Milk Money.

Monica and Crazy Friend went off to Pisa and Lucca while I turned in my first Art History paper. I starting painting a portrait of a girl in my class today. It is quite unfortunate, but she has terrible achne that takes over her face and I had a rather difficult time deciding whether or not to include the blotches/patches of pimples in the painting. For her sake and mine, I left them out and used a more abstract approach, using thick layers of paint instead. Hopefully it turns out okay. After class I headed home to get ready for the evening. I have literally been on the go non-stop and as of now it looks as though I am not reaching for the breaks for a very long. Monica, Crazy Friend and the Gorilla and I headed down the Arno to experience our first true Italian apertivo. (I think I mentioned the whole concept of apertivo, but basically it means "apatizer" time here and most restuarants offer it before they either turn into a club for the night or before they take reservations for dinner) For just 9 euro, they offered us a wide array of cheeses, breads, pastas and many miny finger foods. The deal was that we had to order a drink and then we could hit up the line as much as we wanted. Mojitos all around. We stuffed our stomachs and then headed back home to prepare for my first night out at the the infamous Yab club. Down the street and over a couple of blocks houses the Monday night hot spot where all the local Italian men thrive and the American girls get all japped out for a night of expensive drinks and wild dancing. Obviously, we couldn't miss out on the Monday night scene (clearly, I am always in the scene..puke puke..yeah right, I think this is actually my first Monday night out in my college career. Judge all you want, I am not afraid of my own loserness) Our friend Jordan (who joined us for the evening) got a fb message telling him that if we said we knew Fabio we would be able to cut the lines and get right in. Indeed we did know Fabio and we walked right in. We were forced to check our coats. Monica and I even tried to avoid the extra tariff by putting my coat inside of hers but the bitch bouncer was no dummy. Crazy Girl ran off to see her friends from high school and Monica, Paul, Jordan and I formed our own dance squad and pop lock and dropped it, while ghetto fabulous men who actually knew how to dance showed off their moves. All of the sudden, in the mist of "lettin' my shoulda lean', a posse of big men forced the crowd back and three women wearing very little started stripping what remained of the very little. It was extremely bizzare. Monica and I decided it would be the perfect time to head to the ladies room to freshen up. We ran into yet another jew-crew-camp chi connector, who was visiting for the night from Rome. Around 2 a.m., I was getting pretty exhausted so I convinced the troops it was a good idea to head home. They have a system at these types of places where they give you a punch card when you enter the club and every time you order a drink they punch it and then you have to check out at the end of the evening. We didn't order any drinks but we still had to check out. We waited in line for 10 minutes to find out that our evening of no drinks was still going to cost us 14 euro. Miss Card Check-Out Lady proceeded to tell us as we are paying and fighting about the price, that we could of gotten a free drink. Do you know what I say to that baloney! I quit. No more scene for me! That forever solitified my desire to EVER follow the mass trend of Monday Yab. Regardless what you say 14 euro (almost 28 dollars) for a coat check is not worth it, when I can enjoy a glass of wine at a nice bar and actually hear my friends speak, not WHAT followed by WHAT) I now that I think about it, the money was probably used to pay the strippers that I didn't even ask for. Despite coughing up my milk money to see some hoo ha's, I had a wonderful time with Monica and in the end that was all that mattered. Bed Time.

posted in the year 2008 in the month of february in the day of 11.

THE BEST DAY EVER (depends how you see the world. is the glass half full or half empty..you tell me)

I am not sure how I get so unlucky and then get re-paid with more luck than I actually deserve, but damn I am a lucky girl. I woke up from another delightful nights slumber with my minki pinki next to me. We picked up falafuls to go and headed to the port to sit in the sun and to eat our lunch. The port of Barcelona overlooks the ocean and rows and rows of large fishing boats. Hundreds of fat unwanted fish gather at the edge of the port and people gather around (especially on sundays) to sit by the water, to feed some fish, and those romantics snuggle in each others arms. The five us, just plopped in the sun, and went to town on our delicious falafuls. Before we knew it, it was already 3:30 and we realized we better head back to the residenica to pack up and give our goodbyes to our favorite little barcelonean creatures. Three hugs, three kisses and three goodbyes, the Gorilla and I walked down the illuminated hallway to catch a cab to the bus station. We successfully made it on the bus to the airport and we successfully made it to the airport. However, "apparently" if you are American, you can't check in online (which we did we just didn't print our boarding passes, because on the way there, we checked in online, printed out our boarding passes and were the first on the plane) but "apparently" doesn't won't fly leaving Barcelona. We arrived an hour before the flight and thinking that since we checked in online we could just get to the ticket counter and pick up our tickets. Easy as pie. Well, yeah no. We were told that we would have to pay 4 euro to get a new ticket because Americans weren't allowed to check in online. I still don't understand. We were directed to stand in another line to retrieve these tickets and 10 minutes before our flight was about the leave we were still standing in the same line about to sweat our hands off. Then "last call" was announced and the Gorilla and I attempted to negotiate with people in front of us and explain to them that our flight was about to take off and that we needed to cut. We finally get our tickets and RAN. At this point we still hadn't gone through security. The Gorilla goes through the detector and beep beep beep. We did not have any time for a game of beep beep. Thankfully, the officer realized that the Gorilla had some type of metal on her boots. I am still not sure how she did it but I turned around and all of the sudden I see the Gorilla leaping through the metal detector barefoot. We scrambled for our stuff and darted faster than the speed of light. Keep in mind the Gorilla is still barefoot. We literally fly on to the run way and sit in the first seats available. We made it! Whoo hoo. If the jews thought miracles happened because of some oil, then they should truly evaluate the miracles that happened in the rest of our adventure home. Due to our unfortunate discovery that the Bolgona airport that Ryanair claims to be situated in, is actually false, we realized that we were probably going to have to spend the night in the Bologna train station. Prior to our trip we calculated that we could take the last train out of Bologna in plenty of time, but due to the little mishap, we were told by multiple people that there was just no way were going to make the 10:20 train leaving from Bologna to Florence, when our flight was to arrive at 9:10 in Forli because we would still have to take a 15 minute cab to the train station. And the train from Forli to Bologna is 45 minutes and the last train out of Forli to Bologna would arrive at 10:22. Impossible they told us. We would literally miss the train by TWO minutes. Remember what I said, two minutes actually mean something. This whole missing of the train wouldn't have been that big of an issue if A. my bestest friend in the entire world, whom might I add, I haven't seen in 5 and a half months wasn't coming to visit me and stay with me. B.DID YOU HEAR ME...Miss Monica Beth Pack was coming to Florence and if our planned worked, she was going to meet us in Bologna to take the train to Florence with us (a minor detail I forgot to tell you. Monica spent the past couple of days in Venice and her connecting train to Florence was in Bologna, the same train that we were supposed to get on) C. The train station in Bolgona is sketchy D. I had a paper due tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. F. We were exhausted from a fabulous weekend. Just to name of few of the problems with missing the train. Back to the story. The Gorilla and I boult off the plane, hop in a cab and jump on to the 9:31 train to Bologna. At 10:00, we ask the guy in front of us how much longer to Bologna and he said 20 minutes. All hopes of actually making the train were shot. I called Monica and she was waiting at the train station. I told her to fake an asthma attack, or better, offer the conductor a peep show, anything to delay it for TWO minutes. At 10:15, I called Monica again to ask the bin number for the train and at 10:18 the our train stopped in Bologna. Our train got in four minutes ahead of schedule but we had TWO minutes to get from bin number 9 to bin number 3......At 10:20, we ran up the stairs thinking we had already missed the last train BUT............standing at the top was a. Monica b. No Train. The train was 20 minutes delayed. I almost cried and died. The thought of staying up all night almost made me vomit but there was no ralphing tonight, just pure happiness. I finished my paper and Monica and I spooned in my frozen little twin bed. I am still in shock that we made it. I had the best weekend ever, followed by the best reunion with my best friend. Truly the best day ever.

post from the tenth of february in the year of oooo eight.

remember when barcelona ruled my world. a three day poem about the three days in Barcelona with the three little monkeys and one big gorilla.

Remember when we arrived at the Melon District and walked around the halls because we couldn't find our friends.
Remember when we walked into the Melon District and you thought your eyes were going to fall out because the lights were so bright.
Remember when we walked into the Melon District after taking a mid night stroll and the man at the front desk who didn't speak any english charged us to stay there.
Remember when we shnuggled in Gef's big bed.
Remember when Amy's art history teacher looked like Where's Waldo with a funky accent.
Remember when Amy's art history teacher looked like Where's Waldo with a funky accent waited the whole class to say "Now you are probably wondering what the f- is that"
Remember when we went to the most delicious place in the world, where salad bars grow and fro yo machines twirl and endless amounts of fruit are at your finger times.
Remember when we went to the worlds most delicious place in the world and couldn't stop eating.
Remember when we went out to dinner at Ba Ba Reba and everyone laughed at us, but we all swore we where wearing clothes.
Remember when we went to Pippermints and thought it was Skeeps and dominated the entire place.
Remember when we went to Pippermints and dominated the entire place but then the Gorilla got dominated about larger than your face orange juice concoction.
Remember when we went to Pipperments and played 300 games of "ahh poop-goly-gee-son-of-a-dog-your-moms-a-lover" (edited version) and we invited pee pee head to play. He actually looked like a pee pee head.
Remember when the Gorilla died.
Remember when we went to the park and I looked like a hippie.
Remember when Amy curtsied as she walked down the hill.
Remember when Amy, Julia and Ada just couldn't walk down the hill in general.
Remember when we went on the subway and to get in Amy went under, Julia and Gef used their cards like good little children, the Gorilla stepped over with her monster feet and I went under (but got a little stuck)
Remember when there was the worlds most incredible Market that had fish heads, strawberry fields, endless veggies and gods greatest gift, an entire Gummie stand!
Remember when Amy and the Gorilla took forever to go shopping and Julia and I wanted to kill them.
Remember when Amy and the Gorilla thought it would be a good idea to buy leggings that looked like someone had vomited on them.
Remember when we couldn't find the bar Mirabe and went in a cab three times in three different circles looking for it but no one seemed to know where it was.
Remember when we saw Lime, Joj, and Karp at Mirabe.
Remember how we stayed at Mirabe until 5:30 when they started playing the goodnight Spanish song.
Remember how freaky the goodnight Spanish song was.
Remember how Amy wanted to go to Pan so bad and we finally went it was the best greecy food ever.
Remember how after we ate the greecy food all we wanted to eat were McFlurry, so we did.
Remember how we went to the Shot Bar and Gef orderd a Monica Lewinsky.
Remember pop rocks, suckers, and fires being in your shots?



Remember how we came to Europe to Barcelona to visit our friends and it was incredible.

Appendix: cont. from Worlds Worst Discovery and all other Unlucky Luckiness.

We arrived in Barcelona safe and sound. We hopped in a cab to go to the monkeys recidencia (the monkeys = Gef, Julia, and Amy) We arrived at the Parelel 101 in the Melon District only to realize that A. we didn't have their numbers because this day in age skype is god and phonebooks are overrated. B. we needed a key card to get into the actual building. C. we needed to know their room numbers so the guard could let us in. D. we both kind of remember spanish but not really, so cultural barrier wall was starting to build REAL fast. If there were a multiple choice question and a teacher asked which of the following would be important for the Gorilla and Sidekick to have before traveling to Barcelona, I would have to pencil in E. all of the above. Thank goodness someone was walking out of the building right as we were standing there. The guard did not understand a word we were saying so the Gorilla and I befriended two boys and they let us go up stairs. For thirty minutes we wandered the halls yelling Gef, Julia, Amy. Gef, Julia, Amy. We walked into a kitchen and the Gorilla recognized a friend of Amy's and we finally made it to our friends. Being the smart Gorilla and Sidekick we decided that there was no way they would live on the first floor (our reasoning..I am not sure) but after going around 6 floors, the first floor was where they were at.

The Worlds Worst Discovery...cont. from Unlucky Luckiness.

After our great discovery, we realized that we were probably not going to make the last train home from Bologna on Sunday night because the airport is not in Bologna but in Forli and our plane gets in at 21:10 and there is a bus that leaves from Forli to Bologna that arrives in at 22:22 and the last bus out of Bologna to Florence is 22:20. I am not sure if you put two and two together (no pun intended )BUT that is just two whole minutes off. As of now we are banking on sleeping in the Bologna train station/ and by sleeping I mean staying up all night in the Bologna train station until the 5 am train on Monday. Not to mention that my best friend in the entire world is supposed to stay with me Sunday night and as of now I am crossing my fingers and hoping to die and willing to stick a needle in my eye that my plane will arrive early, we will take the bus into Bologna and that the train from Bologna to Florence will be 2 minutes delayed. I know that this sounds far fetched but we just got off our flight and it arrived 30 minutes early and last weekend we came from Venice to Bologna on our way home to Florence and our bus was 30 minutes delayed. But lets get real here...I am traveling with a Gorilla and we all know that sleeping in a train station is bound to happen. Right now I am sitting on a bus heading to Barcelona while the Gorilla is jamming out to some bouncy music...oh she just showed me, a little JT -imberlake. I am so excited to see Barcelona, I am so excited that we made it here alive (well we technically have not gotten to their apartment yet so there might be an appendix to this night) and I am so excited to Gef, Amy, Julia, and Lime Joj,and Karp are coming up Friday. Oh and I hope I see Cory barscalepski (who prior to leaving announced to my entire dinner table one night that Barcelona was no longer named Barcelona but rather barscalepski was taking over) ciao ciao!

Unlucky Luckiness.

God has really been on my side lately. This morning I headed to the Uffizzi for a little morning art history lesson. This was my first time at the Uffizzi since I have been here. It is truly spectacular. The museum is huge. In just one hour we only made it to two of the rooms, and there are probably 200 rooms, just to give you a little perspective. I have my first paper due on Monday where I have to compare Giotto's Madonna and Jesus, with an unknown Madonna Jesus. Although I am a little bit on Madonna and Jesus overload, it was interesting to see the transformation of these two characters over time. Way back in the day, both Jesus and his virgin momma were portrayed as looking more Palestinian but in the 1440's, artists looked at the classical for their inspiration and therefore the Madonna transformed from a long shnoze mama with brown hair and Mediterranean skin to a blonde haired, blue eyed, idealized babe. Jesus just gets a little freaky and says to hell with clothes, and like a stripper, jesus did away with them. What more could you want in a morning but wait my day only gets better. On our way to our Italian class the Gorilla and I were dreaming about our favorite foods back home considering the past three days we have survived on gooey pasta we made Sunday night and I said that I would be willing to kill someone for an ice coffee and the Gorilla said she would kill for a Dean and Deluca salad bar and I told her that I would do more than kill for one of those. After climbing 6 flights of stairs to get to our Italian class I snapped out my dream world of lust and realized that I was a little screwed for class today because our teacher told us that were going to have to act out little skits with our partners in Italian about how to get around in the train station or order something from a restaurant or how to book a hostel. My partner is a Gorilla, so technically it is not my fault we didn't practice. But to my surprise, our teacher told us we were going on a field trip to eat Sicilian granitas. I almost asked by teacher if she could read minds because If you put two and two together a granitia is better form of an iced coffee. We walked across town.. aka two streets away from my apartment to this little hole in the wall gelatoria and we ordered in Italian, small coffee granitias. I didn't even have to kill anyone today and my dream came true. We didn't have to do our skits and we just drank iced coffee and talked about life. Not to mention we got to leave straight from the coffee shop which meant that we were able to leave class 30 minutes early. With a smile on my face, caffeine in my blood, the gorilla and I skipped over to the market to get some lunch and dried fruit for our barcelona adventure this afternoon. We were originally going to bank off the free samples they offer in the market for lunch but we stopped at a place we had sampled from before and the man grabbed his knife and started threatening to cut off our hands. I didn't understand him the first time and I thought he was joking so I took a piece of bread. Then the Gorilla heard him say "Bambino Bambino, and combined with his rather vulgar sawing motion to his left head. We translated that as "I cut your baby hands off". Very confused, I grabbed an olive and walked away. I am still confused as to what he was trying to say but we decided that spending three euro on an egg and veggie sandwich was much better than having our baby hands chopped off. Even now as I am writing this blog I am still confused and will probably have bad dreams tonight about the thought of butcher wanting to chop off my hands. I had ants in my pants all through panting because after class the Gorilla and I were going to embark upon our first non Italian travel adventure...watch out Spain, the Gorilla and the Sidekick are coming to Barcelona. I am skipping school aka I am only skipping one class because my photo teacher is still sick and we are going to stay with my long lost lover Gef, my long lost pony neighbor Amy, and my long lost Frank's freak Julia (they decided to study it up Spanish style for the semester) Unlike last time, we actually did research about how were going to get from point a to b before coming. We found out that we actually had to take an hour bus from the airport to Barcelona that would actually run during the times were coming in because we decided no more rides from strangers and we can't judge spaniards like we can Italians. So just pre-warning you, expect an adventure because I officially decided my life is pretty much a joke. My cousin reconfirmed that the other night and she only speaks the truth. We get aboard the Florence to Bologna train because while florence is the best city in the world, it is impossible to find a flight out of. Our flight was leaving at 8:45 p.m. from Bologna to Barcelona and just to make sure we would get there on time, we left at 4:38. The train was wonderful, quick and easy. We read online that we could "apparently" take a five minute bus from Bologna bus station to the Bologna airport. We were able to find a cheap flight on Ryanair (which for all you ol folk, it is the european version of a lower class, student friendly budget airline) We get off the train in Bologna and immediately see a bus for the airport. Luckily we asked a lady on the bus if this takes us to Ryanair airport. First off we were on the wrong bus, second of all the Bologna Forli airport is not in Bologna and Forli is actually another city even though Ryanair has both online and on the ticket (that we did print off before coming.,..."yeah" to being responsible) The nice young lady tells us that the airport we need to be at is an hour away from here, and that we can take a bus or get on a train. The next 20 minutes of my life was actually as if someone video tapped me and put me on fast forward double time and then put me in rewind. We literally ran, and by that I mean darted off the bus we were on and then back in the train station, We asked for information on the bus times and found out that the bus was leaving in four minutes. After two of those four minutes were used with the bus attendee explaining to us how to get to the bus station, we literally sprinted to the bus station. and by sprinted I mean, rocket powered because the Gorilla ran out in the middle of the street without looking both ways (and I being her sidekick followed) just so we could get to the bus station. Well can you guys guess what happened next. Typical we missed the bus because chit chat bus lady used up 3 of our minutes and there was no way that a Gorilla and her Sidekick with two large bags could run down the street and across in one minute. When we arrived at the bus station empty bused, four nasty Albanian men starting hooting and hollering at us, and I just couldn't take it anymore and I dropped a big f-bomb on them. About to burst in to the tears, (actually just the Gorilla..I just felt like I was having heart murmurs) we stopped to ask a bus attendant if there is a train we could take. I had never met such a nice and good looking bus attendant and he assured us that we were going to be just fine, he sold us our tickets and we head to the airport. So for all of you traveling from Florence to Barcelona, taking a flight out of Bologna, Ryanair does not speak the truth and you must get to Forli airport, which is actually not in Bologna. Two train stops later, we arrived at the Flori train station. A creepy man sitting next to us in our train (he looked like garbage can version of Screech from Saved By the Bell) offered to take us to the airport. He was weirdly checking out the Gorilla's ipod and kept starring at us during the entire train ride, so we decided to actually use our brains this time and refused the ride and decided that if there was a bus available we should take it. Indeed there was and we made it to Forli airport a-okay. The Gorilla and I finally made it on to the plane, however the Gorilla had to actually spoil our flight by letting out a huge Gorilla fart. I actually thought that I was going to die getting on this flight, or possibly die taking the flight, but after the Gorilla let one rip, I realized I was going to RIP from her gorilla gas.
The Gorilla actually thought that she might too perish in the unforgivable plague that escaped from amongst her granny panties, actually, it was just a suicide attempt to save herself from the misery of Ryanair. (from the Gorilla) I know how I said earlier in this post that God was on my side...now I am not so sure. I guess he is. Maybe I am just the worlds most unlucky lucky person.

post from two thousand and eight year in the month of february on the fifth day in the week day of wednesday.

Oh When The Saints Come Marching In.

I made my first accordion book today and I am still waiting on orders from you all so start emailing me because the ants in my pants have made it to my bra and finger tips and I am ready to start making journals and books. During my break before photo, I prepared for my presentation that I was "apparently" going to give in class today, along with turning in my first photo assignment. My class arrived at photo and waited for five minutes, then ten and then jokingly our class decided that if she didn't come after 15 minutes we have our students rights to leave. We waited for nearly 15 minutes and then the brilliant Canadian (they are good for something) in our class looked at the door and saw that our teacher left us a note that class was canceled. SHABOO YA! I was actually thinking in my mind while preparing for this presentation that it would be pretty tight, tight like my jeans are on me know because I have gained the florentine fifty, If my teacher didn't show up and I didn't have to give my presentation. The Gorilla and I stayed up at the art school after class because our internet when out this afternoon and we needed to figure our plans out for the weekend and the next. This weekend and by that I mean tomorrow the Gorilla and I are heading to Barcelona and we just decided to head to Switzerland, Lucerne to be exact, the weekend after. We have learned very quickly that it is important to book things in advance. While the Gorilla was sending in her life to the world (aka her resumes across the world) and while I was skyping my friend Scott, loud drums and children screaming started to fill the streets around us. At first I thought it was the anarchists that had been protesting the night before (weird i know, for anarchists to gather together to protest but they are italians, enough said) then I thought that World War Three had started in Italy because the Italian government is no longer in office right now. But non of those things were true but rather it was a carnival parade that the local school was putting on. Similar to lancer day, actually only similar in the fact that it was a huge parade, hundreds of little chillin were dressed in every type of costume, from cows, to kittens, to euro store masks to even a trojan warrior. Confetti filled the streets and silly string was getting really silly all over the place. A small drumming band was going at it and a group of teachers followed (young and REALLY old) dressed like raggedy anne dolls. Then there were teachers (what we assumed to be teachers or else they were just really overly excited people singing and dancing and monitoring massive amounts of pee bodies) dressed in a all sorts of attires, from pig costumes, to pink zebras, you think of it, this parade had it. The gorilla and I ran out in to the streets to enjoy the fun for a little bit but then i was scared some might steal my computer so we ran back to school (for some reason i always think the world is out to get me) we went to Anna's for dinner for the typical and then headed back home to clean and pack. we were going to go to our favorite hang out because our internet was out but luckily as we were about to leave, the internet when back on. I met erica and sara for some gelato aka my favorite food.


p.s. Bus Station: Oh I forgot one minor detail about my day. After dinner we decided to buy our train tickets tonight because we are leaving right after class tomorrow to go to barcelepski. We are actually trying to be responsible travelers this time around. We got "apparently" got a free voucher for a train ride because we decided to come home early from Venice and the train was cheaper on the return, thus we got a voucher. Being the innocent amuricans that we are we trusted miss weed-wacker train lady (her hair looked like someone had taken a weed-wacker to it) and she gave us a train ticket that is only valid from

from tuesday the fifthness of february in the yearth two thousand and eigth

lessons to be learned + photogs for the home dogs.

[my first photog project]


I had to stay after class tonight to finish my photog project that is due tomorrow. I love the art schools system they have set up here because they close the studios down at 11:00 pm. Which basically means that if you haven't finished your work by 11:00 pm tough luck but go enjoy your evening because you only live once (deep). Michigan should learn from this system.

post from the day of fourness, in the month of february, in the two thousand and eightness.

my family from across the world.

normally sundays are good days to do nothing. but not this sunday.

I am carrying on my family Sunday night dinner tradition with my extended family here in Florence. I cooked for 10 people (I strongly emphasize the "I" because the Gorilla actually did nothing to help) a scrumptious cuisine of pasta and broccoli (half with garlic, for the garlic lovers and half with out, for the garlic haters), eggplant and zucchini on the side (they are acquired tastes), bread, tomatoes, parmesan and olive oil along with a side of cheese and crackers. Dara, Effie, Erica, Sara, Rachel, Adam and the Gorilla and I gathered around our dining room table for long stories and long laughs. I went to the painting studio tonight to finish my still that is due tomorrow. Across the world my real family was enjoying their family dinner at my house while I was enjoying my family dinner. They loved it so much the transformed into family dinner creatures (see above)

post from sunday the third of february in the year two thousand and eight.

no longer a gorilla face.

i want to see your face.

Rain Rain Go Away, If You Won't We Won't Stay.

In the middle of the night I awoke to a burst bee's moppity-mop-it traveling hippie climbing into the top bunk of the Gorilla's bunk bed. We had been expecting our other mysterious roommate to arrive but we did not expect it to be at 4:00 in the morning. She started talking to us as if it were 4 in the afternoon, but still a little drugged from the tylenol pm I took last night (because I was about to kill the Gorilla with my snores the night before. I normally don't snore but I have a wee bit of a cold, and the Gorilla told me she didn't sleep at all last night because shnoze face me was growling the whole night) I remember briefly talking to her but then I dozed right back to sleep. She climbed right into the unmade pasty colored mattress and went to bed, no sheets no pjs. When our alarm went off the Gorilla and I showered and got dressed as soon as possible for fear our roommate might want to join us for the day. We were not sure if she was traveling by herself. Unfortunately it was raining so the Gorilla and I decided to take the late train home tonight so we wouldn't a. have to pay another night at the fema b. be in the rain all day and c. so we could come home to our own beds and enjoy a relaxing Sunday. We ventured around Venice all day, dodging umbrella tops and while drinking bellini's. We checked our bags in at the train station so we didn't have to carry them around. I discovered that my new favorite drink is the Bellini and I could drink it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. What a great discovery, something my parents will be so proud of, their daughter discovering her favorite alcoholic drink. Life changing! Miraculously we were able to get a cheaper train home and we even got a voucher for a free train ride to use at a later date. We boarded the train to Bolgna. Exhausted I went into narco narco state of being. We got off at Bolgna only to realize that our next train wasn't going to take us to the right train station in Florence. Typical. Rather than buying another ticket we decided to be the inferior Gorilla and sidekick and just hop aboard the train we wanted to go on. With no seating assignments and no legit ticket we picked a random cart with a sleeping artist/ former jazz club piano player (I am not sure what he really does, those are just my guess, if I had to choose). The train clicker came around, noticed we had the wrong tickets and then proceeded on to the next cart. It must have been a lucky ticket because I know the Gorilla and I are not lucky. We made it home safe and sound.

p.s. For those of you wondering...Venice is not sinking. I learned this weekend that it is actually the water that is rising and it won't be for another 200 years or more until it goes under. So those of you aka the Gorilla who told me that Venice was going to sink in the next 10 years, have no fear and you are wrong! But still go visit Venice. Best city in the world.

The Most Beautiful City In The World.

We were successfully able to take the number 4 four bus from the hostel to the airport and catch the number 5 bus to the train bus station and we were successfully able to make it into Venice. Although I lugged a whole bag filled with tuna cans, pasta, euro juice boxes and oatmeal, the Gorilla and I thought we deserved to eat some human/gorilla food in Venice. (our roommates told us that they had a kitchenette in their trailer but the only thing remotely close to a kitchen appliance was right outside our trailer...the freezing air. We stopped at the first whole in the wall pizza place and chowed down on a large slice of margherita pizza. Vorrei un pizza margherita. I am not quite sure where to even start on my day and I am sorry if things seem out of order or don't make sense. All I have to say is go to Venice during Carnival and you will understand everything. But if you can't make it in January, just go to Venice in general because it will change your life. For those of you unaware of what Carnival is, let me explain. Prior to going, I was informed that it was similar to our version of Mardi Gras and lets just say, no who-ha's were being shown for any beads, and even if they were, they would be insane and their nips would probably break off from the cold. Second of all, it is not nearly as crazy in the sense that everyone is playing the game of blackout or drunk skunk. Rather Carnival is like Halloween meets a masquerade ball and with thousands of people. As my roommate described it "you got the young, you got the old, you got the small, you got the fat, the attractive and the ugly, the masked and the unmasked, the drunk and the not drunk"(even though later she explained that she thinks she was the only drunk one because they decided that in order to stay warm they should play a little game of edward-forty-hands and drink themselves warm...don't worry the Gorilla and I are not insane, we just sipped hot wines, downed a few beers because we are legal and we can!) After pizza and with no plans ahead of us, we were off to explore Venice. First of all, there are no cars in Venice, and I think I saw one or two bikes sporadically riding throughout the city. Second of all Venice is rather confusing because every street looks like the next and at the same time every streets architecture, design and bridge are all different. There is a joke throughout Venice that when asking where you can find San Marco square you should take your left and point in one way and your right hand and point in another. They have million signs through out the city that "apparently" lead you to San Marco square or to the Rialto bridge, but the Gorilla and I found that we were constantly going in circles and it was like one big maize to try to find anything but I didn't hate it. I actually loved that it was so mysterious, it is what made the city so magical. In order to blend in, the Gorilla and I purchased masks, a blue to match my eyes and a red to match the Gorilla's scarf. And in order to stay warm, we treated our frozen little tushies to some hot wine. We finally found San Marco square and there are no words to describe its beauty and splendor. Every five steps people were dressed in the most elaborate costumes and masks and it was as if I had set up my dream photo shoot. My hands went crazy and my camera almost ran out of memory space. The Gorilla and I were getting a little cold so logically we decided the best thing to do was to eat. For some reason we decided that going into an Asian restaurant in Venice was a good idea. I think it was that they were offering free sitting with no service charge (usually if you sit down, you pay a service charge) but 18 euros after we realized that they didn't have a kitchen in the restaurant and that they had served us microwave pasta dishes. Despite the terrible food, it was a rather entertaining dinner. A Swedish family fell for the free service fee trap as well and their daughter was dressed in full flower power costume and by that I mean I think they cleared out the fake flower store because her entire costume was covered in fake flowers. Her head looked like a garden and her face was covered with a metal butterfly mask. From my description you might think this girl is what 5 or 10 years old. Yeah, no. I think she was at least 20 or older. She was a rather large and extremely tall flower giant. Her looks weren't the only funny thing, but rather than taking off her mask to eat, her dad held up one side of her mask while she shoved food under the opening. I almost died. After our not so lean cuisine we headed back out to San Marco square to watch little sperm men with lighting boults rocket power through the air (Men dressed in spandex silver onesies, did flips and splits off a trampoline contraption while fire works and loud music filled the stage. Only in Europe would this be acceptable) I forgot to mention that earlier in the day, they had a performance where they dressed volunteers from the audience in white willy wonka onesies and were instructed to paint a larger than life work of art. After ten minutes of painting, the hosts for the show (imagine the main character from "We Sing in Sillyville" on massive drugs and italian, with her sidekick host who in his past life was for sure a leprechaun, but in his present life was a bald headed 40 year old pot belly man in a velvet green suit) they revealed the grand painting but unfortunately they decided to paint a girl sniffing a blue flower ( I still haven't figure that one out but it was pretty cool) Two freak shows down the Gorilla and I were heading to a bar right near San Marco square when all of the sudden a stampede of 50 drunk college students dressed in zoo creatures ran into the bar, chanting some Italian cheer and downing, what I later learned were called "spritzers". Pigs, Zebras, Octopus heads, monkeys, superhero's and even two diapered babies filled the bar. The Gorilla and I watched through the window like two little children in in front of the toy shop in aw until two boys, one furry Gorilla and one Mask of Zorro were all of the sudden standing outside talking to us. The Furry Gorilla was actually a boy dressed in a Gorilla costume with coconut boobies, just to clarify the two Gorilla's. The Furry Gorilla greeted me with a cheerful hello and then all of the sudden grabs my hand as if he is going to kiss it. Slightly impressed and a little blushing, I smile back at him in hopes that he will actually kiss it but no. No he did not kiss my hand. Do know what he did? HE LICKED IT. HE GRABBED MY LICKED IT and then proceeded to gnaw on it. I mean what did I expect, he was actually a Gorilla, not a prince charming in the least bit. I am not sure if some evil mean girl has placed a "lick me" sign on my back but this is the second time in two weeks that I have been licked. A little weirded out the Gorilla and I proceed to talk to these boys for some odd reason and then head to the bar to test out these "spritzers". We later found out this cluster of farm animals and what-nots were a group of college students from Siena, enjoying their carnival celebrations by doing a pub crawl. We wandered around the city, but were pretty exhausted, so we took the early bus home around 9:30 to guarantee that we would not have to hitch a ride this time around.

posted friday february first two thousand and eight.

i thought thursday was over in the last post. but no it wasn't.

So where did I leave you. oh yes the bug lights, my eyes dipped in acid tired, and me facing the greece balled-freckle connecting Gorilla. oh well the story of my thursday actually just started right where I left off on my last post. We finally arrived in Venice a little "retardo" (no I am not being offensive, it is the Italian word for late) Having come ever so slightly unprepared, we got off the train and moseyed our way through what looked like Hogwarts train station.  In fact, the lady across from me on the train actually looked like Professor McGonigall's sister. The station was completely empty, no trains, just waves of fog and lost students with luggage at hand ( I actually think they filmed HP there) Thank goodness our roommates came Venice last weekend and thank goodness we asked them for directions literally two minutes before we left (in life two minutes might not seem that long, you brush your teeth for two minutes, my mom can sneeze for two minutes and it takes my dad two minutes to say one sentence in the heat of a story...but in Gorilla and sidekick time, two minutes can mean the world) and while two minutes doesn't seem like much those two minutes partially saved our lives.  We got on bus number 5 that was "apparently" going to take us to the airport, that would then "apparently" take us to our hostel. Venice is an extremely expensive city, so most hostels (aka a students five star hotel) are located all over the out skirts of the city.  Bus number 5 did indeed take us to the airport (one down) but little did we know that the bus from the airport to the hostel stopped running at 9:40 pm.  At 9:40 pm the Gorilla was listening to Brittany Spears on the train, while I was writing my last post. At 12:30 am, the Gorilla and I were trying to get on that same bus that stopped running AT 9:40!! Slightly nervous, slightly confused as to what we should do, we attempted to go inside the airport but our first test was a failure and the doors were locked.  At this point, I just wanted to cry and I thought we were going to be sleeping on our backpacks wrapped in our towels outside the airport.  But like in all Gorilla and sidekick adventures, the number one rule is to never give up.  We followed our motto and proceeded to walk around the other side of the airport and just was we approached the door a lady was leaving and we snuck in.  At this point, I was accepting that we were going to sleep on our backpacks wrapped in our towels inside the airport.  Right when we entered, I just happened to stop a rather young and charming airport attendee to ask him where we might find a number for a cab.  I explain to him that we missed the bus and needed to get to our hostel (I did find the name of the hostel by the way) He stops and instead offers us a ride to the hostel.  He told us that it was right on his way home and that he would have no problem and no charge.  A little hesitant at first, charming young man could tell we did not trust him and he told us that the cabs were very expensive. $$$ (but imagine those dollar signs as euro signs...and then you get a little dizzy...it could cost 80 euro and that is almost 160 U.S dollars and that is 80 things we could potentially buy at the euro store and that is 80 euros we were going to use to pay for our hostel and all of our food for the weekend).  As soon as he said that the Gorilla and I looked each other straight in the eyes and decided that death was better than an expensive taxi ride (and who knew if we could even get a taxi and who knew if Mr. taxi man would even be safe) Instantly, the Gorilla and I forgot everything we had ever learned since the day we could walk and talk at the same time and decided that we would rather die than pay 80 euro to get to our hostel.  So Ricardo, the airport attendee kindly walked us through the miles of fog (the fog was so bad, you could actually not see more than 10 feet in front of you) to his euro style Fiat car. The entire walk there I kept thinking of all the items that I had in my backpack that I could offer him/ attack him with if god forbid something happened.  I had a pair scissors, an exacto knife, really stinky farts, and the most important weapon of mass destruction...the GORILLA.  And I could also bribe him with an ATM card that is worthless without the pin code (hahaha), 20 euros and possibly he might want my janky cell phone (but probably not) Through the fog we zoomed in and out of the street and around a couple of rotaries.  With only a few moments of awkward silences, and sing-a-long to Amy Winehouse, we were able to tell Ricardo our names in Italian and where we were from and he gave us tips about going into Venice. [mother I know you are probably having a heart attack, but Ricardo was a kind young man, a safe driver and works for the airline company] More than anything, I was scared we might be road kill because it was impossible to see out of Ricardo's bitty mobile but he reassured us that he had done this drive for over 3 years now. Luckily Ricardo, the airport attendee was a nice young man, and an episode of Law and Order: International Crimes, did not occur. 20 minutes later we arrived at our hostel, Alba D'Oro (or as one of my roommates told me how to remember it, Alba, as in Jessica Alba) Now if  you think that our rendezvous with Ricardo was sketchy, just wait until you hear about the "hostel" we arrived at.  Our roommates had stayed at the same hostel last weekend and came back describing as being similar to a fema trailer park and their description wasn't anything shy of that.  We arrive at the gates slightly concerned we were a. at the wrong place and b. that we were not going to be able to check in but luckily pimp daddy nigerian hostel man was waiting for someone to arrive.  At this point it was now 1:00 in the morning and he told us that we didn't have a reservation but before I could start convulsing, the Gorilla found my name on the check-in list. In order to get a full understanding of what this hostel was really like you need to pull out your little imagination button and press it REALLY hard. Imagine a huge plot of land that has just been hit by a tornado, a hurricane, maybe even a tsunami, or better yet a crater from Mars followed by rain. Got that in your head, then imagine that the red cross came in for an emergency clean up and then habitat for humanity invested their money into purchasing trailers instead of building homes. I bet your imagination is going wild because my entire world has now changed since this experience.  Setup like small prison camp barracks, each individual trailer is designed a little differently.  You have the singles in one row, you got the doubles in another, the triples and so on. Okay, I am posting pictures but sometimes photographic images are not able to capture exactly how something might be and words are always good to use.  Exhausted from a full day of class, a 2 hour train ride, a quasi hitch hike car ride and a long check in, we hauled our stuff across the park and arrived at our pin. Pin number 27 (they called each trailer a pin) The door was unlocked, so the Gorilla made me go first.  While the Gorilla is a Gorilla, I am a little more brave when it comes to opening trailer homes at 2 in the morning when the door is unlocked.  A bunk bed, a cot, a remote control heater, a bathroom, a closet, two shelves and two blankets was what we got, but it was really all we needed. We truly paid for what we got. For 16.50 euro a night, I was pleasantly surprised. As a young girl growing up, my sister and I always fantasized that our dream home would be a mobile home that was parked outside of Disney World and in some bizarre way, I was fulfilling .00001 percent of the long lost desire to live in a mobile home.  Many people say that Venice is a fairy tale city and Disney is exactly that. Oh and one more thing to add to the day.  When we made our reservations online we could only find a three person room/trailer and we assumed no girl would travel alone, so we wouldn't have to worry but when we arrived we found out we would be getting one. Well I think that now raps up my thurs-day-night-fri-morn.  

p.s. I just "free translated" the word Alba D'Oro from Italian to English and it means dawn of the gold. I still need to do a little thinking about this one.

p.s.s. Mr. Webster you can add that word "free translated" to your 3,000 edition! 

Crazy Rice. Florescent Lights. Welcoming Venice Nights.

I am actually getting sick. Mom don't worry. I will be fine but for the first time in a really long time (aka since the snip snip of the tonsils tonsils) I have had a wee bit of a sore throat.  Luckily Thursdays are my favorite days so I was able to perk up a bit. In bookmaking I learned how to make my own book binding cloth.  I am so artsy fartsy these days...all I want is a Michael's and shopping cart because it is rather difficult to find the supplies I need here. But now I can take any fabric my little heart desires and make it into a cover using an ancient Japanese process using wheat starch.  I feel like a bubby but instead of knitting all day...I just want to make books and books. Guess what I had for lunch? Anna's! I stayed after class today to work on photog because I am heading to Venice tonight for Carnival and I have a project due the Tuesday I return. 5 1/2 hours later, slightly on happy pills because of the chemicals and the "crazy rice" I devoured while waiting for my film to dry, I finished only 3 of the 5 prints. (p.s. crazy chips are like coco crispies in the States but they look more like gerbil food and taste a little bit like coco-cardboard but they only cost 1 euro..oh how I love the euro store) After class the Gorilla and I rushed home to pack for Venice and gather enough food for the weekend so we wouldn't have to pay for food in Venice (our roommates went last weekend and said that it was rather pricey and that they didn't have a euro store) Right now I am sitting on the trainto Venice writing this blog of bloggy-ness while the Gorilla is playing connect the dots freckles astrology style and is connecting every single freckle on her arm. I kind of feel like I want to vomit right now because I am so exhausted, that kind of exhausted where your eyes burn and your fingers feel fat from traveling but I can't because they have lined the train with florescent lights or incandescent bug lights for those of you who don't understand the pain that I am in.  I am facing the Gorilla and she looks rather similar to olive oil head man because she forgot to wash all of the shampoo out of her hair today and I look like a cow that has been tipped over while sleeping and is discombobulated.  The man behind me is blasting show tunes but looks diabetic and depressed (The Gorilla wanted to offer him some gummies but she thought it might raise his blood sugar) Before getting on the train the Gorilla and I stopped by the euro store to buy three bags of gummies that was supposed to last us the entire weekend but the gummies here are like drugs, and 2 bags down, you could say we have an addiction to rasta pasta sours sticks and friendly farm animals chews. We really have no clue how to get to the hostel we are staying at tonight and I can't even remember the name of it but like all Gorilla and sidekick adventures, I know we will figure it out.  Nothing could be more exciting than plopping me and the Gorilla in Venice during the most crazy time of the year. We just arrived in Venice. Dear god, help me.

-ciao ciao

+written on the train to Venice on January 31, 2008 at approximately 22:00. 

Delausted.

Practically dead from the Gorilla's birthday celebrations, I felt pretty wah wah all day long and even started to do the "John Isenberg-during-any-dinner party-slash-all-late-night temple-services" head nod in my art history class. I almost finished my still life painting and hopefully will finish it sometime this weekend. In Italian lab this afternoon we had to sing a song about an Italian man describing a women as being hot like bread, pretty as a passport with a babies picture in it (whatever that means) and being as beautiful as a nude bride on her wedding day.  The Italian men are truly freaky but it was rather entertaining.  We also had to go around the room and describe our future/dream/perfect husbands in Italian using different adjectives. Listen up future hubbies. Con gli occhi blu, bello, alto, forte, robusto, abronzato, felice, simpatico, intelligenti, onesto, artistico, ricco, moro, divertenti. (go to freetranslation.com all you long lost lovers) Almost 100 percent exhausted after a full day of classes, the Gorilla and I stopped by the "asian market" (thats what they call it because it is run by asians however it has the most American food compared to all the other grocery stores) to pick up some spinach, eggplant and chicken.  We made a delicious meal. Erica and Sara finally arrived in Italy today and they live literally just a hop, a skip and a jump over the Medici palace. Early bed time tonight. Off to Venice tomorrow night for Carnival.

P.S. Despite what the Gorilla might tell you, she does snore. Rather she makes the earth rumble with her breath and shnooze. 

Now Legal In Every Country.

I forgot to bring bitty bot's computer cord so I just took a picture of the camera (bitty bot is the name of my small digital camera)

Don't Be Scared Children...It Is Just The Gorilla.

I found a Gorilla mask at the euro store and gave it to the Gorilla for her birthday.

January 29, 2008: Happy Birthday Gorilla!

I woke up early to decorate the apartment with the Gorilla's birthday surprise necessities from the euro store. I made her her favorite Gorilla feast but a little tired from the night before I dropped a few things like a pot and a fork on the floor while trying to make breakfast, so I think I woke the Gorilla up a little earlier than I had expected and a little earlier than she probably wanted to. We went to book arts and I finished my first hand made 40 paged journal. Remember I am starting a journal making company called Eanj + Fata so place your orders now..e-mail me at aji@umich.edu...if you want a one-of-a-kind-hand-made journal..just a simple email is all you need (because hand made things are always better made!) After class we went to Anna's for the usual (you should all know the order by now, so no need to repeat) and then we came home for a little nappy nap before hippie-hairy-mold photog ( I discovered my photo teacher has a rather large mole on her neck that has a small garden of hairs sprouting from it...delightful and very nice to draw). The Gorilla gave a presentation in class today and it was very interesting. Good job Gorilla!...you actually did something before me (mine is next week) Tonight we had an apertivo at our apartment. The twins cooked up a huge feast and our roommates decorated and bought more euro wine. It was an instant repeat of last night until our landlord came knocking at the door and obviously I was closest to the door. And obviously I was one the one who answered it. In a rather stern voice and violent arms motioning our land lord said "enough". And enough was enough. We had had enough. Well actually not quite enough...so we decided to go out. The masses of Americans have really started to go to our favorite hotspots. We headed to Beebop for a little Tuesday night grind to the Beatles but were could not even able walk down the stairs because it was so crowded with Amuricans and sweat waterfalls were dripping down the walls. I met up with Meredith (she just got to Florence tonight) and I also had another camp chi-jew-crew reunion in the middle of the street. By 11:30pm I was getting rather tired but the crew decided to head to JJ's. Thankfully it smelled like pee and it was too crowded that we were able to go home. HAPPY GORILLA BIRTHDAY GORILLA!

P.S. The night before @ JJ's we made the Gorilla wear an indian head dress and 2 guys bought her drinks. Tonight we made her wear a birthday cone hat. The bar tender questioned her as to how many nights she was planning to celebrate her birthday and she instantly told him that her birthday was a 24 hour celebration and then he gave her a free drink. She only speaks the truth. It truly was a 24 hour celebration and more fun than one gorilla and a sidekick could ask for.

A Night of Faces: Gorilla Faces, Volcano Faces, No Faces.

Because the Gorilla is not an average human being (she is actually a Gorilla) she had to have a Gorilla birthday. Not an average human birthday, but indeed a Gorilla one and thus it lasted 24 hours long. Last night I went to the euro store to begin preparing for the g-day. I bought all of the necessities in order to have the perfect Gorilla celebration. Items such as an indian head dress with multicolored feathers, 2 paper accordion lanterns, 1 dancing clown on a string, 3 bags of balloons, singing farm animals on a string of flags, 2 ballon patterned table cloths, candles in the shape of a 2 and a 1, streamers, blow horns and most importantly 10 bottles of euro wine. Just the basics. After class today, I stopped by the Centro (grocery store on my street) to pick up a few of the Gorilla's favorite breakfast foods so that in the morning when we wake up after a night of Gorilla celebration, and we can eat Gorilla food (my gorilla is a very special gorilla because she eats very high quality gorilla food...no kibbles and bits) Eggs, spinach, tomatoes, Special K with chocolate chips, and peach yogurt ( but we freeze the peach yogurt...we thought of this genius idea to quench our gelato cravings by buying huge cartons of yogurt and then freezing them to trick our minds into believing it is just like gelato...and it has worked..but sometimes we eat it as breakfast) Class class all day but after class we showered and got all dressed up to go this famous restaurant called Il Latini. Apparently they don't have a menu and people stand outside and the restaurant chooses you to come in. I say apparently because we never made it there. We were on our way out the door and I made the bold move to double check its location online and realized that in corner in small helvetica font it read closed on Mondays. Thats why I say apparently and thats why we never made there. This is not the only "apparently" moment of our evening but you will just have to wait for the next one. We decided instead to go to a restaurant that Ernest Hemingway used to go to to get his creative writing juices and a bunch artists are also known to have dined at this restaurant. Being the artists that we pretend to be, we thought it would be an appropriate back up to the "closed on mondays il latini". We ordered pesto with pine nuts pasta and a veggie pizza and the bar tender whipped us out two strong fruity + vodka drinks. Our dinner was fabulous, slightly lesbonic but wonderful. We were debating whether or not to get dessert but the waiter surprised us both with a drink and crumpet. He brought out 2 shots of what looked like foggy yellow pine sol and a small pastry, along with a rendition of happy birthday that sounded more like habby-de-birt-did-day what your name? AY DA-habby-de-birt-dey-too-ooo. Wowza the drink was strong and wowza the crumpet was delicious. It had this small little unknown fruit/veggie on top of it and when I tried it I thought it was a cherry tomato but the Gorilla thought I was an idiot. I think that I thought it looked like a tomato so I tricked myself in believing it was but now that I really analyze it, it was some type of berry. Tomato, Tomato, Potato, Potato. The waiter tried to convince us to go this bar called Amadaus and told us he would be there at 11:30 to buy us shots but we were on a mission to find this mysterious bar called Faces that apparently (note the word) had an open bar. Apparently you could pay a 10 euro cover fee and then it is "free" drinks all night long. 10 euro for endless drinks...impossible. All we knew about this Faces place was that it was on the other side of the Arno. We asked our waiter if he had heard of it but he said no and then persisted on us going to Amadaus. Like all adventures that the Gorilla and I embark up on, we do them determination and do not give up. We stopped at four very tempting gelatoris but no one had heard of it. We finally found a person who "apparently" knew where this open bar was. She said "oh yeah, open bar, faces, river" and a couple of hand singles followed by "yah, and ya's". We followed her "directions" exactly and arrived at an actual bar called "Open Bar", no not Faces, but a bar called "Open Bar". First failed attempt to find Faces (but second failed attempt to get somewhere as far as the evening goes) We decided to call our friend Max (who lives on the other side of the river) thinking he might know but he was more drunk then someone turning 21 should be. He met us in the middle of street and rocket powered the Gorilla into the air with ginormous hug. But we were a little worried that he was too drunk to hangout with us, so we walked him to his apartment and continued our adventure (side note: Max did not show up to our 9:30 class the day after..just to let you know!) Three bars down and a drink later we finally found someone who knew where it was. He pointed us in the direction and we were on our way but 5 seconds later he came running after us yelling "girls..it closed..it closed!". What we could gather from the cute little Italian munchkin was that it had closed because it had presumably gotten in trouble. But still curious and not satisfied with his answer (as all Gorilla's and sidekicks get) we decided to continue to follow his directions and we finally found the open bar, Faces (that at one point did exist) Almost as sketchy as the Florence ghetto, Faces, was once a hoppin club located in a small alleyway on the other side of the Arno with illegal black windows and small gold lettering on the outside. I freaked the Gorilla out by screaming because I looked in the window and it scared me so I screeched. Like the three little piggies, we "wee wee wee'd" all the way home slightly pissed but still in the mood to celebrate. We decided to bring the party to our apartment and with 10 bottles of euro wine, it was not hard to start. Surprisingly I am adjusting to my freaky roommates more and more and they actually joined us for an 80's power hour, along with Dina, Chatty and Kathy. 20 minutes into the power hour the clock stroke 12 and nutella birthday cake, pretzel shaped cookies, grocery story bought gelato filled the table and the candles were blown out with one monstrous Gorilla breath blow. Many pictures were taken, much wine was drank-en and then off to JJ's we did go. Unfortunately one of our roommates had never done a power hour nor did she tell us this until after it was too late and she threw up everywhere. I being the responsible roommate, took her home early which led to volcano vomiting all over her face. This was just not the night for all kinds of faces, but as a whole the night ended with a bang. While we didn't find faces, we did save 10 euros each on a night out.

Sundays are good days to do nothing (Amy Winehouse Style aka on *crack version*)

As you can tell I am little bit behind on my bloggy-of- bloggy-ness, so the next couple of days might be rather short BUT have no fear they are of the most important key and exciting tales about my glorious days in Flo-yo...Flor- to- the-ence. After my rather inter-licking-esting night, I decided that sleeping in was the only way to cure the severe (determinental) damages caused by last nights lick-scapade.  Jewish geography is pretty unbelievable.  If you are jewish you really just know everyone and their mother, literally.  Through another Camp Chi connection (that being a jew crew connection) my friend Jordan came to stay the day with me.  He is technically staying the whole semester and living with my friend Paul (who just happens to live down the street), however Paul was a taking un-tour-de-France this weekend and forgot to leave the key for him, so Jordan was pretty much homeless.  He hopped off the air plane and came to stay the day at the wondrous Via dei Ginori.  I didn't really do much today, but I did go on a run but on a different side of town.  While it was a great idea to go running on the other side of town because there were less people to ooo and ahhh at my badonkadonk, I am not so sure it was the best part of town to go running in.  I just happen to see a man pull down his pants in the middle of the street and hold on to the side rail and take a large poop.  While it is human to poop, we all do it (yes even girls poop..I can testify), it was rather disturbing and I actually had to cut my run a little bit short because I felt a little sick. After my poopy run, I came home and the Gorilla and I went out to dinner with a friend from high who we just happen to run into yesterday in Pisa and she is also studying abroad in Florence (her name is Hannah Paulsen for all you Shmeasters) Tonight, I prepared for the Gorilla's big 21 (on Tuesday the Gorilla becomes a legal a Gorilla, which is rather scary!) 

*and by crack I do not mean I am taking crack, nor did I write while taking crack, nor do I really even know what crack actually is.....I am just saying it is a rather speedy version. DO NOT WORRY BABS! I am not taking drugs, nor or my roommates, and no one is physically killing anyone, even though sometimes I do want to figuratively kill my roommates. 

Gorilla Hand + Prime Minister Orange = Gorilla With An Orange

I think I forgot to show you the orange the Gorilla stole. It started to rot 2 weeks later and the Gorilla tasted it but then got diseases. Well technically she already had them. This is the orange.

Just Like Heaven.

Just A Little Off.

Just A Small Comparison

Let Me See Your Shoulder Lean.

Pisa and Lucca. The oil farm schtick and men in winter still like to lick.

The alarm didn't go off at 7:00 am but rather the Gorilla went off at 7:24 screaming "ah what time is it?" "we are not going to make it" "allison, shit we are not going to make it". (The "it" the Gorilla was referring to was the bus that was living at 8 am that was going to take us to Pisa) 7:40: The Gorilla and I are half-way to the train station. 7:45: The Gorilla and I are at the bus station but we don't see anyone. 7:47: The Gorilla calls our friend Max to see if the bus had already left but he doesn't pick up. 7:48: We are the first people to arrive at the bus station for Pisa. If our apartment ever went into flames and we were told we had 10 minutes to get down stairs, we would be able to get fully dressed (in cute clothes, might I add), make up-uped, teeth brushed and even breakfast for the road and survive (granted the fire was on the other side of the apartment and it was a slow moving fire) . I decided that waking up for class an hour early is over rated when I can do it all in 10 minutes. Despite the fact the Gorilla cut her throat on piece of glass running there, and by that I mean, the air was so cold and we were so tired/slash getting sick, that it felt like she had cut her throat on a piece of glass. We got aboard the rumble-tumbler, and by that I mean, it was a short bus that had one wheel shorter than all the rest so it was rockin' and rollin', hence the name rumble-tumbler. Typical I narco narcoded all the way to Pisa. We get off the rumbler tumbler and arrive at the leaning tower of Disney Land, aka the leaning tower of Pisa. The tower was on the out skirts of the city because apparently back in the day they wanted to be "different" from all of their neighbors like Luccan's and Florentines and put their duomo and their baptistry on the outskirts to protect them from invaders. The tower was built to look out at the ocean and the land. Because the city is close to the water, and the land is unstable and they didn't build enough support to hold up the tower, thus the nice lean. Recently (and by recently I mean in the past 100 years..recently in European time can mean anything from 1 year to 100 years) engineers were able to devise a way to stabilize the tower aka. make its shoulder lean (let me see your shoulder lean). But they could of technically straightened that puppy out but that town makes nice money in the bank from all of the tourists. Obviously the Gorilla and I did what we do best and took the most ridiculous pictures in front of the tower. Look above for fun and games. After Pisa, the rumble tumbler quasi-took us to an olive oil farm/vinard located between Pisa and Lucca for another 5 course meal. I say quasi because we only got lost 4 times before we actually got there. Now I can not say for sure it 4 times, it might have been 5 because I was doing what I did best and um yeah I slept the whole way there. The olive oil farm was a small family owned farm, located on the most beautiful plot of land I have ever seen. The view was incredible. We took a small tour of the farm, but during the summer months families can rent part of the farm and live in a house with a full backyard, not to mention a private pool and free food. Apparently this season was not such a good one because some type of fly got into their olives and they were only able to make oil during the month of november for the entire year. Bread, followed by Risotto, followed by brushcetta, followed by beef and chicken, followed by grilled vegetables, followed by some more bread and concluding with 8 different flavors of pie to sample made up our lunch. The Gorilla and I met a pleasant group of girls this time around, and our entire table managed to finish everything they served us minus the freaky beef. After the last super-lunch, the tour continued on to Lucca. Unfortunately, because we got lost so many times going to the olive oil farm, we didn't have that much time to explore Lucca. BUT I finally found a pair of boots and they were only 24 euro. In honor of my mothers birthday, I bought myself some shoes. Happy Birthday Momma Jenny Isenberg! I got back from Lucca around 5, the Gorilla and I thought we should be normal American 20 year olds and go out. This is the part of the night where it just gets weird. Everyday something has to happen to the Gorilla and I that is either freaky or just plain old bizzare. This is that point in our day. We go to this bar called Astro or Aster or as the Gorilla calls it Asshole and we decided to go down in the basement to dance because I got my new dancin boots on and I needed to test them out. My freaky radar started ticking the minute I stepped down the stairs because of the nasty russian, hairy air pit mixed with piss and b.o. smell. The next sign of freakiness was that they had a fog machine. Finally the last clue of freakiness was the an extremely large population of young Italian boys (not men, but high school students) crowding the entire basement. Regardless all the freaky signs that my freak-o-meter of sending off, the Gorilla and I continued downstairs to dance. We start dancining with each other and then we start dancing with two other guys that seemed normal, but fun (normal, as in greecy hair, tight jeans, but not pelvic thursting and purring at you boys, thus making them normal) All of the sudden the boy that I was dancing with grabs my face, tells me that I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and then in no time at all her proceeded to LICK MY NECK. YES, LICK MY NECK. YUCK! I instantly wipe it off, give him the look of death and run away. I have a permanate non-visible scar bigger than Harry Potter's lighting bolt. After my freak-o-meter almost caught on fire, the Gorilla and I decided it was a good idea to head home and indeed it was.

New York has Harlem, Florence has Via Ponte alle Mosse

Fridays are wonderful and this friday was exceptionally wonderful.  Our roommates went to Venice for the weekend (yippie skippie doo) and the Gorilla and I had our Italian wonderland all to ourselves. After a rather long night, we slept in and by that I mean we woke at 5 am and stayed awake until 7 am while the devil did his damage at the gates of purgatory (aka my street) and then we went back to sleep and re-woke up at 12 pm.  I am not sure if you can technically count that as sleeping-in but we didn't get out of bed until then.  We made a delicious breakfast: our speciality, eggplant-spinach-tomato-omelet-in-a-pita delight and a big glass of black-as-death coffee (well, mine was more like black as death coffee with a side of milk, while the Gorilla's is straight black, she comes from the jungle and is thus able to drink death).  We decided to have breakfast on the roof because it was a beautiful morning. We met our neighbors, I think it was the same guy that saw the Gorilla's hoo hoo's the day before and we waved hello to the Duomo climbers. We decided to disinfect our house after the animals left, so as we used to do in the Isenberg household back in the day, we had a house cleaning party. I even mopped the floor and did a load of laundry.  Our weekend plans were up in the air (we knew we were going to go to Pisa and Lucca with our group on Saturday but today and Sunday, we were not so sure), but we were told to do all of the touristy things in Florence this weekend before the herds of tourists started coming.  Apparently in the next month the population of students/tourists in Florence is going to double.  The Gorilla and I decided that we were going to climb the Duomo and 460 steps later, and a little out of breath, we were standing on top of the world. Literally.  We could see the entire city, in the north we could see the snow on the tip top of the mountains and in the south the Arno was glistening.  I met my future husband on top of the Duomo but unfortunately he a. didn't know it b. he was studying in Rome and c. his friend had booger in his nose. After our Duomo workout, I finally went to the phone store to get a new phone because when shit happens, when water flows, when bags fill up with rain and phones swim in the streams, they stop working.  So, for those of you dying to call me...which I know you all are, my phone now officially works. The Gorilla and I were going to rent bikes and explore the city but by the time we got to the rental place, they only had one bike left.  I was willing to get a child seat adapter and pull the Gorilla around town like at a circus when the clown rides around with a monkey but they didn't give us that option, so we opted out of doing the whole bike thing completely.  By the time we made the executive decision not to play circus, it was already 5 pm. The rest of our day gets a little weird but it is a typical example of an adventure for me and the Gorilla. We decided to go to an apertivo because like all other nights, we didn't want to cook.  I geniously decided to google "best apertivo in Florence" and found a place that was supposed to be the best apertivo in the whole city.  I get the Gorilla all excited, we even get all dolled up. We started walking to this place called "Elliot Braun Bar", the Gorilla finds the street that it is located on on the map and we make our way there.  We assumed like all hoppin' places in Florence, that it would be relatively close but no it was not, not at all. I didn't even know that Florence had a ghetto, but I am a witness to it, and it does! We finally found the street that the bar was located on, only to walk for another 20 minutes, realizing at this point that we were no longer on the map. We finally get there and it was closed. We walked to the ghetto of Florence to eat at the cities (supposedly) best apertivo and it was CLOSED.  Come to think about it, it didn't even look like it had been open for over ten years. Probably because it was in the ghetto. The night only gets better.  We haul our hungry tummies back to our neck of the woods but obviously the adventure was not that easy.  We had to go to the bathroom really bad and peeing our pants was not an option.  We stop at one hotel because all of the coffee bars were closed but apparently the hotel manager tried to convince us that it was closed, even though we were standing inside the hotel. We walk another 2 minutes and go to another hotel. For the fear of being rejected again, I, in the heat of the moment, decided that it would be a good idea to throw out an accent when asking to use the restroom.  "Excuse me sir, my friend and I just missed our dinner reservation and we really need to use the restroom, do you mind?" was how I asked.  The Gorilla believed I sounded similar to a deaf Australian but it worked.  Either he pitied me for having such a bad accent or he was truly concerned that we had missed our dinner reservations and felt sorry for us (which doesn't really make sense why we needed to use his restroom, but like I said, it worked) On the way out, I made the Gorilla thank him. We finally found a pizza place somewhere between the ghetto and home because by then we were not too concerned with what we were going to eat for dinner (we wake up every morning saying that we are going to be "healthy" but that has yet to happen) We go to this restaurant, order pasta and pizza from a waiter who looks like he stuck his head in a vat of olive oil. Throughout our entire dinner, he kept stopping my to sing songs in my ear, give us free wine and make weird eye contact with both me and the Gorilla.  An hour later, and a little tipsy from the free drinks, we decided to leave.  Satisfied with both the meal and the price of the meal we headed home, leaving oil head a little tip.  We hadn't made it down the street before oil head comes running after us, calling for us.  At first I thought he wanted to get our attention and tell us something, then I realized he was holding something and I thought he wanted to give us back the tip we had left him.  I yelled back to him, "No, its for you". I repeated it several times but he still kept waving and calling for us.  Finally, I went back to see what he wanted and he was holding my ring that I had left on the table by accident (the Gorilla and I were romantically sitting together and she wanted to see a ring my mom had given me) When I met up with him, he gracefully put my ring back on finger and then he kissed my hand.  A little bit of oil dripped on to my hand in the process.  At this point in the evening, I was spent and the Gorilla and I came home and went to bed.