Tuesday, May 27, 2008

No Balony In Blarney.

Last night we decided that we had had enough of the Dublin Drinkin delight and that we would venture out to Cork for the day. We had heard wonderful things about Cork and following the motto of my favorite gelato place "Perche No?", we thought "why not". We found out that there was a bus leaving at 8:10 from the central station for only 10 euro. 4 hours and a few naps later we arrived in the port city of Cork. Similar to the small town, happy go lucky feel of Dublin, the city is situated on a river, being over looked by hills filled with little houses. Unfortunately the raining man followed us to Cork, and all the sky had to offer us was rain and rain followed by more rain. With one umbrella we managed to survive.  We also did not do the best of planning because Sunday's in Europe are more like dead days, and everything is closed. With the rain in our face and the stores blocking us from fun (well not really, we didn't want to go shopping anyway) we decided to ask a local Cork-ite what we should do in Cork. One lady shrugged her shoulder and said nothing and another recommended to go to Blarney to see the Blarney stone. Without any hesitation we headed back to the bus and took an hour bus ride up to Blarney. The town of Blarney is like one of those lego towns my brother used to build when he was younger. Small local stores situated around an open field of grass. A few steps outside the circle stands the Blarney castle where the Blarney stone lives. At first there was no way in hell that I was going to pay 8 euros to inside some castle that was 90 percent closed due to the rain and the fact that it was Sunday, but the Gorilla and Carolyn raised a good point..what else should we do?. We climbed the castle, room by room and imagined what it would have been like back in the day. Arms linked together, we read every single posting they had up about the castle and apparently kissing the Blarney stone is on the list for one of the 100 things you should do before you die. Boo Yah, check that one off. We found this cave that was titled Military Hide Out and we forced the Gorilla, even though she threw a Gorilla pity party for her unfortunate height, into the cave only to find out after we had gotten down on our hands and knees, that it led to no where but a small little hole. It was pretty funny watching the Gorilla make her way out of the cave. We finally made it to the top of the castle to see and kiss the Blarney stone but when we got there we couldn't find it. Little did we know that the Blarney stone was located inside the actual wall of the castle and that it had to be kissed in a very special way. Upside down and backwards was the only way to do it. Look up above for better visuals. Kiss Kiss Kiss, the three little children kissed the Blarney stone. YEAH! We made our way back down the castle to a coffee shop for a quick game of cards and a dry off session before our we headed back on the bus to Cork. In Cork we managed to find the only restaurant open to sit and wait for our bus back to Dublin. Not that hungry and that thirsty we settled for some broiled sweets and spread with bread platter. The waiter looked us like we were crazy. We had no idea what ordering broiled sweets would be like, but lets just say they were life changing. We built an entire town out of broiled sweet and managed to tear apart our mouths with them. We played 8 or 9 games of gin, until the Gorilla ruined the fun with her stupid rules about adding 26 for this or that. Before we knew it was time to head back to the town of Dub Dub Dublin. We tried to go back to the Italian restaurant that we went to the first night because it was actually reasonably priced but they were closed. Chinese food from a freaky chinese lady is what we got. Exhausted from our day, we were more in the mood to watch a movie than to go out. The hostel had a tv room and computer room which was very fortunate, however the couches looked like they had been picked up on trash day and brought here. There was the couple in the room that would not stop talking and we named them the Sunday-Night Dead. We found out that they had also kissed the Blarney stone and we all secretly threw up in our mouths. Carolyn and I were given the responsibility to choose a movie for the night and when we chose "UK's funniest video (thats what the sheet said) "I Want To Be Famous" we realized that the VHS educational film was terrible. The Gorilla got to make the final pick. She is good for something. School of Rock rocked me to sleep on the couch and I schnoozed while the Gorilla and Carolyn watched away. Carolyn had a Canadian lover who sat next to her and tried to sit closer to her through out the entire film. It was funny. We finally made it back to our room ready for bed. But sleeping was not an option. Our new French roommates had arrived and they were also interested in a little Q and A session. They were staying in Dublin for a couple of days before moving to northern Ireland to work for a friend of a friends. I asked them if they were students but they replied, No, they were workers. One question lead to another and then finally one of their other friends made it back in the room and thats when it got freaky. He started asking us if we liked playing the "bottle game". At first we were a little confused because we didn't know what the butter game was but after a few different iterations and descriptions we figured out that they wanted to know if we wanted to play spin the bottle. Giggle and giggles followed by howls and howls. One guy asked us if we like giving messages. We interpreted that as "if we like getting messages". But little did we know the questions was "do we like giving massages". It was pretty funny. The best part about the whole thing was that the all of the boys were wearing this tiny spanky booty shorts. They had no shame at all walking around the room in their tight little boxers. After too many laughs and bizarre questions (not to mention it was now 4:30), my eyes gave up and my body went in to deep sleep. I now gave these boys the true award for being the biggest "freaky frenchies".

postness from the day of the 27th in the month of April in the year of two thousand and eight. 

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