We were successfully able to take the number 4 four bus from the hostel to the airport and catch the number 5 bus to the train bus station and we were successfully able to make it into Venice. Although I lugged a whole bag filled with tuna cans, pasta, euro juice boxes and oatmeal, the Gorilla and I thought we deserved to eat some human/gorilla food in Venice. (our roommates told us that they had a kitchenette in their trailer but the only thing remotely close to a kitchen appliance was right outside our trailer...the freezing air. We stopped at the first whole in the wall pizza place and chowed down on a large slice of margherita pizza. Vorrei un pizza margherita. I am not quite sure where to even start on my day and I am sorry if things seem out of order or don't make sense. All I have to say is go to Venice during Carnival and you will understand everything. But if you can't make it in January, just go to Venice in general because it will change your life. For those of you unaware of what Carnival is, let me explain. Prior to going, I was informed that it was similar to our version of Mardi Gras and lets just say, no who-ha's were being shown for any beads, and even if they were, they would be insane and their nips would probably break off from the cold. Second of all, it is not nearly as crazy in the sense that everyone is playing the game of blackout or drunk skunk. Rather Carnival is like Halloween meets a masquerade ball and with thousands of people. As my roommate described it "you got the young, you got the old, you got the small, you got the fat, the attractive and the ugly, the masked and the unmasked, the drunk and the not drunk"(even though later she explained that she thinks she was the only drunk one because they decided that in order to stay warm they should play a little game of edward-forty-hands and drink themselves warm...don't worry the Gorilla and I are not insane, we just sipped hot wines, downed a few beers because we are legal and we can!) After pizza and with no plans ahead of us, we were off to explore Venice. First of all, there are no cars in Venice, and I think I saw one or two bikes sporadically riding throughout the city. Second of all Venice is rather confusing because every street looks like the next and at the same time every streets architecture, design and bridge are all different. There is a joke throughout Venice that when asking where you can find San Marco square you should take your left and point in one way and your right hand and point in another. They have million signs through out the city that "apparently" lead you to San Marco square or to the Rialto bridge, but the Gorilla and I found that we were constantly going in circles and it was like one big maize to try to find anything but I didn't hate it. I actually loved that it was so mysterious, it is what made the city so magical. In order to blend in, the Gorilla and I purchased masks, a blue to match my eyes and a red to match the Gorilla's scarf. And in order to stay warm, we treated our frozen little tushies to some hot wine. We finally found San Marco square and there are no words to describe its beauty and splendor. Every five steps people were dressed in the most elaborate costumes and masks and it was as if I had set up my dream photo shoot. My hands went crazy and my camera almost ran out of memory space. The Gorilla and I were getting a little cold so logically we decided the best thing to do was to eat. For some reason we decided that going into an Asian restaurant in Venice was a good idea. I think it was that they were offering free sitting with no service charge (usually if you sit down, you pay a service charge) but 18 euros after we realized that they didn't have a kitchen in the restaurant and that they had served us microwave pasta dishes. Despite the terrible food, it was a rather entertaining dinner. A Swedish family fell for the free service fee trap as well and their daughter was dressed in full flower power costume and by that I mean I think they cleared out the fake flower store because her entire costume was covered in fake flowers. Her head looked like a garden and her face was covered with a metal butterfly mask. From my description you might think this girl is what 5 or 10 years old. Yeah, no. I think she was at least 20 or older. She was a rather large and extremely tall flower giant. Her looks weren't the only funny thing, but rather than taking off her mask to eat, her dad held up one side of her mask while she shoved food under the opening. I almost died. After our not so lean cuisine we headed back out to San Marco square to watch little sperm men with lighting boults rocket power through the air (Men dressed in spandex silver onesies, did flips and splits off a trampoline contraption while fire works and loud music filled the stage. Only in Europe would this be acceptable) I forgot to mention that earlier in the day, they had a performance where they dressed volunteers from the audience in white willy wonka onesies and were instructed to paint a larger than life work of art. After ten minutes of painting, the hosts for the show (imagine the main character from "We Sing in Sillyville" on massive drugs and italian, with her sidekick host who in his past life was for sure a leprechaun, but in his present life was a bald headed 40 year old pot belly man in a velvet green suit) they revealed the grand painting but unfortunately they decided to paint a girl sniffing a blue flower ( I still haven't figure that one out but it was pretty cool) Two freak shows down the Gorilla and I were heading to a bar right near San Marco square when all of the sudden a stampede of 50 drunk college students dressed in zoo creatures ran into the bar, chanting some Italian cheer and downing, what I later learned were called "spritzers". Pigs, Zebras, Octopus heads, monkeys, superhero's and even two diapered babies filled the bar. The Gorilla and I watched through the window like two little children in in front of the toy shop in aw until two boys, one furry Gorilla and one Mask of Zorro were all of the sudden standing outside talking to us. The Furry Gorilla was actually a boy dressed in a Gorilla costume with coconut boobies, just to clarify the two Gorilla's. The Furry Gorilla greeted me with a cheerful hello and then all of the sudden grabs my hand as if he is going to kiss it. Slightly impressed and a little blushing, I smile back at him in hopes that he will actually kiss it but no. No he did not kiss my hand. Do know what he did? HE LICKED IT. HE GRABBED MY LICKED IT and then proceeded to gnaw on it. I mean what did I expect, he was actually a Gorilla, not a prince charming in the least bit. I am not sure if some evil mean girl has placed a "lick me" sign on my back but this is the second time in two weeks that I have been licked. A little weirded out the Gorilla and I proceed to talk to these boys for some odd reason and then head to the bar to test out these "spritzers". We later found out this cluster of farm animals and what-nots were a group of college students from Siena, enjoying their carnival celebrations by doing a pub crawl. We wandered around the city, but were pretty exhausted, so we took the early bus home around 9:30 to guarantee that we would not have to hitch a ride this time around.
posted friday february first two thousand and eight.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
i thought thursday was over in the last post. but no it wasn't.
So where did I leave you. oh yes the bug lights, my eyes dipped in acid tired, and me facing the greece balled-freckle connecting Gorilla. oh well the story of my thursday actually just started right where I left off on my last post. We finally arrived in Venice a little "retardo" (no I am not being offensive, it is the Italian word for late) Having come ever so slightly unprepared, we got off the train and moseyed our way through what looked like Hogwarts train station. In fact, the lady across from me on the train actually looked like Professor McGonigall's sister. The station was completely empty, no trains, just waves of fog and lost students with luggage at hand ( I actually think they filmed HP there) Thank goodness our roommates came Venice last weekend and thank goodness we asked them for directions literally two minutes before we left (in life two minutes might not seem that long, you brush your teeth for two minutes, my mom can sneeze for two minutes and it takes my dad two minutes to say one sentence in the heat of a story...but in Gorilla and sidekick time, two minutes can mean the world) and while two minutes doesn't seem like much those two minutes partially saved our lives. We got on bus number 5 that was "apparently" going to take us to the airport, that would then "apparently" take us to our hostel. Venice is an extremely expensive city, so most hostels (aka a students five star hotel) are located all over the out skirts of the city. Bus number 5 did indeed take us to the airport (one down) but little did we know that the bus from the airport to the hostel stopped running at 9:40 pm. At 9:40 pm the Gorilla was listening to Brittany Spears on the train, while I was writing my last post. At 12:30 am, the Gorilla and I were trying to get on that same bus that stopped running AT 9:40!! Slightly nervous, slightly confused as to what we should do, we attempted to go inside the airport but our first test was a failure and the doors were locked. At this point, I just wanted to cry and I thought we were going to be sleeping on our backpacks wrapped in our towels outside the airport. But like in all Gorilla and sidekick adventures, the number one rule is to never give up. We followed our motto and proceeded to walk around the other side of the airport and just was we approached the door a lady was leaving and we snuck in. At this point, I was accepting that we were going to sleep on our backpacks wrapped in our towels inside the airport. Right when we entered, I just happened to stop a rather young and charming airport attendee to ask him where we might find a number for a cab. I explain to him that we missed the bus and needed to get to our hostel (I did find the name of the hostel by the way) He stops and instead offers us a ride to the hostel. He told us that it was right on his way home and that he would have no problem and no charge. A little hesitant at first, charming young man could tell we did not trust him and he told us that the cabs were very expensive. $$$ (but imagine those dollar signs as euro signs...and then you get a little dizzy...it could cost 80 euro and that is almost 160 U.S dollars and that is 80 things we could potentially buy at the euro store and that is 80 euros we were going to use to pay for our hostel and all of our food for the weekend). As soon as he said that the Gorilla and I looked each other straight in the eyes and decided that death was better than an expensive taxi ride (and who knew if we could even get a taxi and who knew if Mr. taxi man would even be safe) Instantly, the Gorilla and I forgot everything we had ever learned since the day we could walk and talk at the same time and decided that we would rather die than pay 80 euro to get to our hostel. So Ricardo, the airport attendee kindly walked us through the miles of fog (the fog was so bad, you could actually not see more than 10 feet in front of you) to his euro style Fiat car. The entire walk there I kept thinking of all the items that I had in my backpack that I could offer him/ attack him with if god forbid something happened. I had a pair scissors, an exacto knife, really stinky farts, and the most important weapon of mass destruction...the GORILLA. And I could also bribe him with an ATM card that is worthless without the pin code (hahaha), 20 euros and possibly he might want my janky cell phone (but probably not) Through the fog we zoomed in and out of the street and around a couple of rotaries. With only a few moments of awkward silences, and sing-a-long to Amy Winehouse, we were able to tell Ricardo our names in Italian and where we were from and he gave us tips about going into Venice. [mother I know you are probably having a heart attack, but Ricardo was a kind young man, a safe driver and works for the airline company] More than anything, I was scared we might be road kill because it was impossible to see out of Ricardo's bitty mobile but he reassured us that he had done this drive for over 3 years now. Luckily Ricardo, the airport attendee was a nice young man, and an episode of Law and Order: International Crimes, did not occur. 20 minutes later we arrived at our hostel, Alba D'Oro (or as one of my roommates told me how to remember it, Alba, as in Jessica Alba) Now if you think that our rendezvous with Ricardo was sketchy, just wait until you hear about the "hostel" we arrived at. Our roommates had stayed at the same hostel last weekend and came back describing as being similar to a fema trailer park and their description wasn't anything shy of that. We arrive at the gates slightly concerned we were a. at the wrong place and b. that we were not going to be able to check in but luckily pimp daddy nigerian hostel man was waiting for someone to arrive. At this point it was now 1:00 in the morning and he told us that we didn't have a reservation but before I could start convulsing, the Gorilla found my name on the check-in list. In order to get a full understanding of what this hostel was really like you need to pull out your little imagination button and press it REALLY hard. Imagine a huge plot of land that has just been hit by a tornado, a hurricane, maybe even a tsunami, or better yet a crater from Mars followed by rain. Got that in your head, then imagine that the red cross came in for an emergency clean up and then habitat for humanity invested their money into purchasing trailers instead of building homes. I bet your imagination is going wild because my entire world has now changed since this experience. Setup like small prison camp barracks, each individual trailer is designed a little differently. You have the singles in one row, you got the doubles in another, the triples and so on. Okay, I am posting pictures but sometimes photographic images are not able to capture exactly how something might be and words are always good to use. Exhausted from a full day of class, a 2 hour train ride, a quasi hitch hike car ride and a long check in, we hauled our stuff across the park and arrived at our pin. Pin number 27 (they called each trailer a pin) The door was unlocked, so the Gorilla made me go first. While the Gorilla is a Gorilla, I am a little more brave when it comes to opening trailer homes at 2 in the morning when the door is unlocked. A bunk bed, a cot, a remote control heater, a bathroom, a closet, two shelves and two blankets was what we got, but it was really all we needed. We truly paid for what we got. For 16.50 euro a night, I was pleasantly surprised. As a young girl growing up, my sister and I always fantasized that our dream home would be a mobile home that was parked outside of Disney World and in some bizarre way, I was fulfilling .00001 percent of the long lost desire to live in a mobile home. Many people say that Venice is a fairy tale city and Disney is exactly that. Oh and one more thing to add to the day. When we made our reservations online we could only find a three person room/trailer and we assumed no girl would travel alone, so we wouldn't have to worry but when we arrived we found out we would be getting one. Well I think that now raps up my thurs-day-night-fri-morn.
p.s. I just "free translated" the word Alba D'Oro from Italian to English and it means dawn of the gold. I still need to do a little thinking about this one.
p.s.s. Mr. Webster you can add that word "free translated" to your 3,000 edition!
Crazy Rice. Florescent Lights. Welcoming Venice Nights.
I am actually getting sick. Mom don't worry. I will be fine but for the first time in a really long time (aka since the snip snip of the tonsils tonsils) I have had a wee bit of a sore throat. Luckily Thursdays are my favorite days so I was able to perk up a bit. In bookmaking I learned how to make my own book binding cloth. I am so artsy fartsy these days...all I want is a Michael's and shopping cart because it is rather difficult to find the supplies I need here. But now I can take any fabric my little heart desires and make it into a cover using an ancient Japanese process using wheat starch. I feel like a bubby but instead of knitting all day...I just want to make books and books. Guess what I had for lunch? Anna's! I stayed after class today to work on photog because I am heading to Venice tonight for Carnival and I have a project due the Tuesday I return. 5 1/2 hours later, slightly on happy pills because of the chemicals and the "crazy rice" I devoured while waiting for my film to dry, I finished only 3 of the 5 prints. (p.s. crazy chips are like coco crispies in the States but they look more like gerbil food and taste a little bit like coco-cardboard but they only cost 1 euro..oh how I love the euro store) After class the Gorilla and I rushed home to pack for Venice and gather enough food for the weekend so we wouldn't have to pay for food in Venice (our roommates went last weekend and said that it was rather pricey and that they didn't have a euro store) Right now I am sitting on the trainto Venice writing this blog of bloggy-ness while the Gorilla is playing connect the dots freckles astrology style and is connecting every single freckle on her arm. I kind of feel like I want to vomit right now because I am so exhausted, that kind of exhausted where your eyes burn and your fingers feel fat from traveling but I can't because they have lined the train with florescent lights or incandescent bug lights for those of you who don't understand the pain that I am in. I am facing the Gorilla and she looks rather similar to olive oil head man because she forgot to wash all of the shampoo out of her hair today and I look like a cow that has been tipped over while sleeping and is discombobulated. The man behind me is blasting show tunes but looks diabetic and depressed (The Gorilla wanted to offer him some gummies but she thought it might raise his blood sugar) Before getting on the train the Gorilla and I stopped by the euro store to buy three bags of gummies that was supposed to last us the entire weekend but the gummies here are like drugs, and 2 bags down, you could say we have an addiction to rasta pasta sours sticks and friendly farm animals chews. We really have no clue how to get to the hostel we are staying at tonight and I can't even remember the name of it but like all Gorilla and sidekick adventures, I know we will figure it out. Nothing could be more exciting than plopping me and the Gorilla in Venice during the most crazy time of the year. We just arrived in Venice. Dear god, help me.
-ciao ciao
+written on the train to Venice on January 31, 2008 at approximately 22:00.
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