Pisa and Lucca. The oil farm schtick and men in winter still like to lick.

The alarm didn't go off at 7:00 am but rather the Gorilla went off at 7:24 screaming "ah what time is it?" "we are not going to make it" "allison, shit we are not going to make it". (The "it" the Gorilla was referring to was the bus that was living at 8 am that was going to take us to Pisa) 7:40: The Gorilla and I are half-way to the train station. 7:45: The Gorilla and I are at the bus station but we don't see anyone. 7:47: The Gorilla calls our friend Max to see if the bus had already left but he doesn't pick up. 7:48: We are the first people to arrive at the bus station for Pisa. If our apartment ever went into flames and we were told we had 10 minutes to get down stairs, we would be able to get fully dressed (in cute clothes, might I add), make up-uped, teeth brushed and even breakfast for the road and survive (granted the fire was on the other side of the apartment and it was a slow moving fire) . I decided that waking up for class an hour early is over rated when I can do it all in 10 minutes. Despite the fact the Gorilla cut her throat on piece of glass running there, and by that I mean, the air was so cold and we were so tired/slash getting sick, that it felt like she had cut her throat on a piece of glass. We got aboard the rumble-tumbler, and by that I mean, it was a short bus that had one wheel shorter than all the rest so it was rockin' and rollin', hence the name rumble-tumbler. Typical I narco narcoded all the way to Pisa. We get off the rumbler tumbler and arrive at the leaning tower of Disney Land, aka the leaning tower of Pisa. The tower was on the out skirts of the city because apparently back in the day they wanted to be "different" from all of their neighbors like Luccan's and Florentines and put their duomo and their baptistry on the outskirts to protect them from invaders. The tower was built to look out at the ocean and the land. Because the city is close to the water, and the land is unstable and they didn't build enough support to hold up the tower, thus the nice lean. Recently (and by recently I mean in the past 100 years..recently in European time can mean anything from 1 year to 100 years) engineers were able to devise a way to stabilize the tower aka. make its shoulder lean (let me see your shoulder lean). But they could of technically straightened that puppy out but that town makes nice money in the bank from all of the tourists. Obviously the Gorilla and I did what we do best and took the most ridiculous pictures in front of the tower. Look above for fun and games. After Pisa, the rumble tumbler quasi-took us to an olive oil farm/vinard located between Pisa and Lucca for another 5 course meal. I say quasi because we only got lost 4 times before we actually got there. Now I can not say for sure it 4 times, it might have been 5 because I was doing what I did best and um yeah I slept the whole way there. The olive oil farm was a small family owned farm, located on the most beautiful plot of land I have ever seen. The view was incredible. We took a small tour of the farm, but during the summer months families can rent part of the farm and live in a house with a full backyard, not to mention a private pool and free food. Apparently this season was not such a good one because some type of fly got into their olives and they were only able to make oil during the month of november for the entire year. Bread, followed by Risotto, followed by brushcetta, followed by beef and chicken, followed by grilled vegetables, followed by some more bread and concluding with 8 different flavors of pie to sample made up our lunch. The Gorilla and I met a pleasant group of girls this time around, and our entire table managed to finish everything they served us minus the freaky beef. After the last super-lunch, the tour continued on to Lucca. Unfortunately, because we got lost so many times going to the olive oil farm, we didn't have that much time to explore Lucca. BUT I finally found a pair of boots and they were only 24 euro. In honor of my mothers birthday, I bought myself some shoes. Happy Birthday Momma Jenny Isenberg! I got back from Lucca around 5, the Gorilla and I thought we should be normal American 20 year olds and go out. This is the part of the night where it just gets weird. Everyday something has to happen to the Gorilla and I that is either freaky or just plain old bizzare. This is that point in our day. We go to this bar called Astro or Aster or as the Gorilla calls it Asshole and we decided to go down in the basement to dance because I got my new dancin boots on and I needed to test them out. My freaky radar started ticking the minute I stepped down the stairs because of the nasty russian, hairy air pit mixed with piss and b.o. smell. The next sign of freakiness was that they had a fog machine. Finally the last clue of freakiness was the an extremely large population of young Italian boys (not men, but high school students) crowding the entire basement. Regardless all the freaky signs that my freak-o-meter of sending off, the Gorilla and I continued downstairs to dance. We start dancining with each other and then we start dancing with two other guys that seemed normal, but fun (normal, as in greecy hair, tight jeans, but not pelvic thursting and purring at you boys, thus making them normal) All of the sudden the boy that I was dancing with grabs my face, tells me that I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and then in no time at all her proceeded to LICK MY NECK. YES, LICK MY NECK. YUCK! I instantly wipe it off, give him the look of death and run away. I have a permanate non-visible scar bigger than Harry Potter's lighting bolt. After my freak-o-meter almost caught on fire, the Gorilla and I decided it was a good idea to head home and indeed it was.

New York has Harlem, Florence has Via Ponte alle Mosse

Fridays are wonderful and this friday was exceptionally wonderful.  Our roommates went to Venice for the weekend (yippie skippie doo) and the Gorilla and I had our Italian wonderland all to ourselves. After a rather long night, we slept in and by that I mean we woke at 5 am and stayed awake until 7 am while the devil did his damage at the gates of purgatory (aka my street) and then we went back to sleep and re-woke up at 12 pm.  I am not sure if you can technically count that as sleeping-in but we didn't get out of bed until then.  We made a delicious breakfast: our speciality, eggplant-spinach-tomato-omelet-in-a-pita delight and a big glass of black-as-death coffee (well, mine was more like black as death coffee with a side of milk, while the Gorilla's is straight black, she comes from the jungle and is thus able to drink death).  We decided to have breakfast on the roof because it was a beautiful morning. We met our neighbors, I think it was the same guy that saw the Gorilla's hoo hoo's the day before and we waved hello to the Duomo climbers. We decided to disinfect our house after the animals left, so as we used to do in the Isenberg household back in the day, we had a house cleaning party. I even mopped the floor and did a load of laundry.  Our weekend plans were up in the air (we knew we were going to go to Pisa and Lucca with our group on Saturday but today and Sunday, we were not so sure), but we were told to do all of the touristy things in Florence this weekend before the herds of tourists started coming.  Apparently in the next month the population of students/tourists in Florence is going to double.  The Gorilla and I decided that we were going to climb the Duomo and 460 steps later, and a little out of breath, we were standing on top of the world. Literally.  We could see the entire city, in the north we could see the snow on the tip top of the mountains and in the south the Arno was glistening.  I met my future husband on top of the Duomo but unfortunately he a. didn't know it b. he was studying in Rome and c. his friend had booger in his nose. After our Duomo workout, I finally went to the phone store to get a new phone because when shit happens, when water flows, when bags fill up with rain and phones swim in the streams, they stop working.  So, for those of you dying to call me...which I know you all are, my phone now officially works. The Gorilla and I were going to rent bikes and explore the city but by the time we got to the rental place, they only had one bike left.  I was willing to get a child seat adapter and pull the Gorilla around town like at a circus when the clown rides around with a monkey but they didn't give us that option, so we opted out of doing the whole bike thing completely.  By the time we made the executive decision not to play circus, it was already 5 pm. The rest of our day gets a little weird but it is a typical example of an adventure for me and the Gorilla. We decided to go to an apertivo because like all other nights, we didn't want to cook.  I geniously decided to google "best apertivo in Florence" and found a place that was supposed to be the best apertivo in the whole city.  I get the Gorilla all excited, we even get all dolled up. We started walking to this place called "Elliot Braun Bar", the Gorilla finds the street that it is located on on the map and we make our way there.  We assumed like all hoppin' places in Florence, that it would be relatively close but no it was not, not at all. I didn't even know that Florence had a ghetto, but I am a witness to it, and it does! We finally found the street that the bar was located on, only to walk for another 20 minutes, realizing at this point that we were no longer on the map. We finally get there and it was closed. We walked to the ghetto of Florence to eat at the cities (supposedly) best apertivo and it was CLOSED.  Come to think about it, it didn't even look like it had been open for over ten years. Probably because it was in the ghetto. The night only gets better.  We haul our hungry tummies back to our neck of the woods but obviously the adventure was not that easy.  We had to go to the bathroom really bad and peeing our pants was not an option.  We stop at one hotel because all of the coffee bars were closed but apparently the hotel manager tried to convince us that it was closed, even though we were standing inside the hotel. We walk another 2 minutes and go to another hotel. For the fear of being rejected again, I, in the heat of the moment, decided that it would be a good idea to throw out an accent when asking to use the restroom.  "Excuse me sir, my friend and I just missed our dinner reservation and we really need to use the restroom, do you mind?" was how I asked.  The Gorilla believed I sounded similar to a deaf Australian but it worked.  Either he pitied me for having such a bad accent or he was truly concerned that we had missed our dinner reservations and felt sorry for us (which doesn't really make sense why we needed to use his restroom, but like I said, it worked) On the way out, I made the Gorilla thank him. We finally found a pizza place somewhere between the ghetto and home because by then we were not too concerned with what we were going to eat for dinner (we wake up every morning saying that we are going to be "healthy" but that has yet to happen) We go to this restaurant, order pasta and pizza from a waiter who looks like he stuck his head in a vat of olive oil. Throughout our entire dinner, he kept stopping my to sing songs in my ear, give us free wine and make weird eye contact with both me and the Gorilla.  An hour later, and a little tipsy from the free drinks, we decided to leave.  Satisfied with both the meal and the price of the meal we headed home, leaving oil head a little tip.  We hadn't made it down the street before oil head comes running after us, calling for us.  At first I thought he wanted to get our attention and tell us something, then I realized he was holding something and I thought he wanted to give us back the tip we had left him.  I yelled back to him, "No, its for you". I repeated it several times but he still kept waving and calling for us.  Finally, I went back to see what he wanted and he was holding my ring that I had left on the table by accident (the Gorilla and I were romantically sitting together and she wanted to see a ring my mom had given me) When I met up with him, he gracefully put my ring back on finger and then he kissed my hand.  A little bit of oil dripped on to my hand in the process.  At this point in the evening, I was spent and the Gorilla and I came home and went to bed.  

The Devil Does Not Wear Prada and All Other Divine Comedies.

No. No. No. The Devil does not wear Prada but rather the Devil wears neon orange onesies with two white strip reflectors on his legs and sits in a bull dozer and has decided to demolish my street with his sledge hammer, pitch fork and all other loud machines that shake my building.  For a little bit, I thought the devil lived in my water heater but I figured out how to restart it if it god-for bid goes out again, so I know he doesn't live there anymore but he definately lives outside my window. In Florence they are always doing construction just like they are at U of M, but for some reason they believe that my beautiful street needs some work and they have decided to rip up the side walk on my street. I don't hate that they are doing this construction but what I do hate is that they only do the construction from 12 am to 3am in the morning and then again from 6 am to 8 am in the morning. Why? I don't know but what I do know, is if they don't stop I am a. never going to sleep again because apparently they won't be done until the end of February and b. I am going to kill them. I even tried sleeping with ear plugs in but the sounds eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH cannot be stopped by little orange pieces of foam.  Besides the fact that I woke up to a dream about Dante's Inferno ( because I have seen a million images of what hell looks like in the past couple of days) only to find out it was just Jack the Ripper and Mr. Hammerhead ripping apart my street aka the devil.  Besides that.... TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY THUS FAR. Life is good. I woke up for book making class, learned how to make photo transfers 4 different ways and then our class headed to see an exhibit on the illuminated scrolls. Talk about years of hard work. One monks' sole job for his entire life was to paint parts of the scroll red. I get attention deficit disorder just going to look at them, these dudes spent their lives doing the same thing. It was incredible to see the process.  My teacher is so knowledgeable and interesting to listen to (just the way she presents herself is fascinating and I might have to kidnap her and bring with me on all of my tours because the past few guides I have had have equaled = zzzz)  We got out of class early only to go eat at the worlds best sandwich shop...duh...Anna's.  The usual. Repeat after me. tomato, mozzarella and what...yes...you know it...Tuna on flat bread! The Gorilla and I introduced a few of our classmates to our second home.  Following lunch we strolled back home to kill some time before our next adventure of the day...TEA TASTING. We sat up on our delectable roof top, sun glistening in all and I wrote some e-mails, and the Gorilla painted. Zach and Cody...you think you live the sweet life...ya no...I do.  So about this whole afternoon adventure of TEA TASTING. Basically my program rockers my boxers off and has a million and a half free opportunities of fun.  This week is TEA TASTING. Did you hear that TEA TASTING (I for some reason feel the need to capitalize it because it is just so cool) There were supposed to be 6 other people for the tasting but only the Gorilla and I and our two (quasi-good) other roommates (the best of the 4) showed up and then our group leader dude (who happens to be very attractive but has an unfortunately small forehead, hopefully he will be blessed with a mans worst nightmare, a receding hairline because he could use a tiny bit more space up there) Anyhoo. The TEA TASTING was at this resturant called Mago Merlino something something (Magical Tea). We arrived there at 2:45 (granted I have class at 4:00) and are welcomed by a 65 year old hippie who owns the place and makes all of the teas.  The restaurant (which was actually a tea bar) had a main entry area and it was filled with stained glass Moroccan lanterns, indian rugs, incense in all four corners and an interesting display of color strings that were interwoven across the ceiling.  On one of the walls there was a map of the entire world with different arabian characters and illustrations on it. In the back part of the bar there was a lounge with large fluffy pillows surrounding the circumference of the room. No chairs. Just pillows. Apparently Mr. Mago Merlino is only open during the night from 10pm-3am and you can drink tea and smoke hookah, but upon special request you can come during the day (hence we went at 2:40pm) Mr. Mago (the hippie man..who now that I think about it would be great lover for my photo teacher if she was not an outright feminist lesbian) brewed us three different kinds of tea: chi, green, and then one that tasted like black licorice.  I have never in my entire life had such delicious tea. I think he put some type of drug in it because for the first time the Gorilla and I were actually enjoying our time with our roommates.  We told classic stories of ralphing, learned about Mrs. Rumplash's terrible decision to feed the class pet, a hamster, named Thunder, a piece of cheese because it died and the Gorilla shared a classic tale about her father killing his own cat out of love. We sipped tea and ate orange cakes, chocolate crispy yummy-ness-ness and ginger snaps. Mr. Mago was working up a storm to brew us these teas. He travels four times a year to different places like India and Africa to learn about different teas.  He was extremely interested in our perspective about the election and we got in a pretty deep convo with him about it.  He has the voice of a man who has been smoking for 50 years, a heart of a grandfather who loves his grandchildren and dresses in Indian gowns and wears slippers.  As I said earlier, we got there at 2:40 and we giggled and sipped our way through 3 hours of tea fun.  We missed 90% of our photo class but good thing, our photo class only has 6 people in it and three of us were at the tea tasting. We showed up to class 2 hours late and our teacher was so happy we went to the tea tasting, counted us present and thats the story.  I skipped my first day of class consciously, and I was rewarded with the mark of presence. My life is good. After my one hour of photog, I stopped by the il centro (grocery store) to pick up a box of spinach for dinner. (They sell pre-cooked spinach in a plastic box and it is wonderful...I was craving it!) Tonight the Gorilla and I and the bad "camera gamer" went to a bar called Rex to listen to our sweet innocent receptionist at the art school sing Janice Joplin.  Okay for one thing, never make judgements about your sweet little receptionist where ever you are because she probably has another ego, lives another life and is just sweet and innocent at the desk but the minute she leave she someone else. This is exactly how mine is.  We walked into the bar and screaming at the top of her lungs behind jail cell bars made out of rope, is our sweet little innocent receptionist belting her little heart out.  It was incredible.  Still in shock but in a good shock, I walk around the corner to find my Italian teacher with her hands in the air singing and dancing to the music with her fiance. This country is like fairy tale land and I love it.  Half the art school was there rockin out and I couldn't have been happier.  I love the students in my school much more than the kids on my program.  A old hip man, that might have been Richard Branson's brother, started talking to me aka hitting one me.  Apparently he and his wife just signed with Barney's and Nordstroms to sell a line of purses but he is also a producer and does something with music.  I overheard him talking to girls before me and all I could think of is a. what are you doing here in this bar b. where is your wife and c. you could be my dad.  Thank god the bar was slowly closing and we peaced out of there because I smelled a huge fat lier and I don't like talking to my dad at bars unless you are my real dad nor do I like lying old men trying to be cool when really they are hitting on girls half their age. We stayed there until 2 and then realized we were on the same street as Mr. Mago's tea place so we knocked on the door and went in for some tea.  Well I realized something really important, only go to the things that are free because they are free for a reason. IT WAS 8.50 PER PERSON for a pot of tea.  I love you Mr. Mago but 8.50, come on. But I did have sweat dreams. 

New Popes and other hopes.

all the girlies stand in the line for the bathroom. 

New Cape. New Face.

New Kicks. New Tricks.

oh wait and remember when...

Remember when you watched Rear Window 4 nights in a row and still haven't finished it.

Remember when you bought a pope candle from the euro store. 

Remember When..

Remember when I woke up and the heat was out again.

Remember when I walked by Aliza's computer and had a seizure because there was so much pink on it.

Remember when Emily sat outside our door talking to her boyfriend until three in the morning.

Remember you face planted.

Remember when you had a hair ball in your throat but it was really peanut butter.

Remember when the prime minister saw your tits.

Remember when you waved to him the next day on the roof.

Remember when you left your ring on the table and thought the waiter wanted to give you your change back.

Remember when you saw pigs sitting at a table.

Remember when you saw pigs sitting with a head dress.

Remember when you were walking through the meat market and saw you could have free samples of Volasorapter.

Remember how every time you walk through the straw market the same man tells you he likes your shoes and all you can do is look at him dumbfounded and say "really...is that what you like..did you even see my shoes today?"

Remember when your secretary at your school had another life and freakily danced and sang to Janice Joplin.

Remember when your dad approached you at the bar and proceeded to tell you he was basically Richard Branson.

Remember when you sang the lion king song out the window holding the orange you (the Gorilla) stole from the prime minister's house. 

Remember when the "barbie of america" came and you still don't know who they were talking about. 

Remember when you so were hungry and wanted to eat gelato but instead you opted for special-k.

Remember how you got the special-k...oh yeah..the il centro guy knows you because you come in every day that he convinced his manager to let you in after hours.

Remember when you got the special-k and decided that special-k with chocolate was better than regular special-k and then proceeded to eat the whole box.

Remember when you told the American girl you didn't speak english.

Remember when every time you walk down the street you pretend to don't speak english.

Remember when the kick back made you do a face plant.

Remember when you went tea tasting and the hippie tea man pulled your toe to wake you up.

Remember when Mrs. Rumplash fed Thunder, the hamster, a piece of cheese and he died.

Remember when your dad loved his cat so much that he killed it.

Remember when Nick had an unfortunately short forehead...excuse me have you seen me forehead?

Remember when you met Alex the Australian on the street and named him Ralph because he Ralphed all over the street.

Remember when you walked to the ghetto in Florence for food and you didn't even know there was a ghetto of florence...but there was.

Remember when you walked across town to eat 5 euro gelato.

Remember when your photo teacher yelled at the man walking on the street "excuse me"

Remember when your roommate told you that she was concerned that if she lost her weight she would loose her boob weight.

Remember when your roommates went out of town and you were so happy.

Remember when you pooped your pants. 

Remember when you drank white stuff and you wondered if it came from a human.

Remember when you got masks from the euro store and danced with the tambourine and took pictures.

Remember when Jack the Ripper, and his side kick Mr. Hammerhead sat out your window at 6 in the morning to rip apart your street.

Remember how everyday you go to Anna's to eat in order to avoid cooking. 

Remember how you ate so many gummies that you thought you were going to throw up.

Remember when you opened the bottle of wine and it rocket powered into the sky.

Just remembering is the best thing in the entire world. 

-enaj and fata 

Vorri Un Cono da 2 euro.

Every week for an hour I have what is called Italian lab. It is a required class where we are supposed to practice our Italian and learn about Italian culture.  There are only 4 kids in the class and my professor is the cutest little Italian fashionista.  In class today we learned how to order gelato and the names of the different flavors.  This class session was highly imperative to my success in learning the Italian language and was truly educational. How will I become Italian if I don't even know the most important words like how to order gelato? In order to get the full experience of ordering gelato, we obviously had to go out in the real world and practice, hence we went to a secret gelatoria that only Italians go to.  For those less experienced, there are two types of gelatorias, one for the tourists and one for the Italians.  You will have to come to visit me in Florence and I can show you the secret "real" gelatorias. As a test we all had to order gelato in Italian or else we could not get any. I obviously aced it...and I will have no problem taking on this test in weeks to come.  Apparently every week we go on a different field trip or watch Italian films.  I love this city. On a more serious note, my future husband, the beloved Heath Ledger passed away today and much grief was felt in the Via Dei Ginori this evening.  Like the shot heard around the world, a bomb hit our apartment and the Gorilla and I were truly devastated.  In order to give Heath a true moment of silence, it was necessary to escape our apartment because we knew that Heath would not appreciate a mourning service with the worlds most annoying people.  The Gorilla and I escaped to mourn for our loved one. We went to the Arno with a bottle of wine, a jar of peanut butter (it cost 5 euros for a small jar...that is 8 dollars American, but for Heath Ledger's memorial service we were willing to do anything) We sat there and ate the entire jar of peanut butter and reflected upon his finest moments. After, we decided we should go to our favorite hang out spot since we were so close. The Gorilla finally got new converse high-top tennis shoes, white euro style and they ended up being a little too cumbersome for her Gorilla feet. Aka I did a little black boot kick back, like a bikes kick stand, I kicked back and the Gorilla flew back aka a straight up face plant, it wasn't anything short of a face plant.  I am proud to say that I am the first person to make a mark on her brand new kicks, needless to say that the next day the Gorilla made a mark of her own and dropped a huge tomato on them...BUT I WAS THE FIRST! We then went to our favorite spot only to find that tonights entertainment was a poetry slam.  Granted it would have been wonderful if a. we understood Italian or b. if it were in English. Again the cultural barrier wall went up and we were out of luck.  A little wino-ed out we went home and went to bed. RIP Heath Ledger. 

if you take away the positive all that remains is the negative.

this one is a negative but i think it is positive.

mommy i procrastinated. and it felt good.

Book making gives me ants in my pants and all I want to do is sing Frank Sinatra at the top of my lungs ands make journals/books all day long.  I started to make my first 30 paged journal and I will hopefully finish it this week (and yes, a picture of this one will be coming soon!) As I mentioned earlier this week, I am truly sticking to a non-stressful, go with the flow lifestyle while I am here, so after my morning class I went around town with the Gorilla to start and finish our photo assignment that was due today.  Some people in our class started 5 days ago but my inner photog vibes were not radiating until 2 hours and 20 min before it was to be done.  I only admit this because never in my entire obsessive compulsive, high anxiety life have I EVER done a photo project 2 hours before it was due! and DAMN it felt gooood! The assignment was "symbolism" (zzzz snore) and there was no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that I was going to go around this city and take pictures of all the religious symbols or of the thousands of penises this city has to offer (it would take years) nor was I going to do what my other roommate did (no not the Gorilla..the one that is not good at the "camera game") and take pictures of graffiti (snore snore what a bore). So I defined my own form of artistic symbolism and decided that anything that had a frame around it (that being a picture frame) was symbolic.  At home we hang art work on the walls, put pictures of our family on our grand pianos, and proudly post our diplomas from college (as if they are worth much) in pretty shiny frames.  They are symbolic because they have value and they are of the utmost importance. (this is what happens when you go to art school where all they teach you is to pull down your pants, bend over and make a nice warm poop...basically thats what I just did with this project, expect I like how they turned out) I went around with a big wooden frame and either made the Gorilla hold it up in the air ( if a scenic view was interesting) or approach people on the street if I thought they were worthy of becoming the new face for high art.  Along my journey, I met the most beautiful old woman, probably 90 years old.  The Gorilla and I asked to take her picture and she invited us into her apartment.  She lived in a ritzy apartment with a large courtyard, with a rather large collection of nice cars (I am not sure if those belonged to her or not...but wooo!) Her name was Anmanula. She wanted to do all of these different poses and wanted to find the perfect spot where the sun hit beautifully on her face to insure the photo was going to be top notch.  She was just wonderful.  The Gorilla and I are going to go back over there after we develop our film to bring her a copy and bake something for her (and by bake I mean, possibly buy a nice treat. we haven't tried to make sweets yet...so we shall see) We just want to befriend her because she seemed a little lonely and was excited that we wanted to take her photograph. We made it to photography on time, with a divine roll of film in hand. Anna's for dinner..typical. 

the aura.

t e x t

he.had.this.aura.around.him.but.no.one.knew.why.he.had.it.or.where.he.got.it. he.didn't.even. know.where.he.got.it. the.only.person.who.knew.was.now.lying.in.his.grave.dead. 

i know. -->

new week. new niche.

A new week. I still love Florence but this week even more.  My art history class met at Santa Croce today and we got a tour of the church where Dante's and Michelangelo's memorial graves stand.  I was also able to see the original crocefisso by Cimabue.  I am not into the religious aspect of any of these works but their history from an artistic perspective is fascinating. I am just on a little Jesus overload right now but is still incredible (when you are used to 8 nights of Hanukah and barc ata adoni is all that you know, Jesus on every corner, in every city can become a little overwhelming for a challah back girl.) Each day I find myself adapting more and more to the culture here and I am really going to try to learn the language because that is the one thing I should of actually considered studying before coming here (stupid american!) All I want to do is walk into a cafe and have some man say "Come potrei aiutarla? (how may I help you)" not "Yes yes, hello hello, what you like?" (in a butchered english accent) and then I would be able to respond in Italian. I have only been here for 2 weeks and have only had 3 full days of Italian class, so I think I can do it before I leave (like the little engine that could...I think I can...I think I can) On to my day. In painting class, we painted our hands and I will take a picture of it next class so you can see my masterpiece. I love to paint and I forgot that I knew how to. After painting the Gorilla and I still had to pick up supplies for our book making class so by the time we were done with everything we opted out of cooking and went a cafe on our street called Anna's. We love the sandwiches there and the barista slash owner loves us. We wave hello to him everyday even if we don't stop in. Tuna, mozzarella and tomato on a warm flat bread is the perfect dinner. Tonight I think Mr. Barista had a little too much to drink because he was quite the jokester.  It didn't end up being a bad thing though because some how the exact same sandwich and a diet coke we bought last week was 3 euros less this time. 4 euro for a large sandwich and a diet coke might be a solution to never having to cook again! (I like, I like) Right now I am sitting at the magical coffee bar I discovered yesterday.  I am high on life. I am sipping a hot latte on the second level of the shop that over looks fabulous art that is sporadically placed on the walls and I am observing the worlds most interesting people. Surrounded by shelves of books, intelligent men with Johnny Depp glasses, facing the Gorilla as I write my blog and watching her make art with colored pencils (an artists most prized tool) Wowza..what more could you want. I may never return to the other side of the Arno. (aka to my apartment) Right now a band is setting up to play a little diddly.  I am over looking a huge cello, a bar piano and four scruffy men preparing to play me some jazz. I used to want to live on top of Lake Louise in Canada and bake the worlds most delicious pie but now I am thinking I might want to own a bookstore-coffee shop-non-smoking bar on the other side of the Arno that invites local artists to display their work and bands to bring the towns spirits alive at night. I just can't decide. 

Oh and I am starting a journal (book) company with the Gorilla. It will be called Eanj + Fata. If you want a handmade, one of a kind journal please e-mail me at aji@umich.edu. Forget moleskin journals, Eanj + Fata is the new way to draw, write, think and be happy. 

Ciao!

P.S. (p.s.ihateyou should becoming soon. so excited. woot woot)

ginori road.

capturing tid bits and nips from bologna

sunday is a good day to do nothing when you have nothing.

We were going to go to Pisa and Lucca today and/or Cinque Terra with Paul, Chris, Chatty, Kathy and crew but again we woke up with no heat, no hot water and thus no energy to really move at all.  Instead, I made oatmeal and got right back into bed and organized my life. We all know that any organization in my life does not really exist, so what I really did was write emails, make a few designs for the Duds and some Addison Station fun. The Gorilla (I can't take any credit for this) found us a flight to Malaga, Spain for our Spring Break.  Anyone who wants to come, we have two bedrooms, just let me know! I finally got out of my warm bed, the only semi warm part of my apartment, at 1:00.  I was too cold to go to the store for grocery so I stirred  together a concoction for lunch and by concoction I truly mean a concoction (like a witches brew you make when you are five) Some canned tuna, a few garbanzo beans from a can, a scoop of white beans also from a can, topped off with tomato paste and caramelized peanuts on the side for dessert. Now don't you wish you were all here to join me for this fine Italian meal. A little nauseated after lunch, I climbed right back into bed to warm up.  It wasn't until 4:30 when the Gorilla and I thought it might be a good idea to start our photography project that should be half way done by Tuesday. I am no longer on the Allison-gets grey hair-stress ball schedule...so if I want to get out of bed at 4:30, so be it. Sundays are both the best and the worst days to wander the streets of Florence.  It is good because if you are like me and have an extreme staring problem and find yourself admiring the simple pleasures of life like people french kissing on the Ponte Vecchio or little kids in fur coats, then Sundays are a perfect opportunity to stare away with no shame at all because there are thousands of people out and about and they don't know that you are watching them. If you hate having to wait in line to walk down the street, then maybe Sundays should be indoor painting days for you.  But you can avoid the Disneyland line by being a little risky. Forget about the sidewalks and play a game of 007, hands up against the side of cars, its a simple game of dodge and pause.  We happen to stumble upon a gelatoria on our Sunday stroll and by stumble I mean we saw one at every corner and convinced ourselves that we had been walking long enough that we needed gelato.  1st stop: a Gelatoria filled with Italians; we knew this one was the real deal because across the street all of the Americans lined up for "ice cream". Anyhoo we finally got in line and realized that they cheapest gelato was 4 euro and that was far too expensive compared to the mouth watering gelato we had had in Siena the other day for only 2 euro.  With so many other options, we knew we could find a better place for a better price.  We skip out of line and head back by hour apartment because our freaky roommates were raving about a gelatoria that is only open on the weekends. We hauled our gelato craving butts across town. Keep in mind that this walk was solely guided by the burning desire to eat gelato, even though we had convinced ourselves that we were going back towards home so we could cut across the city and go to the park to exercise.  We finally made it there and ordered a half mint (mento) and half coffee (cafe) gelato on a sugar cone but only to find out after we ordered and after we tasted the gooey deliciousness, that it was 5 euro. 5 EURO! We weren't even planning on eating gelato today and when we decided to get some there was no way we were going to spend 4 euro and we wound up spending 5.  It only took me 1 minute to realize that those were the best 5 euro I have spent thus far and as I have learned in Italy, you get what you pay for and that gelato was worth every last euro cent. Our plans only continued to go through the roof from there on out. We walked to the park like we had planned after we scarfed our gelato down but by the time we got there it was pretty dark and I read somewhere that you are not supposed to walk in parks at night (actually I just used my brain and figured it wasn't a good idea). Instead we walked along the Arno and actually discovered a hidden coffee shop treasure. It is a two story coffee shop that is also a book store and on certain nights it entertains its visitors with a wide array of live bands. We are going to go there tomorrow night after class to read, write and do art, so I will let you know how it goes.  We finally got home around 7:30 and desperately needed a shower but Apollo (the god of sun, who is supposed to bring heat to the earth) had not shown up at our apartment yet so I buzzed Paul to see if we could shower at his place. You don't realize what a five minute shower can do...it changed my life, my looks and my smells in just five minutes (five minutes because that is how long Paul's shower stays warm) The Gorilla and I lucked out tonight because the twins invited us over for dinner.  All day I was a little worried as to what the Gorilla and I were going to do for dinner after our lunch concoction. Thankfully we did not have to cook. We had risotto, chicken, and broccoli with a side of wine and bread settled so beautifully in my tummy tum. I thought the night was going to end peacefully. Gelato had played so pleasantly with my walk and the warm shower followed by risotto made me so happy.  On the way home from dinner I envisioned that my landlord would be back from his weekend excursion with his family and he would have already fixed the heater an hour ago so I would be able to feel a little heat, and I would even be able to take a bubble bath if I wanted to and then I would be able to get my laundry. (Oh I forgot to mention that the washers are different from those back home and they don't allow you to open the door at all what so ever after you press the start button...so if you forget to add that one sock in the load...tough luck.  Well in my case it wasn't a missed sock, rather it was yet again another heat related issue.  Because the washer needs heat to finish its final cycle, the laundry can never finish until it gets its dose of hot h20 and since there is none of that stuff around here, I can't open the door until it does.  I didn't think about this when I put all of my underwear in one load, hoping for it to dry by Tuesday because supply is running low and demand is high...(hot water is a necessity) Where was I...oh yeah, so back to my envision...(yeah no matter how hard you think about something...it might not always come true) So I come home to find no hot water, no heat, no finished laundry and to top it off no internet.  God must be mad at me but I am not really mad about all of this "outage" nonsense because I was able to shower today, someone else cooked and cleaned my dinner for me and not to mention I am in the best city in the world.  I am the happiest 20 year old in the entire world. Early bed time tonight because tomorrow begins another week of school. Bed time story tonight: the beginning part of Rear Window because that is as far as I got yesterday before my eyes started to rest. Buonanotte! 

no baloney in bologna.

I woke up at 7:00 to find that not only was my hot water still out, but I geniously put two and two together and realized that the reason I started shivering last night and had to hide under my covers breathing in and out to warm myself is because the water system is connected to the heat and when the hot water is out, that also means the heating in the apartment is out.  Even if they are not connected in real life, they are connected in my apartment. I met up with my group at the train station at 8:00 and the train left at 8:22. Again with my narco tendencies, I fell asleep from the moment the doors closed to the moment they opened in Bologna. Bologna is a much more industrial looking city than Siena and thankfully not as touristy as Florence. Today was unfortunately cold (granted that I slept in a freezer last night and was never able to warm up throughout the whole entire day) and my four layers of shirts were just not enough. Our group (even though there were only 20 of us there were supposed to be 40 - the other 20 just didn't show up) split up into two groups and the Gorilla and I were luckily able to escape our roommates (for more detailed information including personal documentaries and photographs from two first- hand witnessess please look forward to a new blog written by two anonymous writers called p.s.ihateyou.blogspot.com...coming soon!) We went to two cathedrals. One had two sculptures done by Michelangelo in pre-David days. The cathedrals were so cold inside that I think I lost a lot of my brain cells to remember all of the historical details but I wrote them down in my other journal so I will revise this post later.  For lunch we went to a beyond delicious buffet style restaurant. Bologna is known for its food and the concept of American bologna comes from a version made in Bologna...imagine that! (bologna: the nasty, processed, pink stuff, non-jewish mothers give their children for lunch). Pasta Bolognese and tortellini also grew up in this small University city.  Bologna houses the 5th largest Cathedral in all of Europe  (behind Florence) and it is just a spectacular city.  Back to lunch...I don't think a lot of people on our program like the Gorilla and me too much because we are always doing freaky things like taking pictures and drawing, so at lunch no one sat by us but the tour guide asked if she could sit with us instead.  Ends up, she went to Shawnee Mission East, had Mr. Royer (the same pre-calc teacher I had) and went to the same middle school (Indian Hills) and elementary school (Prairie, pre-fire days) as the Gorilla.  She now lives in Florence and is married to an Italian. When we first asked her where she lived she mumbled Kansas City but then the Gorilla and I replied "US TOO"...she was in shock...she could not believe it. It is a small world after all. After lunch we were given free time to explore the city but the Gorilla and I were rather cold so went window shopping. Everything is on sale or "saldi" in Italy right now because they are only legally able to have sales two times a year. However that really didn't help me out much when the dollar is pretty much worth nada. After window shopping, we sat in a cute chocolate cafe and sipped lattes (with smiley faces on top of them...see picture above) and drew pictures of things around us.  On the way back to the train station we discovered a straw market. They were selling shoes for 3 euro and I almost bought an extra large Winnie the Pooh child's nightie because it gets so cold in the night but I realized that the texture was similar to a sleeping bag I once had that used to catch on my toenails and I decided that gagging while you try to sleep is not the solution to the cold.  The train was leaving at 4 so we didn't have too much time to shop around. The Gorilla and I tried with all of our mights to avoid sitting by our roommates on the train but some how (how, I am not so sure) two of them ended up sitting facing us.  Luckily the Gorilla and I were in a giggly mood or else I might have literally died on the train. One of our roommates (the one who yells at the top of her lungs "What Up B*tches" every time she enters our apartment) decided that it would be fun to play the "camera game". For those of you not familiar with the "camera game" (I was not either...so don't be ashamed), my roommate sets her camera on self timer for either 2 sec or 10 sec (you can decide) and then she allows you that time to strike a pose or do something crazy. Then you look at the picture and laugh...ta..da...that's how you play the "camera game".  Clearly the Gorilla and I dominated the "camera game" (I was technically the winner because I am the worlds most unphotogenic person) One of our roommates is functionally challenged.  She can't seem to do much but stare and then make sassy comments.  When it was her turn to play, she just sat there, no movement at all what so ever! The inventor (the "what up" girl aka the inventor) kept giving her more chances to win...but five rounds later, she still proceeded to sit there.  Finally in a rather loud voice the inventor goes "PRETEND YOU ARE SUCKING A D*CK" ( I am sorry for the x-ratedness of this story but if I almost pee my pants, a story must be told, no lies, no cover ups) As a matter of fact, it did get her to slightly raise her arms but she still lost. After the game I was pretty tired, so I slept the rest of the way home. I decided to stay in tonight and make pretty pictures and watch Rear Window. Still no heat or hot water. Stinky and cold. 

and one last stinky thing.

our hot water went out two days ago and the day before it went out I didn't shower. so it looks like I haven't showered in one...two...oh yeah three days. oh and our landlord is out of town. i guess showering is overrated anyway. 

oh and read and see the other 9 posts i made today....i played a game of catch...and now i am caught up. 

like mother like daughter.

last night I found out that Chatty and Kathy's actual mother (birth mother, from the womb mother) is named KATHY! I almost started laughing when Chatty told me. 

orange you glad. i am.

last night on our way back home from the pub, the prime minister's gate was open because they were cleaning up after the "american barbie ball" and the Gorilla used her Gorilla arms and she did what no other Gorilla has done before....SHE GOT AN ORANGE FROM THE PRIME MINISTER'S HOUSE. I thought it was going to take us all semester to sneak one of those bad boys out of there, but one week down, the Gorilla did what we thought was the impossible.  Next mission, get invited to dinner. 

your eyes are connected to your legs.

when you walk. you see. 

eanj and fata.

my new crushes.

  

siena.

"barbie of america"

a view from our window of the "barbie of america" fuchsia lights. 

(read below to understand) 

if sienna miller was named after siena, italy, i know why she is so beautiful.

We were going to take the 8:50 am bus out of Florence to Siena today but our night ended rather late, we needed to sleep in (the Gorilla and I got so delusional last night that at one point we thought Kenya might be a good way to get to Malaga, Spain...I got so mad at the Gorilla...with giggles galore...we finally fell asleep) The 10:30 bus worked just fine. Being the narco that I am, I fell asleep before the wheels on the bus went round and round (which was a bummer because I missed all the scenery). We got to Siena around 12 and headed to the Plazzo Del Campo in the center of the city. Siena, unlike Florence, is very quite and quaint. All of the buildings and houses are made from different types of clays and bricks, unlike Florence with its gray stone and marble.  It was actually the perfect day to go to Siena because it was actually sunny, slightly warm and it even smelled like a crisp fall day.  The Gorilla and I packed a lunch (canned tuna and noodles) and we sat out on the Piazza and ate lunch in the sun.  The Piazza is built on a small hill, so people gather to sit on the brick terrace that fills the city center.  We ended up sitting out there fore three hours, drawing and taking pictures.  I observed more than 30 classic women bundled in beautiful fur coats, small brown shoes and large sunglass..it was awesome.  I realized I have a new found crush on old women (and old men have always been quite attractive in my eyes). We walked around, stopped by their Duomo, and scavanged to find a coffee shop to sip cafe con latte's (soya per favore (soy milk please), they use whole milk...hechechec hair ball..YUCK!) There were big huddles of Americans (loud, obnoxious sporting the ugg boot, leggin and cell phone ensemble) and the Gorilla and I were so embarrased of by loudness and American composure that when they would try to talk to us, or if we were passing by them we would make a mix of accents...(we were ashamed..hands down!) The Gorilla and I tried to think of something that we could purchase in every city as a souvenir. The Gorilla thought we should take a piece of gravel from every city (but I advised her that it might be strange going through customs with a bag of rocks...she is a very special Gorilla) Instead we decided that we didn't need a physical object but rather we could use our senses as a way to remember a city. Thus, Gelato has been nominated as the new form of souvenir and we are off to discover the different types of gelato in the world. (Luckily, frozen yogurt and ice cream are my speciality and I have enough experience with them, that I should become pretty good with this whole gelato souvenir thing) We headed back home around 4 pm and we made omelets with eggplant, mushrooms, spinach, wrapped in a warm pita. I am the cook and the Gorilla is the dishwasher (I don't trust the Gorilla with her Gorilla hands to do too much cooking...her hands were made to wash things!) Last night there was a huge ball at the prime ministers house.  From our window we could see millions of pink flowers and all of the lights in the castle were changed to fuchsia.  On our way out to the pub tonight, there was a crowd of people gathered our side our door to watch what was going on.  Apparently (even though I still don't understand) the "barbie of America" (thats what they kept describing it as) was having a ball at the Prime Minister's house.  They had carriages covered in pink silk waiting outside our door and drum/flag boys were lined up a long the walk way. We waited outside for 10 minutes because the "barbie of america" was supposed to come out but she never came.  The Gorilla thought that a life sized barbie was going to come out or that people would be carrying small barbies and doing dances with them (her imagination is something else...I was just flat out confused) We peaced out from the Barbie crowd and headed to a local pub called JJ's Cathedral that is on the other side of the Duomo. They have a happy hour from 8-10 pm,  plus they take US dollars...1 dollar = 1 euro. The first time and the only time the US dollar has any value! We were two long lost lovers for a little bit but then Paul, Chatty and Kathy and crew came to join us.  We called it an early night because tomorrow we don't have the luxury of switching our bus times. 8:00 am sharp the trains leaves for Bologna. Buonanotte! (post from friday january eighteenth) 

ponte vecchio surprise and internet eyes

Today they Gorilla and I attempted to go to a wax museum on the other side of the Arno after our book arts class but it was closed (it has really weird hours but in the Gorilla's Art Book it said it was a hidden treasure of Florence and it is supposed to be really freaky...advised to bring your children and you all know the Gorilla and I would of fit in quite nice) Instead we walked along the Ponte Vecchio, did some window shopping for our future wedding rings (Attention for future husbands who happen to be reading my blog: the first store on the left when entering on to the bridge is holding my ring for me.) On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have a big break in between classes, so I am hoping to use that time to explore my new found motherland. I went to the bus station to buy my first ticket to Siena.  Tomorrow the Gorilla and I will take our first true adventure on our own.  Our weekend is rather packed: Siena tomorrow, Bologna on Saturday (free with the program) and Pisa on Sunday...So much to see in not so much time.  There are busses and trains that go out of Florence to all of the these Tuscans cities every half and hour. For dinner, the Gorilla and I made Champion House/Hibatchi style cabbage (a little soy sauce, a little cabbage, a little pan of fry-ness and wa-la....iron chef watch out!) I ended up staying in tonight to try to get my travel schedule together because I have learned very quickly that it is extremely difficult to travel around.  Even though flights and trains are cheap, things still add up. It is now 3 in the morning and I still have not been able to book one thing and I have been searching now for 4 hours (I am slow...what can I say?) Okay now I am getting delusional..buonanotte! (post from thursday january seventeenth)  

post secret

the last post was from wednesday, I am not sure why they are going up so late but blog-ness from thursday is coming next and then divine secrets of the traveling Gorilla and her side kick are coming later tonight because they day is not over and there is still a pub on our agenda...ciao!

Don't Confuse Your Anni with your Ani!

I love my Italian class.  My teacher is adorable. Si chiami Matilda (her name is Matilda) Today we learned the basics of communicating in Italian. Like where we are from, where we live, the names of the months and weeks (all the important things in life).  Forget about numbers, I am movin' on up! The Italians love their R's and roll them like rrrr (like a tiger...raar...or as my brother does to annoy my sister!) We also learned how to say how old we are.  For instance if you wanted to ask a creepy guy in the bar with braces (true story) how old he is because he looks like he is 5, you might say "Quanti anni hai" and he might respond Ho ventitre anni (23, but don't believe him!).  Ho venti anni (I am twenty years old) However, it is imperative that you recognize there are two N's in the word anni, and when pronouncing it you must hold on to it for dear life or else it could mean something completely different.  The world ani (with one N) means butt hole..so if you let go too soon, you could be asking someone how many butt holes they have? and I am not sure how they would respond ( I know I would answer..Ho uno ani..I have one butt hole) To avoid any problems, just remember anni has two N's. Tonight we met up with our CEA group at a bar called Salamanca for apertivo, or appetizers.  Apertivo is a very popular thing to do in Italy.  People meet up with their friends after work to relax, kick back, have a glass of wine and eat a little snack.  There are many places around town that have this apertivo time and if you buy a drink, they will give you unlimited snacks.  The Gorilla and I went in hopes of being able to fill our appetites with the apertivo so we wouldn't have to cook but unfortunately there were too many people and not enough food.  We ended up going to this delicious Mexican restaurant with four other girls on our program.  We were going to go out after dinner but it was raining and by raining I mean it was pouring and by pouring I mean... I came home and my shoes were filled with water. Shnuggling in my bed has been a much better decision than wearing buckets of water on my feet (wash my feet....wo wo wash my feet) and now I am off to bed. Buonanotte. 

doodles and noodles

the lesbi hippie talked too much so the girl did a drawing. she was thinking about the 9 boxes of girl scout cookies her brother once ordered but some how she ended up with a boy pulling out his eye. scouts honor he said. 

LET US EAT CABBAGE

Another successful day at school.  I am in a book arts class with a former or possibly still active lesbian and feminist.  The class is technically a printmaking and book arts class but it seems as though we are going to be making a lot more books than printmaking which is good because we get to learn how to make 12 different kinds of books (who knew there were so many possibilities) I didn't know this (a little history lesson for the day) but book arts is a rather new form of artistic expression that started after World War II and there is much controversy over the true definition of books arts (go allison for remembering something at 9:30 in the morning...boo yeah!) After book arts the Gorilla and I FINALLY went to the market to get food.  We went to a market down the street that is in a two story building that actually feels like a human refrigerator.  Local farmers have little stands throughout the building and as a bonus it is a lot less expensive than going to the regular pre-packaged grocery store.  Before I tell this story, keep in mind that this is a. the first time that the Gorilla and I have gone to the market and b. we don't speak Italian. Prior to coming to the market we even made a beautiful grocery list of all the things we needed to get in order to seem cool (just like our mommies). Lettuce, tomatoes, bananas, potatoes, coffee, pasta, tuna, and tomato sauce. We stopped at the first station because it looks good (they all look good but we just convince ourselves that this one was the best for lettuce..another station was good for tomatoes and so on..we are to blend in...no stupid Amuuurican behaviors) We look at a couple heads of "green" vegetables that we believe are lettuce. We wanted iceburg because we assumed it would be less expensive.  We this see barrel of beautifully crisp lettuce (and by crisp I mean it was so crisp that it was even a little waxy) We instantly buy two heads of it because it was so beautiful.  When she handed it to us, I felt the texture, and sure enough that beautiful crisp texture that I was ooohing and ahhing over negative two seconds ago...was...well yeah...cabbage!  With two heads of cabbage and the Gorilla and I head to the next station for lettuce (the next station was a success!) So it looks like I am going to have to learn how to make cabbage soup (everyone knows that I am the last person in the world that needs to be eating cabbage soup...cabbage soup has high flatunce factors if you didn't know!) In the afternoon I had my first photography class here and my teacher is also on the lesbian/feminist bandwagon but she is 4ft tall, 50 years old,  with a huge nose ring (not like a simple stud, an actual ring) and ear lopes that hang to her shoulder because she loves Indian jewelry.  On top of being completely insane (but wonderful) she is also still stuck in the 60's, loves fallac symbols and saying "yeah". I am really excited for this class because she digs experimental photography, and so do I.  After class at 7 pm the Gorilla and I made our first dinner: gnocci, spinach, and homemade tomato sauce (and by that I mean they only sell tomato paste so we added our own seasoning...but it is kind of the same and a big deal) It was so good and I felt so proud to make such a delicious Italian cuisine.  We went out with Chatty and Kathy to this bar called BeBop.  On Tuesday nights, they have a Beetles cover band.  My entire program took over the bar plus a surprisingly good mixture of Italian men out on the prowl to reel in their bait. We got there a little late, so we had to sit in the way back of the bar where we couldn't even hear the band but it ended up being a blessing because I think a lot of people were trying to make babies on the dance floor (not really but close to it).  I didn't even know that you could get freaky to the Beetles.  People were bumping and grinding to "I Want To Hold Your Hand"...it was a sight to see. My roommate even ended up dancing on the stage apparently.  We ended up getting our own table in the back and decided that it was way more fun than feeling someone's yellow submarine .  We met a group of Italian boys that were actually quite attractive and they joined us in our booth.  They didn't speak English very well and lord knows that with only one day of Italian class down, knowing how to count to ten created a bit of a cultural barrier. Regardless, we both tried, however the Italians were much better at English. All of the sudden one of the boys started asking us questions about how to say certain things in English and what they meant. For some reason this boy said something like "Do you know how to...?" (the rest of us homosapians could not hear him but the Gorilla has Gorilla ears so obviously she heard him. She replied "Wait did you say chug?" He did not understand but then again the Gorilla knew what she was doing and thought he understood her. The poor Italian guy was so confused and he replied "Chug?" and the Gorilla goes "Yeah Chug!!" She grabs his beer and chugs the whole thing.  She turned to him, empty glass at hand and goes "Do you understand now?" Even more confused and slightly pissed off, he goes "No" and I believe he walked away. (this was the first time I felt bad for an Italian man but it was hilarious!) Tomorrow I am going to ask our Italian teacher how to say chug and then right after class I am going to buy the Gorilla a hearing aide. 

p.s. albanian men like to lick

I forgot to add this in my post from yesterday but my Italian teacher told us a story and I found it really amusing. The girls in my class were complaining about the Italian men and she started explaining that Italian men feel bad if they don't tell you how they truly feel and therefore they have no filter and they have no problem telling you that they love you and your butt (I think she was just covering up for them because she felt bad, they seem to only tell American women, not Italian women).  Then she told us a story that her female students from the summer used come in all the time and tell her that men kept coming up to them.  She was talking really fast and it was difficult to hear her but she proceed to tell us that they were Albanian men and that they started "slick" them...my teacher made this slurping noise and started sticking her tongue out.  What she was trying to tell us is that during the summer when it is hot outside, the American girls wear short sleeves and tank tops and that they would be walking down the street and all of the sudden they would feel something slimy on their back. They would turn around and it would be men who would come up behind them and LICK them on their shoulders as a way to show their affection.  even though I am very cold right now....THANK GOD IT IS NOT SUMMER HERE! 

something nice

something funny

"Nice Tootoo" said the man. "Lasciami in pace!" said the woman

First day of class was a success! Art History at 9:30 with Doby (the character from Harry Potter aka my cute Italian art history teacher) followed by my first Italian class.  Mi chiamo Allison (My name is Allison) My teachers name is Matilda and I can already tell that this is going to be my favorite class. She taught us how to say "get off" and "get away from me, leave me alone" (Lasciami in pace!) so that the 10 girls out of the 12 kids in my class could finally learn how to tell the greasy Italian men to stay away.  Unfortunately tonight when the Gorilla and I attempted to go on another glorious run (however the Gorilla's left barbarian foot started to hurt so instead we took a 2 hour walk wearing our spandex again because it was too cold to wear anything else) we were yelled at on our way home by two men: "I like your tootoo, nice ass, thank god to your mother" but it was too hard to a.  to remember what we had learned in class and b. too hard not to laugh... we just walked off (So Linda J and Jenny I, mad props mad props! but we love you more than they do!) Anyhoo, after I learned the basics in Italian (I can count to ten!), I traveled closer to my apartment for lunch and then went to the other campus that is actually down the street for an afternoon of painting. There are only 3 other students in the class and my professor seems like he is going to be very entertaining and fabulous: gay American artist meets the Italian world, what more could you want.  Class ended and then the 2 hour walk began and then dinner. The Gorilla and I still have not gone to the market or grocery store (so I lied earlier that we were going) but we promise we are going tomorrow. I had my first experience with  real Italain gelato and I may never go to the market because gelato tastes better than anything I am ever going to cook and it only costs 3 euro (but that is 6 dollars if I convert it in US dollars...I could get a whole collider and more for that but AHH I can't think that way...bad Allison) The Gorilla and I were going to go out to this club called Yab (apparently it is the best Monday night "hot spot" with popcorn bowls at the bars (thats why I wanted to go..free food) and break dancers compete!) but we were too cold, tired after our first exciting day of class and 9:30 class in the morning (granted they are not Michigan 8:30's that I am used to...it is still pretty early) Off to bed! Buonanotte!

The Skinny On Being Skinny

I was finally able to sleep in for the first time since I arrived. When I woke up around 11 and looked out my window I knew it was going to be a good day.  It was finally sunny! The reflection of the sun off the Duomo (yeah my neighbor) and the warmth of the sun made me smile.  We met the group for what Italian's call an "American Breakfast" at a chic little hotel called angel. The logo for the restaurant could possibly be used for a strip club however the actual hotel looks nothing like one. The Gorilla and I sat with a group of girls who we hadn't met yet. All I have to say is..small world.  One of the girls is friends with my one and only true Freaky (the original Freaky roommate back in the aa...who lives in the nip) and another one knew Becca Hayes, a girl who went to my high school and she also knew my group of friends from home (brookie b, hueb, emmie..she knew them all) Small small world.  Breakfast was perfect, hot "american" coffee (american coffee = large cup of coffee, italian coffee = black as night espresso), yellow eggs (no egg whites) and french toast (first time in 5 years) After breakfast the Gorilla and I walked around and saw the most spectacular thing in the entire world. No it was not the Ponte Vecchio, no it wasn't the David, it was a dancing Pekacho (from Pokemon) The streets are filled with vendors on Sundays but a lot of them are illegal immigrants trying to sell knock off Gucci, Prada and apparently dancing Pekacho's are a hot seller. I tried to buy one but when he handed me the package, it was definitely a rip off of the one he was showing on the street. I think he tries to get people to buy them and they don't actually work but luckily I was able to tell that a piece of yarn wasn't causing the dancing Pekacho to waddle around, so I took my 2 euro back and continued down the street (I am not that stupid of an American, I just wanted a dancing Pekacho..and I am sure you would all want them too!) I then went on an Art History tour of the city but unfortunately the tour guide was extremely dull and clogged in the nose and therefore I had a difficult time trying to pay attention when there was so much excitement going on in the streets. Sunday is a hoppin' day for the gorgeous Italian families to take a walk through the markets but I did learn a thing or two, so hopefully my Art History teacher tomorrow will be better than Miss Mc Sniffles (the tour guide). The Gorilla and I met up with Chatty, Kathy and my crazy friend Paul from camp and a few other people we have met along the way at "Central Park", which  is only a hop, skip, jump and a walk down the Arno and across the bridge from the Ponte Vecchio. The Gorilla and I wanted to go on a run before we picnic-ed with them, however apparently it is not socially acceptable to wear spandex or perhaps when in Florence just don't run or maybe it was the neon orange zip up jacket I was wearing (it does have a similar resemblance to a traffic cone..who knows) but I have never been more humiliated to run in my life. People were flat out starring at us. A child even turned his head to look! (The Gorilla was worried she had torn a hole in her pants, and I thought my butt was too giggly and thats why there were starring but I assured the Gorilla that she did not have a hole in her pants and she assured me that my but was not to giggly) However, it was too beautiful outside, so we kept running. We ran up and down the Arno, discovered a secret carnival in the park, admired old couples and women in fur coats taking a Sunday stroll. We came to understand, based off the number of people walking along the Arno, that it is far more socially acceptable to stroll, bike or even scooter down the Arno in fur coats and heals than it is to run in spandex. After our glorious run, we met up with the gang but had to head back home rather quickly because it was...guess what..starting to rain...typical! Tonight the Gorilla and I went over to Chatty and Kathy's for a splendid dinner (at this rate, I am never going to have to cook) But of Gorilla's ears fell off tonight and I sat at the dinner table like I was watching a game of tennis..back and forth..back and forth, it was so entertaining! We just got home from the long and our internet is not working so I am writing in a sticky on my Mac and will hopefully get to post it tomorrow. School starts tomorrow and like a two year old(or like a typical Allison Jane Isenberg) I have butterflies in my tummy. Long day tomorrow, must get some rest! Buonanotte!

Welcome Chatty, Kathy and Miles Davis Junior

Well I am sorry that this blog is so delayed but our internet went out while I was writing this beautiful blog two nights ago and now I am re-typing it to let you know about my past two days. Before I go into full detail about my extravagant winey wino day at Castello di Verrazzano, I must introduce you all to three main characters that I have met along my florentine adventures (I like to collect people, draw them, write about them, and imagine they are tiny little creatures) Blog readers meet Chatty and Kathy, twin sisters from Connecticut (two of the nicest people in the world but given their nicknames (that I have given them)...yeah its pretty self explanatory) They love designer clothing, Burberry is god, but they have this nerdy, quarky quality about them that is incredible. The other day I was like "Gorilla why is your ear on the ground?" and she was like "Oh, I just had dinner with Chatty and Kathy!" Tonight my ear fell off. But I just wanted to introduce them to you all because I am sure their names will come up along the way and I wouldn't want any of you to feel out of the loop (if you really want to know there real names, skype will lead you to the answer) Then the last character for this post, Miles Davis Junior (however he does not have a code name, that just is his name) He is not in the same group of friends as Chatty and Kathy, he has never met Chatty and Kathy and to be honest he isn't even of the same species as Chaty and Kathy, rather Miles Davis Junior has a long narrow face, small but dominant vanilla teeth, round black intelligent eyes and finely shaped ears. Miles Davis Junior is an Italian Greyhound. He belongs to the Art Director at my school. The other night Miles (for short) joined us at our 5 course meal and apparently it is more common to bring a dog to dinner than to smoke a cigarette (who knew?...I thought Californian dogs were prima dogas but Italian dogs know how to live it up) Welcome Chatty, Kathy, and Miles Davis Junior to the blog. I am sure there will be more characters that I will introduce along the way and drawings of them are coming soon, so get excited!

Now for my exciting day at Castello di Verrazzano. Just 30 minutes outside Florence, Castello di Verrazzono, is one of the oldest wineries in the Tuscan area. We hopped aboard a coach bus and traveled through the mountains past several castles, acres of pine trees and small dirt roads to get there. Two really unfortunate things about the day: 1. It was extremely rainy 2. It was evident that everyone has really really been enjoying their time here in Firenze, however some have been enjoying their stay a little too much and I am not sure that going wine tasting at 10 in the morning was really an imperative event for them to attend, instead of thinking or learning about wine, some seemed to already be regertiating it on their way to the castle. Luckily the Gorilla and I have learned how to be Italians and not to over indulge ourselves like stupid Americans, we took a little schnooze instead. We got the castle, and my future husband greeted us at the gates (don't worry dad, he was only 40 and not jewish!) He took us on a romantic tour of the winery, explained the different ways they produce their wine and then invited us to stay for a little wine tasting and lunch. *Interesting fact: The original owner of Castello di Verrazzano winery was actually the man who discovered New York in 1485 (imagine that!) And by little lunch I mean another 5 course meal! (which equals what?...oh yeah another 5 hour meal) I am not sure how the Italians stay so thin by eating bread followed by salami, followed by pasta, followed by beans, followed by pork and sausage, followed by dessert (once I figure it out, I am going to bring it back to the states..and make lots of money because I have yet to find a true Italian that is fat) We tasted a wide variety of wines and learned about the "legs" and how to tell the difference between expensive wines, wines with a high alcohol content, wines to eat with meats, wines to eat with cheese, and wines that are strictly for dessert. According to Gino, you should never eat a meal without wine and you should never have wine without a meal (Dad would love Gino's philosophy) To be quite honest, I think my taste buds have been spoiled by Franzia and Arbor Mist, to fully appreciate and recognize the difference between fine wines.  For dessert, we had to dip a biscotti into their famous grapa, aka moonshine. However unlike the different wines, I would be able to distinguish this stuff from a mile away ( you know when something tastes like acid, tastes similar to something that I once smelled in a chemistry lab) They instructed us to never drink grapa and then smoke a cigarette (I would just say you should never drink grapa in general) After the romantic day at the castle, the Gorilla and I came back to our beautiful home for a siesta. For dinner, I ate at this little hole in the wall Mexican restaurant called "Eby's Bar" and for only seven euro I was able to enjoy a delicious chicken burrito and a glass of wine (not going to lie, but the pasta over load has already hit me!) I started to plan out my weekends for the next couple of months and WOWZA there is so much to do in so little time. I did my first load of Italian laundry tonight (yippie skippie) however it is going to take a quarter of a century for my clothes to dry because there are very few apartments in Italy with dryers. A simple clothes line does the trick but unfortunately it has been raining for the past couple of days, so we shall see. I am not too worried because I still have plenty of underwear and that is really all you need. Tomorrow lends itself to another busy day! Free brunch, free art history tour, followed by a not so free grocery shopping adventure. It is getting late the gorilla is snoring like an ogre and I better try to sleep now or else. Ciao!

If The Prime Minister Of Italy Wanted To See Me Naked...He Could

And by that I mean, the Prime Minister of Italy is my neighbor. Yes my neighbor. I can see where he works, his dining room is quite nice and he has orange trees in his front yard.  By the end of the semester, I will get an orange from him.  My other neighbor is the Duomo. Yeah you know...not some hot italian boy...no...THE DUOMO...the cathedral of Florence, the symbol of Florence (is my neighbor!).  Not only is the view unbelievable my apartment wins five stars in my book.  The gorilla and I share a comfortable bed room (the bedroom that looks over the Duomo...did I mention that) The apartment is a very old Italian loft with three bedrooms where (the Freakies aka our other roommates live) Imagine a two story loft with a dining room table that seats 8, a kitchen (in a different room) fully equipped with a coffee pot, pots, pans, and a wide variety of American cups that I believe came from old McDonalds happy meals...keep imagining because it only gets better... take a walk up the spiral staircase to our very own "luogo di partito" (aka the party place) where there is an indoor lounge but within just a few steps stands a glass door that leads to a patio that is bigger than a. my dining room at home b. the chi-o tv room or c. for all others who can't make this connection...just think big and beautiful.  I hope your imagination is now going wild because that is exactly what this apartment is like...wildly amazing.  Minus the people living in my apartment...it is truly spectacular (for more information please contact me via Skype and I shall explain them). Oh and pictures are coming soon!  The past two days have been extremely busy with different orientations for my program and the art school and I have not had a lot of time to explore (but I did finally see the "fake" David today....might I add he has very nice cheeks) At one of the orientations we had a police officer come speak to us about safety, and laws...and yada yada BUT I did learn what the"official" Italian sport was....and you might be thinking futbal...BUT NO...guess again...WOMEN! He was not kidding about that one at all, they are everywhere.  Tonight the Art School took us (40 kids in all) out to dinner at the Uffizi Center for a 5 course meal...and when I mean 5 courses I also mean 5 hours as well.  But it was so nice to finally get to meet other students in the Art School.  We drank wine, ate bruschetta, a little pasta, salami, and ended the meal with the best tarmisu! Delizioso! The Gorilla and I love it here and we can't wait for our visitors and come stay.  Lets just say that the gorilla will never allow me to open the door past a certain hour of the night (because it leads to bad things like pink pasta wine, water bags, war zones and other not so good things...moral of the story, don't walk up five flights of stairs after a night out and expect for good things to happen) The Gorilla and I are trying very hard to learn Italian or speak in some other accent to avoid looking too much like Americans. Tonight the Gorilla told some guy she was from Ethiopia (now I am not sure how good of an idea that was, but the man was from Senegal, so he really liked her..but now that I think about it...it sounded like she was using a Russian mixed with Italian accent..hey we are trying!) I must go to bed now because it is very late and I have wine tasting tomorrow.  I will let you know how it goes! Dad you would love this! Thank you Ji and Ji for letting me live here, the only problem is...I may never return! 

Ciao! 

P.S. Camp Chi connections are incredible. Paul Chodosh lives down the street and Max ("I can't remember his last name") who was on my PNW trip in 8th grade, who I haven't seen since 8th grade just happens to be in all of my classes! 

The Story of the Incredible Suitcase Diet!

South Beach Diet watch out because Allison Isenberg can make you loose 25 pounds in one day! (however, you must be a suitcase!) As of Sunday night my suitcases were each 25 pounds over weight and with in a matter of hours my suitcases were able to shed their extra pounds and they passed the ultimate test of all time (aka. the airport scales). They are now safely (fingers crossed) on their way to Florence.  John Isenberg walked out of the KCI airport with a bag full of feminine products, a pillow and a power cord (they didn't make the cut...auf wiedersehen) I successfully made it on the airplane to Chicago after "big lady hair clip" tried to convince me that my oversized outdoor camping backpack wasn't going to fit in the overhead compartment which resulted in some whopper tears flying out of my eye balls (Becky Poskin I almost had an asthma attack and I don't even have asthma) Once again, I proved the airport wrong (and big lady hair clip) and I walked onto the plane 10 minutes before take off and the bag fit.  Because I have the slightest bit of OCD and anxiety, I decided to come to Chicago only 5 hours before my flight actually leaves for Florence (all I have to say is...it seemed like a good idea at the time when mom and I realized last week that we hadn't booked my flight from Kansas City to Chicago..welcome to the life of an Isenberg!) Now I am enjoying some classic elevator music in the food court with my traveling gorilla (aejo@umich.edu..some call her ada) I have a few butterflies flying in my stomach but I am ready.  Prepare yourself Florence...I am coming! (the picture...true americans)