Take Me to WEIN.

After a night in Mecca, we all decided that the sleeping in was vital to our 5 am bed time. Morning bagels from Bohemian satisfied our tummies. We climbed back into Emmy's oh so comfortable bed and watched hours of the OC, in order to jog back our memories to the good old days of high school and Mischa Barton. Literally exhausted from our travels we pretty much stayed in bed all day, relaxed and packed up our belongings before our 4 hour train to WEIN (some call it Vienna). Before our 5pm train we picked up another round of Bohemian and gave kisses goodbye and then it was off to Austria. The traveling fools must keep traveling! We were successfully and thankfully able to get our own cabin (or else some poor souls would have suffered explosions, funny talk and feet) We giggled, burped, ate, slept, carded and smiled the whole way there. We watched from our windows the mountains and neon patched grass. At one point we passed through a couple of towns that looked abandoned and haunted. The Gorilla insisted that we tell scary stories. Because I hate scary stories, she insisted that she tell them. She told two very terrifying ones that happened to her friend Juno. But now that I am writing this, I honestly question if Juno exists, and the Gorilla didn't just read them online or better yet make them up. I wouldn't be surprised at all. So if you want to know any scary stories, just ask the Gorilla, she knows a bunch. Snort, fart, laugh, talk, listen, watch, surprise, tell, smell, sleep. Four hours later, we finally made it to Wein. After we escaped the gas and vinegar filled cabin and we hopped aboard the train into town. From my directions, we were rather successful in finding the hostel. However, we were not successful in actually staying at the hostel. Apparently, if you don't check into a hostel before 4pm, even with a reservation, they give up your room and you remain homeless on the streets, or you go to places on the absolute other side of town called the Golden Squirrel. I tried my best to put on my "bitch" face and threaten them with farts but they didn't seem to care all too much. We couldn't hate them all that much because they were able to find us another place to stay (however, it was a two person room for three people) and we were able to regain our reservation for the following night. Like wondering cats in the mist of the night, the Gorilla, Carolyn (now named the Princess) and I trotted through the streets of Vienna looking for the Golden Squirrel. I am not even going to lie one bit, it was pretty sketchy and we truly had no clue where we were going but we finally found it at the end of street next to a train station, only to find out its name was the Golden Spine. I still can't decide which name for a hotel is creepier, the Golden Spine or the Golden Squirrel. Despite its real name, we collectively decided that we wanted to call it the Golden Squirrel because it sounded far more appealing than some golden spine. We climbed up the three flights of stairs to our room (taken straight out of a horror film. I am almost positive that part of the Shinning was shot here) and threw our luggage to the ground, exhausted from our mid night adventures. It was the most bizarre room and for some reason there was a not a toilet in our room. We spent a good 5 or 10 minutes looking for the bathroom in our not so big room, only to find out that it was actually in the hall way. Seriously, horror film material. And more seriously, what if someone had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, agh, they would have to creep into the hall way and turn on the timed light switch. I forgot to mention that the lights in the bathroom would only turn on for a short period of time because they were on a timer system. Even more terrifying. I went to the bathroom and prayed that I would not have to go until the morning. For the 4th night in a row, I was deemed crack baby. For the first time, I was actually pissed and tried to fight my way out of it. The Gorilla pulled this stupid "I am too tall, I am a Gorilla" b.s. and the princess sat on her butt like a princess and I slept in the crack. Finally after I was able to fall asleep, the Gorilla started freaky out saying that I was breathing too hard. Yes, I am human and I do breathe to stay alive. She insisted that she should sleep on the floor and turned into a midnight evil Gorilla, with fangs and claws. I turned into a passive crack baby and the Gorilla turned to an aggressive Gorilla. I tried my best but the Gorilla insisted on returning back to her natural habitat, the floor and I was able to get myself out of the crack. We all finally fell asleep, it just wasn't a good nights sleep, thats all.

post from May 1 2008 in the Austria.