for the Italians. The divide is quite noticeable and the Italian style of dancing is more like body thrust that could give some one a migraine while the American style of dancing is more like making babies on the dance floor that could actually give someone a baby. The only thing about this divide is that it is really not that divided because the Italian men seem to be more interested in making babies than having migraines, so there seemed to be many more Italians on the American side rather than Americans on the Italian side. Caz and I felt like putting on our Italian man mentality (but without the same intentions) and venture to the Italian dance floor. I hate to make this divide seem so strong but I can only speak the truth. I only the speak the truth. Caz and I jumped into the middle into the middle of the dance floor and all of the sudden I realized my arms were imitating the man next to who was probably on an acid trip, even though I have no idea what one of those feels like his eyes were slightly closed and he was workin it. Now that I think about it, maybe he wasn't on an acid trip because else was dancing that way, but Caz and I thought it was only appropriate to freakishly move around hands around our body like a snake. I met a stinky Italian who had crooked teeth and Caz met a blonde stallion. However we got a little tired after a while and came back to the American dance floor do a little solja boy dancin. I think Caz and I lost our feet at Central Park because we were dancing fools. Sara got freaky with buff-back-bender-Brian and we just made fun of her. Kulick was like Superman and saved us from all of the creepers. It is an interesting phenomena this whole Italian aggressiveness. I am minding my own business, dancing with my friends, and I just don't think it is so nice to come up behind and grab my stomach or touch my butt, it is creepy. Every time one of us would get heckled by the hecklers we would yell for Kulick, aka he was all of our boyfriends. Rose must have been so excited to be in Italy, that he forgot to remember the evening. Around 3:45 we decided it was appropriate to head home. Indeed it was. The rest of the girls that I was with probably still think I am crazy but regardless of where we are I REFUSE TO TAKE A CAB. God gave me legs, God made florence a small city and it just doesn't make sense to me. I hurdled up the boys and told them that they could get 2 sandwiches at a cafe for the price of one cab ride, when this city is beautiful, why not take a walk. I will be the first to admit that it was a rather far walk, but I enjoyed every second of it, walking down the street arm in arm with Rose and he word vomited the most random things. He just really wanted pizza. I discovered one trick to this whole explanation as to why Italians are much thinner than Americans and it is because they don't have "late night" pizza places on every corner and it is actually impossible to buy any kind of snack food past 11. I like that idea, but Michael sure did not. 4:30 bed time but what a great day, what a great night, with great friends, great food, and great times. It is just great to be great. You can call me the Al-lison the Great!

postness from the friday of february in the day of 22 in the year of 2008

Catch Up For the Post Up.

As I am sure many of you have noticed (actually Mom you are probably the only one still reading this, so this one is for you) that my postings are rather "ritardo" as they would say in Italy or delayed as they would say in a not so offensive way back in the States. So this week past is going to be similar to VHI's BEST WEEK EVER and I am going to give you the high lights from everyday so that I can finally keep you updated on a day to day basis, not a week behind.

MON to the Day:
Finished pimp faces portrait.

TUES to the Day:
Obviously I didn't do my photo project until the day it was due. And by that I mean it was due today. Double exposures for this project. Who knew I would turn "feminist-girls-gone-wild" (holly hughes, would love this work) and go all nudy artsy and take pictures of my own hoo has and then double expose them with interesting textures. They turned out very interesting, but I am not so sure my mother, my father and or my grandparents would be too happy if I posted these ones. But maybe next time.

WEDNES to the Day:
I finished watching the "Ignorant Fairy" in Italian lab, and the wife whose husband died in an action packed car crash, the same husband who had an secret lover, ended up falling in love for the gay man, they kissed but then in the end we find out that she has aids. Quite the interesting fairy tale if you ask me. Chocolate tasting after class and then apertivo.  A homeless man put his arm around me and that when I decided it was time to go home.  

THURS to the Day:
I discovered a new part of town today. It is finally getting warmer here, and I was even getting a little shweaty in my pits. I had to take one more role of film today and decided that just in case my hippie-lovin-hairymole-that-I-just-discovered-was a-former-communist-who-lived-in-a-hippie-commune didn't like my porn star pics (they are vulgar, its just weird developing pictures of your own chest and then having the one boy in your class, whom you happen to know since 7th grade but haven't seem since, is developing right next to you and then tells you that girls should remain hairless from their eye brows down..it just gets awkward) After book arts, I grabbed a bite to eat with Sara and Erica at this fabulous "american brunch" resuturant. It is actually called American Brunch on the outside. Egg white omelet, american coffee, and ketchup pretty much changed my life. I grabbed my camera and just wandered the streets for a good three hours, turning left or right without reason. I discovered a new street, where I collected mental photographs of men play chess in the sun outside a park. Shasty-pants ("what up bitches" 's new name) cooked up an Italian suprise for family dinner. Worked in the photog lab until 11, then home to bed.

THIS POSTEDNESS IS FROM THE WEEKNESS OF 17 THRU THE 21 OF FEBRUARY.

sunday is a good day to do nothing.

We took the 8:21 train to Milan and then the 12:35 train from Milan to Florence, arriving in Florence at 4:15.  The Gorilla was in a rather vicious/very mean Gorilla mood, and I was just still sick, so I tried to avoid the Gorilla as much as possible for fear should would break loose from her cage and have a Gorilla attack.  I came home, unpacked and then headed to the Asian market to pick up some grub for dinner.  Salad, with grilled chicken, canned corn, canned green beans, and canned garbanzo beans with some sprinkles of parmesan, topped with balsamic vinegar with a side of water and an Asian pear for dessert.  I tried to make it to bed early tonight because I just want to get over this cold, but it doesn't seem to be going so well.  Off to bed, ciao ciao! 

Like I said, Sunday is a good day to do nothing.

a land for gnomes and yodelers alike.

miss swiss.

while he was taking the picture, she was taking the picture and then I took a picture of the picture. and all the while, picasso watched.

just looking.

how do you really tell someone you love them?

jewish american princesses for sale. only 50 francs.

     

Bottom line: Hearts should never be taken to a cheese grater.

"My Blueberry Nights"- directed by Wong Kar Wai, starring Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Rachel Weisz and a surprise casting of Norah Jones. (killer cast) Even though 90% of the time Natalie Portman's voice makes me want to gouge my eyes out, she did make quite an impressive and perfect southern gambling fool. I am not going to tell you anything about the film, other than to go see it because I didn't know anything about it before and it made it that much more enjoyable. Oh wait. I can't hold myself back, and all I have to say is keep all keys you have, whether they were lost and you found them, someone gave them to you or whatever the case maybe because rather than locking or closing a door forever, you may want to revisit that place, or the person again. At first I thought I was going to be having an ultra romantic, post-valentines day, evening with the Gorilla because we were the only people in the theatre but thank goodness three other people showed up or else a. I didn't know if they would still show the film for only two. b. my career as a world traveling art-directing writer photographer designer would be shot and all hopes of ever finding my one true husband would have gone out the window. The paparazzi might get a hold of this story and head lines would scream "Allison Isenberg goes to the movies with A GORILLA" and the rest would history. (random stream of thought...its getting late...give me a little credit) Anyhoo. I have never been more terrified in my entire life by a preview but before the film started a short clip of a human hand taking a human heart to a cheese grater appeared on the screen. For a minute this madness went on, I almost died and threw up all in one sitting. The punch line for the commercial was obviously in German and clearly I had no clue what it said. I just can't even imagine what they would say. I am not sure there is any analogy you could come up with that would be like taking your heart to a cheese grater. The Swiss are sure messed up. This morning we woke up around 9:30 a.m. to catch our free morning breakfast. I didn't think it was possible but the couple sitting in front of me brewed up the worlds most nauseating breakfast concoction that almost made me not want to eat anymore and that is really hard to do. Bread dipped in yogurt with cheese and bologna is not what I call a delicious breakfast. After the couple scarfed down their own prepared barf, the man, with his two hands did a magic trick and split an apple in half. It was incredible. I tried to repeat the same task and really hurt myself. Maybe I have to start eating yogurt-cheese-bologna toast to do that type of trick but it is really not worth killing my insides to do such a thing. We decided to make jelly sandwiches for lunch after looking into the huge holes in our wallets. We were going to go shnuggle back up in our warm beds after breakfast but we decided we didn't want to miss the Saturday morning market. Completely different from the one in Barcelona, and more similar to the farmers market back home, tents lined the river on the new and old side with little stands selling fruits and veggies, cheese and flowers. We taste tested real dried bananas without any added sugars. After being threatened to have my baby hands chopped off at the market back in Florence, I am a little terrified to sample anything. We went window shopping and found the Gorilla a new pari of glasses. She is now officially European. When then made our way to the Picasso museum but of course there was an adventure in trying to go. The first attempt, I was 2 francs short, so we had to go to an ATM but the first ATM would only let you with drawl 50 francs and not that I was worried I wouldn't be able to spend it all, I thought that I should really try to save my money when in less than 24 hours my dream world of 1 to 1.2 vanishes and my bank account has to start thinking in euros again. We went to another ATM and then back to the Picasso museum. Luckily the city is really small so it wasn't as big of a shlep as it sounds. The Picasso museum was not what I expected it to be like at all but rather than rooms filled with his work, it was more focused on the documentation of Piscasso's life in his studio with this wife, sitting around the time kitchen table with his children, and intimate shots with his dog, through the photographic lens of Picasso's good friend, David Douglas Duncan. The pictures truly made Picasso's life come to life. It was incredible. See photogs above. Both Pablo and his wife look like human paintings. They were just born such interesting and uniquely beautiful people. In every photo Duncan was able to capture the small details of their lives. I bought a poster. Inspired and in an artsy, self-reflecting mood, we bought a bag of chestnuts and sat along the water to watch the swans and geese make war with each other. This city is so magical. We headed back home for our jelly sandwiches and apples for lunch in the room and then made our way back to our new found hot spot (aka we came here yesterday) for coffee at a place called Sjug, or Hug located right on the lake. For dinner, we headed over to the new side of town for a delicious Asian delight and then came back to the hostel to soak up a little television. Not that I even want a television in my apartment and am actually pleased that we don't have one but tonight I was craving just a little trashy television. The Gorilla and I sat in front of the lobby television watching 101 hottest celebs in German for almost an hour. One thing I have yet to understand is how the German language has so many consonants in one word. In our hot chocolate yesterday, chocolate was spelled with an X. Pretending like we understood every word the dub-over voice was saying, we sat there until we decided that we should probably allow the man who was waiting in the lobby for us to finally leave so he could watch the show he wanted to. Early bed time because early bedtimes are just the greatest. Why not?